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1. #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon is ngmi | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: BfUgJzoU) 04/15/23(Sat)15:46:35 No.423656600 File: 1681048869693103.jpg (28 KB, 320x252) >>423655190 # Free braps

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Anon’s friend is only gay ironically | /r/Greentext

Anonymous halp 317 KB PNG 04/16/23(Sun)06:44:53 No.28762554 >be me >friend in gc introduces new in-joke >we all ironically post s--- related to one specific emo artist's gay ass oc >one of my friends picks out the actual f------ gayest image as his pfp >for ironic purposes fastforward literally one single day >says he won't change it >says he's grown attached to the pfp >will not stop "ironically" stating he'd like to have sex with the character in question >pic related whaddafuck do i do

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Anon lives in a (modern) society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/23(Sun)00:37:10 No.897674146 45 KB JPG >dating apps where I have f----- bitches of more variety than 99% princes of the past >advanced transportation by which I have explored more than any explorer of the past >upper middle class life that gives me car, house, phone, tv, ac, heat, food etc luxuries that surpass past royal lifestyles >immigrants that bring foods from around the globe within walking distance, better diet than any king of the past >healthcare system that will keep my fatass alive till 90 >freedoms to live as I please, speak as I please, do as I please It is unbelievable how incredibly blessed our lives are, gents And yet, I am more depressed than most starving bricklayers in Africa. I am so f------ mentally and emotionally drained that I want to kms What the f---

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Anon realises he is a Cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 03/04/23(Sat)14:48:41 No.72445403 >walk outside my flat this morning >hear someone call me a cuck >turn around and look to see who said that >nobodys there >hear the same voice >cuck cuck >look up >its f------ picrel what the f---

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Anon can't wait | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 241 KB PNG 03/19/23(Sun)17:11:05 No.72628866 >be 18 >have to go to army next year >study construction for 5 years after that (assuming I'm taken in) >then maybe get a job in my field can't wait to start actually doing things six or seven f------ years from now

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Anon snaps back to reality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous When did you realize you were (...) 17 KB PNG 04/13/23(Thu)20:10:55 No.72945442 >Be me back in 11th grade >Use Snapchat >Some girl creates a geostory where anyone can post a pic/video on there as long as they are on campus >Friend posts random pic of classroom >273 views, gets 40+ people adding him, including lots of girls >I post a random pic of classroom >273 views, no one adds me

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Anon has his own thread | /r/Greentext

R: 2/1: 1 THIS IS MY F------ THREAD AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY F------ NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT ITS MINE

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Anon needs a workout schedule! | /r/Greentext

>be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt

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Anon is a master manipulator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 102 KB JPG 04/16/23(Sun)09:02:06 No.72972552 >be me >2018, 22 yo >thinking about how Im a master manipulator >believe I can force people into killing themselves >hear about r9k, never visited 4chan before >think how these people deserve to die and should be my test subjects >start reading their posts to analyse my test subjects >get into more and more posts >hmm.exe these people make some good points >end up a radicalised right winger after being a leftoid cuck Mfw attempt at manipulation turned into me being manipulated

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Anon doesn’t understand aging | /r/Greentext

We should get WASTED W S T 55 KB JPG >be 20 >drink 15 shots in a night, stay up until 7am, eat nothing >no hangover >be 21 >drink four f------ tallboys in an entire night, eat salty food and carbs >wake up dead why does turning 21 destroy your hangover capacity

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Anon screws up interaction with a girl | /r/Greentext

I f----- up from a potential gf ;( #1, No. 28761993 4/15/23 9:29:02 PM 2b528f5b8b1cad7fbe5476d68b5f96d6 JPG 420x420 20.3 kB >Be me, 21 M Law School Graduate. Looking for a job. >Getting really close to this girl from Uni, she's 9/10. >We chat in discord and whatsapp for about 5 months, hang out together. >Really close to f------ her. >One day she calls me, she seems drunk and is crying I ask her whatsup. >She told me that she was sexually harrased by her dad when she was in middleschool to highschool. >Her dad is dead and she said she loves him so she's confused. >Autism brain initate. >Gets bored asf in the convo don't care about her problem just wanna bang. >Ask in discord server how to GTFO from a convo without looking weird bcuz convo is so boring. >Forgot she's in the discord. She replied "Okay I get it" and hangs up. >mfw >She never talks to me again. Been 2 weeks. >How do I recover from this?

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Anon just wants Taco Bell | /r/Greentext

>go get taco bell with mobile app >Take a large dose of tramadol >Realize wrong order >Go back wait another 30 min in line, getting angry >Calmly explain they gave the wrong order >They ask for receipt show them the emailed receipt >Says it's not a receipt and won't make my order >Consciousness shifts and become irate, say to call the cops because I'm not moving >Eventually they remake but I know it's spat in so I throw it out and cry my eyes out, whaling I just wanted a comfy start to my weekend, I rarely get fast food anymore let alone taco bell because they're usually not open after I get out of work or are only serving breakfast, but I had a half day today and was looking forward to it since yesterday I hate this, taco bell is sitting there in my trash but I can't eat it. At least I got my Baja freeze Worst part is since they remade it, I can't try to do a charge back or rather I could but I'm not lying to my credit card company

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Greentext Stories - Visiting Mexico | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

1. #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place

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