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2019-honda-civic-sedan-1558453497.jpg 21 KB JPG >get in >door closes >*VROOOOOOOM* >suddenly on a new place do you guys really believe in this

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anons all live sitcom character type lives I swear | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I commit nefarious acts 362 KB PNG 11/07/21(Sun)11:29:37 No.66059693 >coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around but secretly leaving lines on doors and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic View Thread

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DOCTORS HATE THIS SIMPLE TRICK | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:32:38 No.48253487 >>48253499 >>48253509 >>48253656 >>48253958 >>48254525 >>48255031 >>48255404 >>48255952 >>48255975 >>48256235 >>48257303 >>48257376 >>48257385 >>48258144 tips for getting the old willy turned on? might have a girl over tonight, i have a tendency to be soft. idk why. any tips please fit. i beg'mst tldr: boner hacks really. hold your dong in your hand in a cup like style and then close your hand and pulsate slowly. do this while sniffing from a cup of vinegar from your other hand. its f----- up, but the diffrent sensations takes your mind off of an expected result and while your brain is trying to figure out your autism, the boner should rise. >guy goes soft on me during sex >cantgetworsethanthis.png >he pulls out a bottle of vinegar from nightstand >pours it into a glass and holds it to his nose >starts taking long inhales it while grabbing his limp junk >fuckthisshit.exe >I start getting dressed >between inhales he keeps muttering "dammit fit"

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Anon wants a plush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I need a giant plush of rapidash that I can sit on nude and piss on! I need her to have a mount for a bad dragon sleeve so I can f--- her! I need her to be warmed from the inside, like a heated seat! I need her to be semi posable! >>53125783 # : Anonymous >>53125829 # >>53124972 # What's your price range? : Anonymous # >>53129815 # 01/30/23(Mon)00:02:45 : Anonymous >>53125783 # $5000USD or so. Over if it's necessary, but I'd like to stay around that. It has to support 1000lbs plus being f----- with that weight on top of it though. I'm only 400lbs, but I will have partners using it with me. I'd like to be able to insert toys in the mouth, ass, and p---- of the plush, and maybe have a removable c---. 35 KB JPG >>53125859 # >>53125926 # >>53126903 # >>53127365 # >>53127837 01/30/23(Mon)02:25:34 No.53125783 ******** 01/30/23(Mon)02:33:58 No.53125829 58 KB JPG No.53124972 >>53125881 # >>53126492 # 01/30/23(Mon)02:42:20 No.53125859 >>53125829 # >i'm only 400 pounds christ almighty anon >>53127446 # >>53125829 # >>53125829 # >>53128331 # >*STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* >*LAYS DOWN S----- SEWN TOGETHER LIFE SIZE RAPIDASH PLUSH* >I AM HEAVY PLUSH F----- >AND THIS... IS MY PLUSH >SHE WEIGHS 500 LBS AND CAN SUPPORT OVER 1000 LBS OF WEIGHT UPON IT AS I F--- THE S--- OUT OF IT >...IT COSTS $5000USD TO F--- THIS PLUSH... >...FOR 12 SECONDS >OH-HAH-HAH-HAHAHA *SNORT* HAHAHA HO HO но >... >OH MY GOD WHO TOUCH RAPIDASH? >ALRIGHT... >... >WHO TOUCH MY PLUSH?! >SOME PEOPLE THINK I'M OVERWEIGHT >MAYBE >*SNIFF* >MAYBE >I HAVE YET TO MEET ONE WHO CAN OVERWEIGH MY CONFIDENCE >*MUFFLED SOUNDS OF BED CREAKING* >WAAAHHHHH UWAHHHHHHH CRY SOME MOOOOORRREEE >*MUFFLED S----- STOCK HORSE NEIGH FROM THE VOICE BOX* >HEHEHE... CRY SOME MORE... >>53130196 # >>53130256 #

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Anon finds out why technological advancement is happening | /r/Greentext

1d (1/30 15:12) 91224072 190 Re - 28 Img JPG 108KB (1200 × 750) · 1 UblqmBcsbdhQovCRmmRJbQ.jpg 28 Replies JOAQUIN PHOENIX AMY ADAMS ROONEY MARA OLIVIA WILDE AND SCARLETT JOHANSSON her A SPIKE JONZE LOVE STORY >voice generation Al >chatbot Al >stable diffusion Al It's all coming together, isn't it? :

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Anon is large but not in charge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/11/22(Fri)23:41:12 No.176710605 ► (75 KB, 598x687) >>176711865 File: 88E04511-D643-4442-ACC4-6(...).jpg >character sits on the toilet >it doesn't break the second he sits on it Must be nice!

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The FAMAS looks fucken fire tho | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/22(Mon)20:01:00 No.70622710 148a.jpg 17 KB JPG >be french >made one gun that shoots 3 bullets at once >mag capacity is not divisible by 3

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Anon likes chicken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 231 KB JPG 10/26/21(Tue)08:40:35 No.65906654 >neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but I'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens

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Anon has a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

8 KB JPG > be on date with my girlfriend > she's foreign > took a flight down here for winter > we're hanging out in the park > she has a wierd twitter addiction > won't stop tweeting > ask her to stop and have a normal conversation > she looks me in the eyes and sends a tweet > get p----- off and scream at her > leave > feel bad about the breakup > buy a sandwich from Subway to make it up to her > eat fresh > get back to park > she's still there tweeting > call her name > toss pieces of toasted bread on the ground > she leans over and eats them > my girlfriend's a bird

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anon gets character development | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG 02/01/23(Wed)02:25:21 No.893606529 >Be me >Cringe degenerate furry >Into everything you'd expect a furry to be into (farts, feet, morbidly obese people) >Miraculously get a fat gf despite being one of the most autistic losers on earth >Tell her I want her to sit on my face >She does it >Immediately regret it because she's so heavy my skull is nearly crushed into pieces and I have to use my skinny arms just to stop some of her weight from going onto my skull >She accidentally farts and I can barely suppress the urge to vomit >"How was it?" >Don't have the balls to tell her it was horrible and upset her so I told her it was great >She wants to do it even more now >Immediately delete my furaffinity account and feel absolutely disgusted by all the gross things I've done on that awful site in the past few years Don't be a furry or a chubby chaser, bros. Don't make the same mistakes I did. It's not worth it

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BORN TO COOOOM 109 KB JPG 07/19/21 (Mon)13:26:45 No.859285379 >Graduated high school 6 years ago >Haven't spoken to my high school crush since >Check her Instagram every day >She has it on private and I can't see anything >Check today >It's set to public >Screenshot every photo >Check back a couple hours later >It's set back to private mfw I can bust to her photos again

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anon goes to school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 57 KB JPG 03/29/22(Tue)06:49:04 No.875305328 >be me >4th grade >old ass teacher lady is teaching >kid next to me won't stfu >he's got like ADHD on crack >teacher: "Please be quiet." x20 >kid is still talking and getting louder >teacher is getting visibly red, but still being semi polite. >kids starts dancing in his chair and singing some song at the top of his lungs. >teacher snaps >she grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. >she's starts screaming: " DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!" >She repeats that like 3 times, shaking him pretty hard. >other kids start crying. >ADHD kid is white as a sheet. >teacher goes back to teaching like nothing happened. >next day we have substitute >next 2 weeks parents, counselors, principal, vice principal, and superintendent are interviewing kids about what happened. >never see teacher again. >12 years later >ADHD kid is convicted of murder and on the run from the law.

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Anon gets a good nights sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 96 KB JPG 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Greentext Stories - Vroom vroom | /r/Greentext

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2019-honda-civic-sedan-1558453497.jpg 21 KB JPG >get in >door closes >*VROOOOOOOM* >suddenly on a new place do you guys really believe in this

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