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Greentext Stories - Anon doesn't like heliocentrism | /r/Greentext

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Heliocentrism >be me >be a stupid noob >be 10 yo Geocentrism >be in public school >get taught the galileo fairy tale about the evil church suppressing the herioic genius scientist >be angry at church for being evil >become atheist as revenge >anti-authoritarian as f >academic performance falters >be a total badass, no rules, eventually start dealing drugs in high school, using high iq alone to evade the law >steal a maserati just for the f--- of it one day, drive it around until its almost out of gas >barely graduate high school >still manage to get into college on strength of SAT/ ACT performance >college is legitimately intellectually challenging/ stimulating, get 4.0 back for the first time since early elementary school >study physics >learn aspects of the galileo tale in greater detail >realize its all just coordinate swaps >read galileo trial documents >galileo's argument: heliocentrism is real because i'm not good enough at math to understand coordinate system swaps >pontif's argument: geo and helicentrism is the same s---, its just coordinate swaps bro, teach both versions if you like, teach lunarcentrism too if you want, but don't attempt to discredit the bible with an ignorant, singleminded focus on heliocentrism >pontif (also serving as judge and jury): i win, galileo is permab& because he is too retarded to be allowed in pubic >realize i'd been duped into a life of crime by intentionally misleading public school lies why did they do this to me? 11m (2/13 10:11) · 15199246 We should go back to epicycles, its got so much more panache than gravitational models of the solar system. OP picrel right just looks better than left

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