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Anonymous 20 KB JPG 12/06/22(Tue)18:21:42 No.177585686 >"y'know I always wonder where all this Halloween imagery originated from y'know. Like, the skeletons. I wonder who came up with skeletons and associated them with Halloween since they're SUPER creepy looking and-" >"uh Joe, the skeleton is our bone structure" >"w-what do you mean?" >"well uhh... the human skeleton is what makes up our physical structure alongside our muscles and-" >Joes eyes bulge out of his skull as he leans in clutching his microphone >"no f------ way dude h--------" >historian is looking visibly confused as Joe rocks back and forth in his chair >"Jamie pull up a skeleton and an adult human side by side" >"ooooh s--- I can totally see it look at like the arms and the legs and everything! I bet that's why chimps are so much stronger since we evolved to have one of these whereas they just have muscle"

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: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

IT'S OVER ► Chud 9 days ago Nº20669 [Reply] >>20670 >>20709 >>20764 I genuinely believe it's literally over for me. >did not participate in any clubs during hs >never made any friends because of the high percentage of lg hivaids in my school >didnt take any ap nor college courses to bump up my gpa. >never had a real friendship because of them being Ig hivaids >didnt participate in any senior activity or event >old 'cord messages from 2021 got leaked of me saying i hate ni , f, and tr what the f--- did I do wrong in life? why are so many people part of lg hivaids? is it geniuenly over? sometimes, I miss the old middle school days of me doing stupid s--- like sniffing markers.

Daily Daily Mail US @DailyMail - 1m mail American women denounce men and sex as .com 600 revenge for Trump election win trib.al/MCBOOSJ 3 271 2 ili 140 IMG_9025.jpg 651 KB JPG Sorry, bros. But sex just isn't happening anymore. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article- 14049931/american-women-boycott-sex-men-revenge- election-trump-kamala-harris.html Anonymous (ID: Pil/kYhY) 11/07/24(Thu)07:39:34 No.487437451 >>487437006 (OP) # >Trump not even in office yet >Gets women to stop being w----- voluntarily. 15 KB PNG >>487445048 # >>487445214 # >>487452134 # >>487457290 # >>487461260 # >>487464974 # >>487465414 # >>487467206 # >>487469969 # >>487470460 # >>487470855 # >>487473285 # 197175206 # 197176206 # 1971776 11 # 197101015 #

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anon makes dick jokes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/05/20(Sun)01:46:30 No.824506187 >Be me >19 >work packaging at a meat processing plant >thats right, im a meat packer >put meat in the pockets for sealing >every now and then machine spergs out and displays an error >"error #24" "error #11" for example >never see an "error #1" start making jokes like "error #1: d--- caught in machine" >machine has blades to cut packages >one day we are f------ around too much >one guy gets pushed >falls on one of the blades 311 KB PNG >his face goes white as he gets up >blood all over his stomach and crotch >the machine keeps rolling >before we get a chance to hit the emergency stop we see a bunch of meat chunks roll through >notice the tip of his d--- rolling by >goes through sealer >mfw machine automatically stops >mfw error displayed on screen >mfw "error #1: foreign object in machine"

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Anon is proud of himself | /r/Greentext

41 KB PNG Little story that im proud of >Be me >be born with the curse of anxiety >be like 8, s---'s is a problem so big that my parents can't ignore it >unable to speak to new kids or in front of the class >be 14 >decide to change >force myself to do everything that makes my heart go full speed >be 18, i did it, sorta, i can act calm but still im a nervous wreck >Be me now >studying to be a nurse >have to do a presentation in front of the class about anything for a s--- subject that no ones cares about but it's the last grade of it, so everyone is there. >there's a catch, whoever goes in front, will have a heartbeat monitor on >the day comes, and all girls that goes in front sees their heartbeat and go full panic mode, stuttering and stammering >"Your turn anon" >everyone sees my heartbeat, goes between 120-150 >act so calm during the whole thing >i can actually see the shock faces of ppl whos paying attention and understands what's happening >i get a genuine applauses >teacher congratulates me >i feel so happy but i leave the classroom beacause im still a p---- >next day >girl: "Hey anon, you know this?" >"Yeah, i can explain it", acting cool with my kinda fake cool voice >"Hey anon, are you nervous now?" >".... Yeah" >Smiles at me and chuckles This was yesterday, and kinda felt good that people realized how much effort i put on social stuff and i wanted to share it with someone

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Anons parents get a divorce | /r/Greentext

File: 1299418496.jpg-(23 KB, 399x382, DAD-SON1.jpg) OBⒸAnonymous 03/06/11(Sun)08:34:56 No.314002202 >>had the best dad of the world >>always used to play with me after work, really loved me and my bro >>one day, i came back from elementary school >>mom was all furious and angry and stuff >> i asked what happened and where dad is >>she told me he broke up with her, got another woman and a kid >> didnt understand the world >> dad would never do such a thing >> went to my room, after 5 hours i realised dad would not come back >> was really sad, started crying and stuff >> one month passed, not a single sign from dad >> the next 3 months, sadness changed to anger >> how could he just leave me without even saying goodbye >> years passed, started to forgot about him >> already had a familiy and own childs, loved them really much >> the more i loved my children, the more i could not understand how he could have done that to me >> one day, my aunt called me saying my dad was about to die of cancer >> didn't give a flying f---, he forgot me >> later my wife told me i had to go to visit him >> arrived at hometown hospital >> everybody was there, even my mom for some reason >> everybody was crying, he just died. >> did not shed a single tear >> 3 days later, my mom gave me an f------ huge basket full of letters >>said that it was from my dad to me and she was sorry that she didn't gave them to me >> my heart crushed >> moments of silence, then went banana and hit mom in face and stuff >> later went to dads flat to take things and stuff >> there was no f------ other family >> it was a one-man-flat, one bed >> and in the middle of the living room >> in the middle of the living room >> there was a picture of my brother, my mom and me

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Anon realises importance of life | /r/Greentext

onymous 10/01/21(Fri)16:22:33 No.864183889 >My life sucks, wagecuck work 80 hours. a week. Still no money cause job sucks. >No girlfriend, cause no money and no time to find one >Massively depressed. >I think about killing myself all the time >Try to get up the nerve by watching gore videos. One time spent an hour watching videos of hangings 22 KB JPG >Afterwards I always feel better >Gore sites are my antidepressants >I feel bad for those people, but their ending gets my through the dark times. >I guess I see it, and realize it isn't a solution >Maybe all this s--- is worth it

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Anons discuss how they boil water. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>59999380 >>60000250 >>60000384 itt things americans dont understand Anonymous [05/28/16(Sat)10:30:48 No.59998782► >>59998804 >>59998691 (OP) what? americans don't have that? Do they just skip from poor with nothing to flat out expresso machines or something? A This can't be real 05/28/16(Sat)10:26:44 No.59998691 >>59998782 >>59998980 >> Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:31:53 No.59998804 ► >>59998855 >>59998782 (You) they MICROWAVE water like f------ mongoloids Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:33:59 No.5999885559998877 >>59998959 >>59999048 >>59998804 tell me this is you pulling my chain TE Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:35:07 No.59998877 ► >>59998934 Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:40:14 No.59999021 >>59999046 >>59999085 >>59999116 >>59999126 >>59999161 >>59999194 >>59999245 >>59999356 >>59999429 >>59999477 >>59999795 >>59999896 >>60000656 >>60000820 >>59998855 (You) no, they literally have to put a stick in it so they can stir it at the end so it doesn't explode in their faces or some s--- >>59998981 (You) No you frog. Take a glass measuring cup, measure out your water, microwave it for a few minutes, and wa la- boiling water. Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:41:16 No.59999046 Anonymous - 05/28/16(Sat)11:05:45 No.59999852 >>60000062 >>60000413 1462279830789.jpg (51 KB, 600x598) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:18:18 No.60000485 File: this can't be real.jpg (39 KB, 600x759) >this f------ thread I refuse to believe this whole microwaving water malarkey. Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:37:02 No.59998934>>59998981 >>59998877 No stick needed friend. You should try it, I've never even seen an electric kettle. >>59999169 We drink way more coffee than you, yet we don't MICROWAVE WATER to boil it top f------ kek bro onymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:13:52 No.60000344 ► >>60000138 Some of us do, some of don't. We make our own choices here in America and that's what makes this country beautiful Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:19:02 No.60000509 >>60000446 >inferior yuros don't even have static electicity CANT MAKE THIS S--- UP Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:40:20 No.60001006 lol microwave enjoy killing yourself Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:21:06 No.60000561 Don't you get a bunch of toxins leaking from the plastic into the water? Jesus Christ, it's like Euros don't use technology to it's fullest limits. Literally n------ 2bh Šery you had to Sock Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:42:52 No.59999085 > >>59999495 >>59999021 Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:44:17 No.599991 >wa la File: 1429726759680.jpg (40 KB, 500x540) >voilà >>5 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:46:03 No.59999170 >>59999241 File: LtaglRD.jpg (33 KB, 340x373) I thought "wa-la" was just a ck meme. But do they really say it like that? Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:48:37 No.59999241 >>59999170 Yeah we do. It's pronounced wa la senpai. >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:52:19 No.59999356 ► >>59999495 File: 1399126817321.png (6 KB, 390x470) >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:44:43 No.59999126 >>59999021 >wa la >>59999555 >caring about meme dialects >speaking french Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:53:14 No.59999389 >>59999325 t. Wa La HAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHHHAHASHHAHAHHAHAHSdkjashdasd Anonymous [05/28/16(Sat)10:51:23 No.59999323 >>59999287 i'll include you in the screencap >>59999323 (You) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:46:23 No.59999194 File: 1460896556001.jpg (217 KB, 785x900) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:58:32 No. Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:52:23 No.59999361 ► >>59999021 AYYYO DUDE i love you. JUST PUT ON YOUR SHOES AND WA LA YOU NEVER HAVE TO TAKE THEM OFF *claps* U Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:52:14 No.59999353 File: 1451208667809.jpg (13 KB, 232x232) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:53:33 No.59999397 ► >>59999241 It's "voila" you f------ retard Anonymous 05/28/ who /wa la/ here Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:59:58 No.59999605 Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:50:08 No.59999287 >>59999323 >>59999325 >>59999366 File: forgetthis.png (316 KB, 500x349) >>59999245 Please don't screencap this. I have enough reminders of my autistic countrymen already. Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:53:24 No.60001316 File: 1464250084817.jpg (14 KB, 480x480) >>59999021 >wal >a Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:45:35 No >>59999021 wallah bro Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)10:54:51 No.59999429 >>59999021 Wallah veli. >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat) 10:55:10 No.59999442 File: 1444725651424.png (474 KB, 1195x1089) Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)11:32:38 No.60000820 >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)12:48:53 No.60002820 >>59999021 >wa la Wallah GLOBAL BOKER FACE ameriblobs thread when Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)12:17:05 No.60001933 File: 1463919656521.gif (1.71 MB, 500x500) >>59999021 >wa la Anonymous 05/28/16(Sat)12:51:43 No.60002914 File: 1454329713841.gif (293 KB, 878x792) (9 >>59999021 wa la

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anon mistakenly believes self-improvement is possible | /r/Greentext

File: images (5).jpg (21 KB, 552x555) Anonymous 12/02/22(Fri)13:50:06 No.71229198 >>71229220 >>71229256 >>71229264 >>71229467 >>71229483 >>71229529 >>71229609 >>71230084 >quit p--- >got a girlfriend >got a job >worked out more >went outside more >creative interesting hobbies >ate better >applied christlike values and outlook >slept at good time >been with and without meds >drank more water and im still the same depressed melancholic mess ive always been. the fatigue is f------ unreal. im moving in slowmotion with 24/7 psychomotor retardation and not a bone in my body that wants to do or care about anything. f------ lovely. Anonymous 12/02/22(Fri)13:52:15 No.71229220 File: 1622428093758.jpg (12 KB, 258x245) >>71229198 (OP) >he fell for the improover meme

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anon bumps into a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 358 KB JPG 12/05/22(Mon)13:43:44 No.71272690 4 Replies >at university >accidentally bump into girl carrying papers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >I say something like "hey, it's like in the movies" >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" I r---- her What to do now anons? View Thread

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anon is a sub | /r/Greentext

File: 0453E618-A25D-4EB6-871B-A(...).jpg (143 KB, 750x556) full of intrusive thoughts get these stupid thoughts out of my brain Anonymous 12/02/22(Fri)15:54:38 No.28591884 >be me, femboy >get super hot sweet e-girl gf that loves me for who i am >ok with me crossdressing and even hrt eventually >>28591898 >>28591907 >we're both ultra bratty subs tho >try my best to switch for her but submissive urges flood my brain especially when the things im doing to her are things i want to be done to me >cant resist the urge of wanting to be pinned down and dominated >been relapsing with e-sex and posting lewds online for male validation what do i do, i dont want to hurt her she means the world to me but i just cant

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Anon tries a blowjob | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)20:17:24 No.644454419 >>644455296 File: 1438873902563.jpg (31 KB, 505x479) >be 7 >think b------- involve actual blowing >can't blow self >get idea >blow up balloon and stretch it over my d--- as fast as possible >mom walks in >panic and let go of balloon >d--- is out and balloon is flying around the room >can only hear the sound of judgement and farts >balloon hits her face >leaves >cry myself to sleep

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The 2022 online shopping experience | /r/Greentext

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Anon's guide to get a tomboy gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous how do I get a tomboy gf please help >>4203395 # : Anonymous : Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:01:25 No.4203360 450 KB GIF 11/09/21(Tue)09:06:30 No.4203368 11/09/21(Tue)09:28:20 No.4203395 >>4203360 # >go outside >find qt tomboy >talk to her non-autistically >become acquaintances >ask to go to some kind of event or activity together >>4203557 # >>4205015 # >>4205033 # >>4205058 # >>4205267 # : Anonymous >>4203395 # >talk to her non-autistically That's where most of us fail, kiddo. 11/09/21(Tue)11:59:27 No.4203557

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Anon is crab | /r/Greentext

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Greentext Stories - Joe Rogan learns the truth about skeletons | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 20 KB JPG 12/06/22(Tue)18:21:42 No.177585686 >"y'know I always wonder where all this Halloween imagery originated from y'know. Like, the skeletons. I wonder who came up with skeletons and associated them with Halloween since they're SUPER creepy looking and-" >"uh Joe, the skeleton is our bone structure" >"w-what do you mean?" >"well uhh... the human skeleton is what makes up our physical structure alongside our muscles and-" >Joes eyes bulge out of his skull as he leans in clutching his microphone >"no f------ way dude h--------" >historian is looking visibly confused as Joe rocks back and forth in his chair >"Jamie pull up a skeleton and an adult human side by side" >"ooooh s--- I can totally see it look at like the arms and the legs and everything! I bet that's why chimps are so much stronger since we evolved to have one of these whereas they just have muscle"

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