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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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BITCH MUMMY BETRAYS HER GOOD LITTLE BOY! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO raaaaaaaaaar.png, 228KiB, 858x725 Anonymous Tue 27 Feb 2018 13:47:25 No.43512143 >alarm goes off >"REEEE REEE REEE, oh, it's just my alarm" >bitch mom forces me to have one so i don't sleep past 1 >remember it's tendie tuesday >a smug grin cracks into my face >heave 460lb body out of bed and zoom down stairs >catch mummy just as she's about to leave >"MUMMY IT'S TENDIE TUESDAY GET ME TENDIES OR YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ME AGAIN" >she winces and sheds a tear knowing how close she was >"a-anon, i'm already late i have to go or mr. sheckleburg wil-" >she already sees me nervously whining >"sorry anon i have to go" >charge her but the bitch dodges and flees to her room and locks the door >i run up to it and pound on it >YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL, BITCH YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL FOR ABUSING YOUR LITTLE BOY REEEEEEE WHEN I GET IN THERE YOU ARE F------ DEAD, DO YOU HEAR ME, BITCH!? DEAD! >pass out from too much exercise >wake up, she's gone >groan, scream and tear the carpet out as i lay on the floor in despair >plan to get back at her with what little sense i have in my primal rage >throw that idea out, decide if i play nice good boy she'll reward me with tendies >put blanket over torn carpet outside her room >throw piss bottles out >here the door jiggling >put on my best good boy smile and wait for her to open it >two cops walk in with her >"that him?" >trying to contain the rage in me >"yer gonna come with us son?" >"yes, take him away please for god's sake" >teehee! who are these men, mommy? >cry and kick but they muscle me to the car anyway >three days pass and i stay in an institute >get to go home with mommy >she curses under her breath about them "not holding me further" >give her the papowee of a life time when we get home >her head cracked on the tile floor and she wouldn't get up >eventually the landlord came and found her View Report >authority's find me hiding behind couch, crying >have to go to a trial, they make me dress funny >court ruled that i was innocent and had me plea insanity >get sent to a home with other special people >THERE ARE NO TENDIES HERE >mfw

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Subscribe to my OnlyDudes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (bKum6BRZ) ♬ 04/16/23(Sun)10:45:15 No.423757057 >>423743679 (OP) # If the gender roles were somehow flipped entirely, which is impossible because biology, it would actually be based as f---. >Be man >Expected to sit at home and do whatever you want >Have hordes of women after you even if you are ugly, fat or retarded (remember that 99% of men will f--- anything that moves and is living so flip that around to women) >Paid for dates >Get cat-called in public if you're >5/10 (Oh no someone called me hot the horror!) >If you want extra money just sell d--- pics on onlydudes for thousands of dollars Reminder that this is the life most women have and they still complain >>423757529 # >>423759213 #

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Anon is going home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CydB7V00 04/13/23(Thu)15:38:42 No.54579980 1681268521155929.jpg 76 KB JPG >lost my $200k job so they could keep the H1Bs during cuts >"you'll land on your feet" >nobody is hiring >apartment complex raising rent and I have to move back in with my mom in another state

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Visiting Mexico | /r/Greentext

1. #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place

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Anon is ngmi | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: BfUgJzoU) 04/15/23(Sat)15:46:35 No.423656600 File: 1681048869693103.jpg (28 KB, 320x252) >>423655190 # Free braps

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Anon’s friend is only gay ironically | /r/Greentext

Anonymous halp 317 KB PNG 04/16/23(Sun)06:44:53 No.28762554 >be me >friend in gc introduces new in-joke >we all ironically post s--- related to one specific emo artist's gay ass oc >one of my friends picks out the actual f------ gayest image as his pfp >for ironic purposes fastforward literally one single day >says he won't change it >says he's grown attached to the pfp >will not stop "ironically" stating he'd like to have sex with the character in question >pic related whaddafuck do i do

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Anon lives in a (modern) society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/23(Sun)00:37:10 No.897674146 45 KB JPG >dating apps where I have f----- bitches of more variety than 99% princes of the past >advanced transportation by which I have explored more than any explorer of the past >upper middle class life that gives me car, house, phone, tv, ac, heat, food etc luxuries that surpass past royal lifestyles >immigrants that bring foods from around the globe within walking distance, better diet than any king of the past >healthcare system that will keep my fatass alive till 90 >freedoms to live as I please, speak as I please, do as I please It is unbelievable how incredibly blessed our lives are, gents And yet, I am more depressed than most starving bricklayers in Africa. I am so f------ mentally and emotionally drained that I want to kms What the f---

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Anon realises he is a Cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 03/04/23(Sat)14:48:41 No.72445403 >walk outside my flat this morning >hear someone call me a cuck >turn around and look to see who said that >nobodys there >hear the same voice >cuck cuck >look up >its f------ picrel what the f---

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Anon can't wait | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 241 KB PNG 03/19/23(Sun)17:11:05 No.72628866 >be 18 >have to go to army next year >study construction for 5 years after that (assuming I'm taken in) >then maybe get a job in my field can't wait to start actually doing things six or seven f------ years from now

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Anon snaps back to reality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous When did you realize you were (...) 17 KB PNG 04/13/23(Thu)20:10:55 No.72945442 >Be me back in 11th grade >Use Snapchat >Some girl creates a geostory where anyone can post a pic/video on there as long as they are on campus >Friend posts random pic of classroom >273 views, gets 40+ people adding him, including lots of girls >I post a random pic of classroom >273 views, no one adds me

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Anon has his own thread | /r/Greentext

R: 2/1: 1 THIS IS MY F------ THREAD AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY F------ NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT ITS MINE

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Anon needs a workout schedule! | /r/Greentext

>be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt

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Greentext Stories - Anon trolls someone on Reddit | /r/Greentext

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