23 KB JPG >be me >16 >go on my first adventure >go into a ditch which leads into the sewers >so far so good >hear grunts >whatthefuck.png >flash light towards the sound >I see two homeless men having the nastiest sex ever >I scream and they turn towards me >ohfuck.avi >Sprint outta there >go home and sit on bed trying to fathom what the F--- I just saw >mfw

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Anonymous 02/07/25(Fri)09:00:46 No.702351406 Overall, it is safer in our country - nobody will waylay you on your journey. And we treat women with greater respect and set great store by learning! Natsal Onal: I find wandless magic to be much more instinctive. Not to mention quite convenient if one is without their wand. humiliationrituals.png 1.73 MB PNG >dev inserts a black character randomly into the setting >proceeds to use them to talk down to the character >implies that western culture is inferior in some aspect >you can literally hear the dev cooming in the background as he gets a moral high off of doing this to you is there a term for this phenomenon?

File: download.jpg (6 KB, 318x159) Anti-Doge SHILLS and GLOWIES BTFO ETERNALLY Anonymous (ID: Y62GCO4K) E 02/06/25(Thu)16:34:47 No.496712462 >>496715886 >>496716354 >be me >lawyer, actually reads Trump's DOGE Executive Order >expecting some illegal power grab, but it's airtight >turns out Trump & Musk didn't create s----Obama did >Obama created United States Digital Service (USDS) in 2014 >was meant to fix Big Mike's t----- BFF's website after it launched as a flaming pile of DEI s--- >bureaucratic patch job to fix the Obamacare website meltdown >fast forward to 2025, Trump rebrands it DOGE (United States DOGE Service) >keeps the acronym, keeps the funding, but gives it a whole new mission: Find the Receipts >legally untouchable because it was already fully funded and operational >Trump invokes 5 USC 3161, which allows him to create temporary hiring authorities >DOGE teams get embedded inside every single federal agency >each team consists of a lawyer, HR rep,zoomer nerd, and an investigator >they report to DOGE, not the agency they're embedded in >but wait, there's more >Trump invokes 44 USC Chapter 35 which governs federal IT and cybersecurity oversight >since USDS was originally an IT oversight body, DOGE now has full access to all federal data systems >yes, all of them >executive order is written to block legal challenges >includes language that overrides conflicting executive orders >orders every agency to comply, refusing means they violate presidential authority >Congress can't defund it because it's not a new program, just a repurposed one >DOJ can't sue for overreach because Trump used existing laws exactly as written >Dems trying to file legal challenges, but they run into standing issues because DOGE operates within existing frameworks >Obama literally built the perfect Deep State IT backdoor >Trump & Musk just hacked the system and took the admin controls >Musk now has legal oversight of every major agency's internal systems the Deep State can't stop it without rewriting multiple federal laws >MFW they legally outplayed the system and there's nothing anyone can do about it >MFW Obama created DOGE

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Be me >Male nurse >Need pen >Check my front pocket >Find a rectal thermometer Some a------ has my pen. Settings Mobile Home 02/07/25(Fri)13:14:36 No.80292626 240 KB PNG Lähi- Apu

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Anon discovers socializing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 111 KB JPG 06/19/22(Sun)07:15:52 >friends forced me to go to a party >got drunk and actually made out with a girl for the first time No.69100659 i didnt even put any effort into talking with her, w--? im legit spamming parties until im no longer a virgin : Anonymous anon losing his virginity any% 06/19/22(Sun)07:19:01 No.69100678

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Anon has a VERY specific type... Part 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous vampire gf 89 KB JPG 02/06/23(Mon)22:39:21 No.72127973 Would you date a female vampire? >looks 15, but is actually 90 >was a romani jew that got sent to a labor camp during WW2 and somehow became a vampire and escaped >will live at your home cause she has none >will stay inside during daytime >pretty good at credit card and identity fraud so she can help with rent and bills >will go out and murder people for blood every couple weeks or so. prefers you not ask her about it >will also go out at night to break into mailboxes or cars for more fraud s--- >doesn't like being called a vampire, declares she isn't one >former vagrant who used to never stay in one place for long >longer she stays in the area more likely feds will start investigating her killings >can beat you in chess >likes shoegaze >knows how to skateboard fairly well >will kill anyone who tries to bring you harm >loves you >can fly >does not want to turn you into a vampire

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Anon wanted to help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/23(Tue)20:02:55 No.72133167 >Be me >Very depressed >Always in my room. Never help parents with house chores. >Decides to change things >Goes to the kitchen. Dad is cooking stew. I decide I'll help him. >He gives me the ingredients but I'm not sure what to do with them since I don't know how to cook 28 KB JPG >Asks him a question >He turns to face me and accidentally drops the broth >awshit.jpg >He starts shouting at me >"Anon this is your fault for being a useless p------------! Go back to your room!" I feel like s---. I just wanted to help.

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Anon goes head over heels for pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/23(Tue)08:42:32 No.72132709 1661627006410983.jpg 356 KB JPG >was 14 or 15 y/o >playing WoW >home alone / ordered pizza one weekend >*ding dong* at the door >wanted to get the pizza and get back to computer fast >bolt out of my room and try to run down stairs >slip and fall down the stairs very hard >got the wind knocked out of me, completely laid out >takes a bit of time to recover >hobble to the door, completely out of breath and can barely talk >tell the delivery guy sorry for taking so long while looking like I just ran a marathon, give him $20 and he leaves that's all, that really f------ sucked though. I was only like 5'5 and well over 200lbs at the time, so I took a pretty hard fall down like 12feet of stairs >>72132722 # >>72132730 #

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Anon thinks Batman is racist | /r/Greentext

File: 1340667601734.jpg-(103 KB, 394x600, Batman comic.jpg) Anonymous 06/25/12(Mon)19:40 No.38129422 Batman is a racist character, he himself is the archetypal white hero, with blue eyes no less. All his villains are caricatures of races and groups. The Penguin is a jew Hugo Strange is a psychiatrist and sociologist Poison Ivy is an environmentalisy lesbian Bane is a hispanic man with communist ideals The Joker is a representation of the criminal justice system and it just goes on and on and on Anonymous 06/25/12(Mon)19:44 No.38129606 File: 1340667876272.jpg-(81 KB, 576x534, 1320524999826.jpg) >Batman is racist because he is white and has blue eyes.

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Anon on zoomer girls. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 VV. 680 KB JPG 02/08/23(Wed)03:48:17 No.72136254 >22 >Demisexual >Pansexual >Atheist >Dyed hair Why are zoomer girls so appalling?

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Water is the essence of wetness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.73 MB PNG 07/05/21(Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >I show up thinking I'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me I'm hilarious >I get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time

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Anon did the impossible | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.09 MB GIF 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.8602 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree'

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anon hates the british | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 01/06/19(Sun)10:53:20 No.789251811 >be me >over the border racist >sleep with underage niece >hate the British for humiliating my country's people >cool mustache >spend a lot of time outside of said county >can give firebomb public speeches >write a book about how my people are oppressed >people favor me 4 Replies >rise to power >consider WW2 as the opening of opportunities >be Gandhi >pic unrelated View Thread

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Anon sees something he wasn’t supposed to see | /r/Greentext

>be 19 >alone in own house >house is grade Il listed building in england - at least 500 years old >cat and labrador keeping me company in living room >gets to midnight >start hearing foxes out in garden scratching and screaming (foxes scream like banshees - that's the sound a fox makes) >suddenly they stop >cat and labrador raise heads and look toward garden window >lab growling, cat just stares >something scratching at front door >stops scratching >hear knocks a couple of times >notleavingmyseat.avi >hear the letterbox being opened >something being pushed through it >shut room door and bolt it the f--- shut >thing outside starts growling >weird lights at window >hear it rubbing up at house walls >close curtains and blinds >turn off room lights >turn on outdoor lights >see outline >s--- self >immediately dig out ecstasy and take tablet >ferociously message friend on Facebook >call police >say "f------ monster in garden pls send help" >lab is going crazy at this point, whining and burying its face in the sofa >cat is in my lap, under dressing gown >thing outside is quadruped, bout the size of a car >neighbour yells out to shut the f--- up >presumably sees it >nopes the f--- back in and calls police >apparently police don't ignore two separate prank calls >police car shows up >officer sees thing in driveway >thing in driveway sees officer >thing f---- off over hedge >friend pulls up, runs to door >officer screaming for backup, can hear him s------- himself >feeling effects of drug now, don't care >open living room to door to let friend in >arse end of fox with entrails sticking out lying on floor >open door for friend >spend entire rest of night telling terrified officer I like him and he's a good man, while officer struggling to calm down >unmarked vehicles show up a few hours later >fix damage to wall and porch roof >clean up inside >offer to overlook drugs possession in return for silence >friend and me say sure

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Anon is a deep thinker | /r/Greentext

74 KB JPG One day, someone will think about you for the last time in eternity. You will be forgotten by the world and the universe.

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Anon forgot to take his meds again | /r/Greentext

768x1024) ☐/fit/ Mire thread Anonymous 01/12/23(Thu)13:13:19 No.69569408 [Reply] >pull day >doing my usual set of deadlifts >start warming up >2pl8 >3pl8 >3.5 >I notice a guy and his gf start using the nearby leg press >start loading up 4pl8 >guy looks in disbelief that I can lift it >both him and his gf watch as I lift 4pl8 >dude looks visibly upset >caught his gf looking at my crotch later

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Greentext Stories - Anon could’ve joined | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

23 KB JPG >be me >16 >go on my first adventure >go into a ditch which leads into the sewers >so far so good >hear grunts >whatthefuck.png >flash light towards the sound >I see two homeless men having the nastiest sex ever >I scream and they turn towards me >ohfuck.avi >Sprint outta there >go home and sit on bed trying to fathom what the F--- I just saw >mfw

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