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Anonymous 34 KB PNG 10/08/22(Sat)12:06:10 No.171987547 >Um, I'm sorry, did you just confuse me for an AMERICAN? Excuse me, I'll have you know I'm CANADIAN. We are nothing like those racist, gun totting Trumpophiles. Canada is actually more culturally similar to France than anything. Did you know we have Tim Hortons and FREE healthcare? Anonymous >>171987547 (OP) thats right though 10/08/22(Sat) 12:07:35 No.171987610 canadians are far more humans than americans althought still not that much against actual europeans being anglos and such Anonymous >>171987752 Canadians unironically do talk like this and I am not even memeing. 10/08/22(Sat)12:13:00 No.171987819

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon finds ‘the one’ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 10/07/22 (Fri)11:09:15 No.886912133 >be me >finally got a gf a few months ago >be yesterday >take gf to have dinner at my childhood house >excited for her to meet my parents >friendly greetings ensue >I show her around while my parents finish preparing dinner >show her my room >big bins of legos, shelves of built lego sets, and anime figures >"Wow anon, your parents bought you alot of toys when you were little" >remember "be yourself" dating meme >tell her that I actually bought all of them after I moved out >explain that I moved them out of my apartment and stored them here after we started dating >admit I did that because I didn't want her to think I was a man-child >she makes face like pic related >oh f--- f--- f--- >f------ f---, why did I tell her that? I just ruined everything, f--- me >"Anon..." >"Yeah?" >"I think I love you" I've never felt such warmth in my heart, I think I made it, I think she is the one

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Leave it in my dreams | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/07/22 (Fri)13:48:44 No.68570164 >be me >fall asleep while bench pressing (hit new PR 115 lbs) >have sex dream about gym crush (dat ass tho) >feel someone tapping my shoulder >wake up, takes a while to remember where I am bc groggy >it's gym crush >she tells me I had a wet dream and points to the obvious boner in my c-- soaked sweatpants >asks if she can use the bench rack now >I mumble a mix between yes and sorry (yorry), then I run to lockeroom and cry in toilet stall until everyone leaves gym >>68570187 # >>68571374 # >>68571971 #

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I guess there's more to this shit | /r/Greentext

star-wars-the-last-jedi-Temiri-Blagg-broom-boy.jpg 148 KB JPG >be me >A few years ago I wrote a story about my brother who showed our aunt his d--- >Someone made a story from his perspective >Someone else made a story from my aunt's perspective >Someone else made a story from my mom's perspective >While reading I was believing all of it until they said I went trans which I didn't >Rather than just assuming it was all a Larp I choose to believe that there are actually countless people out there who have tried to f--- their aunt >This phenomenon could be a cinematic universe of its own, the "aunt Id like to f---" universe, or the "Ailf" universe >There are many of them out there, boys and men who have fallen for their mother/father's sister and attempted to lure them in using their p--- addiction >Consider it like a real world version of the Jedi, my brother is one of them >At night they stay awake feeling the pain of not being able to f--- their aunt >They will become more and more powerful to achieve their goals >If they work together, they can finally f--- their aunts

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anon act like he doesn't care | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Don't stick your d--- in crazy(...) 2 KB JPG 10/08/22(Sat) 12:47:26 No.886949072 >Be me 1 year ago >randomly meet woman on bus. >talks with me. >frumpy hippy type,vegetarian,total lefty >hang out with her because bored. >Tell her I'm rightwing, expect spergout, instead she starts liking me w--? >takes me home with her, neckbeard tier mess. >We f---, wants me to stay the night. >She's a druggy and alcoholic wine aunt, with cats and a dog, of course she is. >We become friends with benefits somehow, even though I'm not exactly into her. >She borrows my old gaming laptop(fine at least I can use it when I'm over),I also gift her my old plasma tv. >Over the weeks I become increasingly annoyed with her schizo ramblings and emotional outbursts. >Trying to politely distance myself Isn't working, she's like a damn boomerang that keeps coming back. >I try to get my laptop back a few times, but only get excuses, and broken promises. >Suddenly she tells me she found a new bf, he's some neet lefty anarchist like her, they deserve eachother. >She stops badgering me now finally, I'm cutting contact, keep the laptop! >Live in peace, happy she's out of my life. >learned my lesson the hard way lads, w-- did I bumble into? : Anonymous >>886949072 (OP) # : Anonymous Grow a spine and a pair you cuck. 10/08/22(Sat)12:49:58 No.886949141 10/08/22(Sat)12:50:20 No.886949157

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the dancing cookie | /r/Greentext

>be me >A truck driver who has to deliver cookies across the United States >As I head west one of the cookies jumps out of the box and says "hi I'm a dancing cookie" and starts humming Mozart's serenade 13 in G Major while shaking side to side >I laugh and put the cookie back in the box >Another 30 miles pass and the cookie jumps back out once again humming serenade number 13 in G major 223 KB JPG once more >Now I'm annoyed and I throw the cookie back into the box >Another few miles pass and once again the dancing cookie gets out and starts dancing while humming the song >I angrily say "look cookie, this is your final warning, if you get out one more time I will throw you into that lake up there" >Right as we drive by the lake the cookie gets out once more and dances to his hearts content >I grab the cookie and throw it into the Lake the end

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The engagement | /r/Greentext

1.04 MB PNG >be me >At seafood restaurant where they actually catch some of their food from the outside lake >Sitting on dock by the lake waiting for my girlfriend to show up >Today is the day I propose >I'm looking at the ring and my hands get all twitchy and I drop it >The ring falls into the lake and I'm totally screwed at this point >Girlfriend shows up, we go inside to eat >I'm all nervous and thinking of what to do >Just then the waitress shows up with our food >My girlfriend got oysters and two of them were stuck to something >She pulls it out and.. >I begin hearing serenade 13 in G major by Mozart >Inside of her oyster is a dancing cookie the end

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Anon watches Scooby Doo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon is wondering how to get girls. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 300 KB JPG : Anonymous 137 KB PNG 10/08/22(Sat)03:23:34 No.14905054 Physics senior here. What subfield of physics will get me the most girls? I'm thinking Quantum Computing for the grift into startup capital angle. 10/08/22(Sat)03:30:13 No.14905059 >>14905054 (OP) # retard

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Anon finds out the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 09/14/16(Wed)22:36:22 No.703956574 >"Shaken, not stirred" I got curious and wanted to know if there was an actual difference between shaking a martini and stirring it. I thought it wouldn't matter, since you're just mixing the ingredients, but apparently a study was conducted to determine if the preparation of a martini had any influence on its antioxidant capacity; the study found that shaken gin martinis were able to break down hydrogen peroxide and leave only 0.072% of the peroxide behind, while the stirred gin martini left behind 0.157% of the peroxide. Based on this information I have concluded that for James Bond to be able to detect a difference this small, he must be massively autistic.

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Anon went to /fit/, but will never escape /pol/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 10/07/22(Fri)14:16:26 No.68570424 >be kv >lift for years to hopefully fix this >finally get a gf a month ago >just found out she's jewish

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Anons a story teller | /r/Greentext

File: pepewithcat.jpg (20 KB, 435x318) Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)20:43:56 No.882770455 >be me >retarded >the end *something relatable*

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Anon didn’t expect this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>886938038 10/07/22 (Fri)23:21:20 No.886939919 >be me, 17 >first year undergrad at a VERY christian school >HAve gf, go out for valentines day in the evening >Lil park and a pond, have a drink on the small pier >super romantic, kiss her at the pond >back to the car, start making out clothes come off >f--- her, s--- was cash >sudden_bright_light.jpg >local security rolls up, demands us to get dressed and wants to see ID >hand over my driver's license, gf hands over her school ID >f---.mpeg >security kicks us out of the neighborhood, we go to mcdonalds and get shakes >get kicked out of the school a week later

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Greentext Stories - Anon experience the Canadian | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 34 KB PNG 10/08/22(Sat)12:06:10 No.171987547 >Um, I'm sorry, did you just confuse me for an AMERICAN? Excuse me, I'll have you know I'm CANADIAN. We are nothing like those racist, gun totting Trumpophiles. Canada is actually more culturally similar to France than anything. Did you know we have Tim Hortons and FREE healthcare? Anonymous >>171987547 (OP) thats right though 10/08/22(Sat) 12:07:35 No.171987610 canadians are far more humans than americans althought still not that much against actual europeans being anglos and such Anonymous >>171987752 Canadians unironically do talk like this and I am not even memeing. 10/08/22(Sat)12:13:00 No.171987819

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