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O Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri) 10:46:17 No.624196373 File: 1529292521446.png (464 KB, 853x480) >>624196893 >>624197052 >>624201832 >>624205851 >>624190342 (OP) >back in high school >go on field trip >go to big food court after field trip >near the end of it, figure I'll just get a chocolate banana shake for the road, treat myself >sip in >just chocolate, none of that artificial Gros michel sweet banana taste >oh well, we gotta go, chocolate is fine >girlfriend demands some of my shake as her right >anon didn't you order chocolate banana I heard you say banana I don't taste banana >nah it's cool we're leaving anyway it's not like I lost money or anything >no we gotta get this fixed >tfw everybody else already on the bus >tfw walking out to a line of idling buses just waiting for us >tfw walking all the way to the back of the bus to our friend group with the shake that held everybody up Every time I see a "he asked for no pickles" picture I relive this.

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Phantom S--- 03/02/18(Fri) 13:32:59 No.43574613 I'm writing this right after this happened and I'm scared > Be me > Go to take a s--- > Physically feel s--- leave my ass > Look down for results > No s--- in the toilet bowl 39 KB JPG > whatthefuck.png Is my s--- haunted what the f---. Mandela effect? Help. I'm scared.

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Anon comes to a realization | /r/Greentext

Anonymous M 70 KB PNG 09/24/21(Fri)03:09:16 No.86370478 >incels think they are entitle to sex >commies think they're entitled to other people's money Are commies just economic incels?

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Anon is full of helpful advise, among other things | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 340 KB PNG : Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)21:57:43 No./1815207 >>71815555 # >haven't fapped in many days >horny af >decide to put things up my ass >just feels like I'm s------- and its really uncomfortable I fell for the meme : Anonymous >>71815207 (OP) # i'm gay, and tried fingering my ass (used lotion/albolene as lube two separate occassions) and it barely feels like anything for me. : Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)22:32:08 No.71815511 01/13/23(Fri)22:34:04 No.71815525 its feels *kinda* nice having something shoved up there but it's nothing that would make me c--. i've just accepted that i'm probably a top 01/13/23(Fri)22:37:20 No.71815554 01/13/23(Fri)22:37:22 No.71815555 : Anonymous >>71815525 # >fingering Of course you can't really feel anything, it's basically impossible to reach it with your fingers properly. If you guys are really opposed to buying a proper prostate massager (They're only $60), take a drum stick, put a condom on it, lube that up, and hit your prostate.

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The reason anon loves Japanese people | /r/Greentext

Yuji Sakai (Deceased) No. 10566850 false the reason i like japanese people is cause they have like really small eyes and stuff and i really like that cause i have a very small weird penis Your fortune: Average Luck 1 reply 2 posters

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ɹǝpun uʍop puɐl ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ sᴉ uou∀ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SvtK80i9) 02/16/16(Tu >live in Australia >someone tries to rob my house >notice his ground-harness is a bit rusty >throw boomerang at it >it breaks >laugh as he falls into the sun

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anon is a schizo-pilled sigma male | /r/Greentext

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Sweet dreams are made of this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HERSTE 78 KB JPG 01/14/23(Sat)17:01:17 No.71821264 > be me > troglodyte tier sleep schedule > fall asleep at ~05:00, wake ~14:00 > spend entire week trying to fix it using Monster energy and loud alarm clock > Think I actually fixed it > ffw to today > Got too comfy watching youtube in my couch > Fell asleep > Just woke 5min ago > My sleep schedule is now 09:00-17:00 > Mfw New semester starts this monday, I'm f-----. :<

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Anon needs enlightenment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 hours ago 10 REPLIES Anonymous 4 hours ago >onions image >thread hidden :) Anonymous 4 hours ago >>71816734 (OP) because the people who made him up needed labor during harsh conditions to continue living lavish lifestyles (for the time of course). 71816734 >If you kill yourself because your life is s---, you WILL spend the rest of eternity in Hell Why is he like this? Anonymous 4 hours ago >play game >game is hard 71816752 >quit game Does this look like winning? 71816761 Anonymous 4 hours ago >>71816734 (OP) I don't think it's 100% settled, but it makes sense. >You're committing the sin of taking a life >since you are taking your own life, there is no opportunity to repent and be forgiven for the sin also Christ said we need to endure till the end. >your life is s--- 71816766 the fact you have a phone/pc to post on the internet proves you have it better than millions of people on earth who are not suicidal. This is a YOU problem. What makes your life so terrible? No gf? Fat? What steps have you taken to improve your life? 2 REPLIES 71816769

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Anon realizes why LOTR is so good | /r/Greentext

File: ggggggggggggg.png (240 KB, 692x753) Gabriella Cázares-Kelly @GabriellaCKelly Rewatched the LOTR trilogy recently and my kid casually says, "this is the only scene where 2 women speak to each other in the whole trilogy." The exchange? A little girl says to Eowyn, "Where's Mama?!" Eowyn shushes her. "Shh!" End scene. Ouch. It also never occurred to me that 1:05 AM-12/20/22 5.2M Views 43.7K Likes 1,772 Retweets 1,274 Quote Tweets Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)18:39:20 No.179140228 [Reply] >>179147411 >>179147435 >>179147558 >>179140358 >>179140374 >>179140375 >>179140394>>179140399 >>179140426 >>179140456 >>179140482 >>179140490 >>179140783 >>179140785 >>179141391 >>179141828 >>179141879 >>179142159 >>179142187 >>179142458 >>179142517 >>179142597 >>179142698 >>179142898 >>179143016 >>179143080 >>179143129 >>179143134 >>179143227 >>179143276 >>179143419 >>179144075 >>179144208 >>179144278 >>179144319 >>179144385 >>179144425 >>179144536 >>179144561 >>179144847 >>179144883 >>179144933 >>179145249 >>179145659 >>179145709 >>179145840 >>179146225 >>179146544 >>179146986 Damn... Showing all replies. Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)18:41:37 No.179140313 >>179141549 >>179141975 >>179142205 >>179142247 >>179142861 >>179142941 >>179142983 >>179143002 >>179143235 >>179144104 >>179144127 >>179144152 >>179144175 >>179144197 >>179144319 >>179144456 >>179145482 >>179145485 >>179145517 >>179145590 >>179145649 >>179145709 >>179145752 >>179145797 >>179145806 >>179146577 No wonder it was so good

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Anon doesn't like god very much | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/14/23(Sat)06:43:55 No.71816734 >If you kill yourself because your life is s---, you WILL spend the rest of eternity in Hell Why is he like this?

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Anon finds attention seeker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Lmao 382 KB JPG 01/12/23(Thu)00:56:46 No.71788756 >be me >just lookingat my insta stories >see one girl asking for dm >surewhynot.png >goes well >i invite her to party >cant on that day >i change it to different day and place closer to her >doesnt like the place >change the place again >she likes it and agrees >almostthere.png >suddenly cancels >k nothing lost move on >be me few days ago >she makes a story again >calls herself forever single >Lmao I am not implying that i am some great Basedus Gigachadicus Maximums i am mostly average all in all but to cancel date at last second and then complain about it is just hilarious

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Anon gets cucked (repeatedly) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)19:39:28 No.592712407 >you text her back >"sure babe I'd love to watch a marvel movie or two." >text from unknown number >"Yo dont bother dawg." >picture of your gf holding up a full condom while covering her eyes with the other arm. 995 KB PNG i cant count how many times this has happened to me >>592712529 # >>592712597 # >>592713265 #

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Greentext Stories - Context: what op was replying to was a thread about why men want the, “he asked for no pickles” meme to be a reality for them. | /r/Greentext

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O Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri) 10:46:17 No.624196373 File: 1529292521446.png (464 KB, 853x480) >>624196893 >>624197052 >>624201832 >>624205851 >>624190342 (OP) >back in high school >go on field trip >go to big food court after field trip >near the end of it, figure I'll just get a chocolate banana shake for the road, treat myself >sip in >just chocolate, none of that artificial Gros michel sweet banana taste >oh well, we gotta go, chocolate is fine >girlfriend demands some of my shake as her right >anon didn't you order chocolate banana I heard you say banana I don't taste banana >nah it's cool we're leaving anyway it's not like I lost money or anything >no we gotta get this fixed >tfw everybody else already on the bus >tfw walking out to a line of idling buses just waiting for us >tfw walking all the way to the back of the bus to our friend group with the shake that held everybody up Every time I see a "he asked for no pickles" picture I relive this.

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