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Anonymous 05/14/23(Sun) 06:42:18 No.58192874 ► >>58192921 >>58192953 >>58193006 >>58193534 >>58193592 >>58193779 >>58195062 File: Gauacamole n---- penis.jpg (240 KB, 1026x770) Guacamole Ni99a Penis >>58191016 # k---- here, there actually was an old man in my town who was a survivor of D-Day. I asked him once when he was at the library looking a book for his grandchildren what it was like. He basically said something along the lines of >get shelled for like five hours straight, two guys who were caught outside going to the bathroom were basically turned into red mist staining the cement >before the first American boats had even reached the shore, everyone in the bunker had already uniamously voted to surrender >stick white flag made from someone's handkerchief out of machine gun port as soon as the first American soldier shows up, never fired a shot >get shipped off to England, spend the next three years making shipping crates (le comprehend the incomprehensible) >piss off Nazi parents by bringing back Jewish girl who had fled Germany before the war as a bride

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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>his waifu doesn't have access to a fleet of private satellites so that she can track a singular person anywhere on the planet and then call in her private B-52 to firebomb half of Afghanistan

Anonymous Failed shopping attempt 105 KB JPG 03/29/25(Sat) 07:38:26 No.80793301 They should stop hiring attractive women as sales associates in men's clothing shops. >be me >trying to buy shoes in a sneakers shop >needed to ask one of their workers to bring out a pair in my size >all the workers, besides one older dude, are attractive girls of my age >feel uncomfortable, but wait till that guy isn't busy and ask him >try the shoes on, it's not a great fit, want to ask for a different size >the guy is now nowhere to be seen >assemble all my courage and ask one of the female workers >8/10 beaty >"yeah, sure..." a bit of annoyance can be heard in her voice and the look of disgust isn't fully hidden on her face >"actually nevermind" >leave the shop F--- I HATE BEING LOOKED AT WITH DISGUST. Most likely would have bought something, if they hadn't decided to hire those Stacies View Thread

Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

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Anon forgot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)22:51:13 No.68347881 >go in public >see guys that are uglier than me with girlfriends >see guys that are more out of shape than me with girlfriends >see guys that worse dressed than me with girlfriends 75 KB JPG >even see guys that are shorter than me with girlfriends Is "self improvement" pointless? I just feel like I'm cursed to be alone forever, even though I have a lot going for me I still can't seem to attract a woman, even though inferior men seem to have no problem doing so 04/23/22(Sat)23:02:16 No.68347884 Anonymous >>68347881 (OP) You forgot the part of self improvement where you work on your personality.

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Anon predicts the Zelda movie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/14/23(Sun)03:41:51 No.637150882 >>637149803 (OP) # >legend of zelda movie >zelda is captured by ganon >link is planning a sneak attack on ganon >he trips and crashes through the 118 KB PNG ceiling, landing on his ass >navi rolls her eyes and sighs, cue audience laughter >ganon starts beating the link over the head with his bbc >link drops the master sword >zelda looks in and laughs >"finally, just the distraction i need" >zelda retrieves the master sword in the chaos, and the sword begins to glow. >navi gasps "can she be? the true wielder of the master sword?!" >"alright boys, play time's over." >she blasts both ganon and link with a beam of light, which eviscerates them both >>637151156 # >the people of hyrule begin to celebrate as ganon's forces begin to disappear from the realm >link peels himself off the ground bloody and bruised and approaches zelda >"zelda, i've come so far to tell you... I love-" >a goron smashes through the wall and tramples link. "Princess, I got here as soon as I could!" >"Oh Tyrunia.... I'm so hungry...I could eat an octorok," >Zelda begins deepthroating the goron's giant futa c--- and rides it, squirting her p---- juice over link's bloodied face as he weaps screenshot this, it's gonna happen

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Anon goes on r/twoxchromosomes | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (136 KB, 758x676) r/TwoXChromosomes by HarperPee. 1 day ago I had a realization that I don't want to have a boyfriend ever again I'm 29 and I've been single for 4 years. I've experienced love, I've met amazing men, I had a slut phase where I didn't give a s--- about anyone. Now I'm ready for an equal partner. I started dating someone and I've realized how much emotional labor I have to do even though he's great. This will always be an issue for as long as I date men. The last few months I've had so many negative thoughts and feelings about dating. I've tried to intellectualize my feelings, be flexible, tolerant, accomodating. But recently I decided to stop intellectualizing and just be present and accepting, and it's led me to a huge realization. I've gotten everything I'm ever going to get from dating men. The desire simply isn't there for me anymore and I need to listen to that. I can't date men without abandoning myself. I have this overwhelming gut instinct that I will never have a boyfriend again and frankly I am completely relieved. Edit: there are a lot of very upset little boys in my DMs and comments. This is why I won't date y'all. Regarding "that's not what emotional labor is" - what isn't? I didn't describe the emotional labor I'm doing in this post. ↑ 13K ↓ Sort by: Best 2.4K ↑ Share 2.4K comments Women are taking the blackpill Anonymous 05/14/23(Sun)09:24:11 No.73314351 [Reply] >>73314578 >>73314808 Women are increasingly refusing to date anyone because their standards are so insanely high, these are the same people who deride MGTOW as "misogynist" but when they want to go their own way it's "empowering" and "feminist"? Is it any wonder that western birthrates are so low? https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/13gdt8q/i_had_a_realization_that_i_dont_want_to_have_a/

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Anon committed a critical error. | /r/Greentext

230 KB JPG eight years >Me and friend walking to class >Friend says "We're really late" >Autism kicks into overdrive >"You're mom's late" >His mom's been dead for

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Anon shares a memory from his time as a wageslave at Wendy's. | /r/Greentext

File: pepe-cringe-face-camera.png (132 KB, 597x418) What are some horrible memories you have from work? These threads are interesting. Anonymous 12/24/20 (Thu)15:34:27 No.61537508 ► >Be me >Wageslave working at Wendys the summer prior to my senior year. > Everyone is an a------ to each other in the store, except me for some reason. >So many damn variations of cups for drinks >Group of cups for ice cream, soda, the lemonade, etc... >Same as the f------ chicken. >Walk in one day at 3:00 >Get me a Large Coca Cola Vanilla >Go to the Fry Station to relieve the poor f--- thats there. >Dude flees out the store in happiness >JustAnotherMotherfuckingDayInHell.jpeg >Start talking to the burger cook >Dude flips a burger and sets it in the far end corner of the grill. >Around 5 and the same f------ burger is still there >Start talking to the cook saying that that burger is too old, and cant use it >For some reason, couldn't use burger meat after 15 minutes of being cooked. >It was well over 3 hours old by this point. >he says "Don't worry, im gonna eat it" >By this point, due to the heat, its all charred and f------ coiled and caked it old grease that's been caked to the back wall for well over 10 years. >Dude never ate it >Exactly at 8:55 at the last minute before closing, some dude comes through the drive thru and orders a Large Chili >Grill always got shut off at 8:50 >Manager starts complaining because there's hardly any hamburger meat in the Chili >F------ burger cook hands him that 7 hour old f------ hamburger and puts it in the chili >I start sayi that the burger is well over 4 hours old and to not f------ use it. >I get cut off and told to shut the f--- up. >By this point it was just a charred piece of its former self >Manager breaks it up, doesnt even take off the chunks of decade old grease that fell onto it from the wall, and stirs it in the chili where the customer couldn't see and hands it to the customer. I left the next day and haven't ate at a Wendy's since. This was in 2019, and i still cringe thinking about it to this day. [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] [Post a Reply]

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Anon doesn't believe in genetics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/22(Thu)11:45:56 No.70046146 33 KB JPG >be balding >"it's because you're using s--- shampoo!" >Change shampoo >Still balding >"it's because shampoos are chemicals, stop using shampoo!" >Use shampoo only twice or thrice a week, went nopoo for a week once >still balding >"it's because of your diet and lack of exercise" >change diet and start working out >still balding >drive across homeless area in the city >almost all of them have thick ass hairs that sunlight can't even penetrate I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE

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Anon wears silly socks | /r/Greentext

File: c000b94e8d41943e4b758bb02(...).jpg (99 KB, 1200x1200) Anonymous 03/02/23(Thu)16:28:37 No.895253690 [Reply] most cringe shot you did in high school? i'll start >be me, 13 in school >got laughed at for wearing some dumb-ass novelty socks once >decide to make it my personality trait to get people to laugh with me not at me >spend $1000+ over a couple years just on my quest for the most absurd socks >dad left cash for me before he died specifically for my to get driving lessons but i blew though this on socks >people would walk past me in the corridor and say "hey its weird sock guy!" or "hey, show us your socks" >would pull my pants leg up as i stomped as hard as i could on the ground to do my big sock unveiling and people would laugh >fastforward 10 years >on a date in a bar with 3.14 qt >hear from the corner of the bar "hey its retarded sock guy" >5 chads from high school and ask to see my socks and tell my date how everyone used to laugh at me for my retarded socks >try to explain to qt that i wasnt bullied casue i wore funny socks on purpose as a joke >never hear from qt again

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A reward for wagies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)07:24:51 No.73296835 Stress Relief Pop three stress relief bbles whenever necessary. Repeat as needed. www.HoJosTeachingAdventures.com B9AC402C-90C6-4DAE-9ADA-DCD3337FA12C.jpg 1.34 MB JPG This how wagies are rewarded

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Anon arms himself against intruders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/14/12(Wed)22:41 No.13361512 Replies: >>13361567 >>13361703 >>13361977 File: 1352950860920.jpg-(130 KB, 400x400, 1348211983351.jpg) >Be house-sitting for my aunt while she's in Yurop for my cousin's art gallery or some s---. >Aunt lives in a sort of bad part of town in a beautiful mother f------ Victorian built in the 1860's >Bring AR with me to house-sit for a week because what the f--- would the point be if I wasn't armed? >Fading in and out of sleep on couch one night. >Hear window in basement shatter. >Insta awake. >Insta on feet. >AR in hands, flashlight on >Go into basement slowly. >Tactically slicing pie with light on strobe. >Nothing in basement. >Look for broken window or glass or something. >Nothing. >Suddenly the scream of 1000 burning humans fills my ear as if it were 3 inches away from my head. >I'm talking banshee status, I freaked the mother f--- out, ND'd into the staircase and ran upstairs, out of the house and stood on the sidewalk for a good hour. >Eventually grow balls and grab phone from kitchen and call Aunt. >"Is this place hanuted?" >"Oh yeah, never go in the basement if you hear glass break" >Mfw. Turned out the guy that built the house tortured his wife or something down there and beat her and neglected her until she died of starvation or some s---.

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Anon plays football | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 05/14/23(Sun)01:43:50 No.733 >Be me 12 years old >Playing football with my bros >crushing them 8:1 >Say "we are getting them by the mouth and ass" >Turn around >mfw there's a teacher there

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Anon is an AVGN fan | /r/Greentext

SONIC SONIC THE HEDGEHOF 06.jpg 87 KB JPG >*eerie music starts* >No... No not this game... I promised myself I'd never review it- >*evil alter ego enters screen* >It is your destiny to play s----- games YouTube Video Game Reviewer >*channel theme song starts*

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anon writes a poem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/14/23(Sun)02:32:21 No.899236475 >Be in 3rd grade >bored >write poem with friend about killing ppl >Killing killing is so fun, >Killing killing everyone, >and so on >talk about killing nursery rhyme n----- like humpty dumpty >All the king's horses and all the king's men, >Couldn't put him back together, >Because we killed them! >show poem to librarian >she laughs nervously and says she loves it >ffw an hour >in principal's office with cop >have to talk to shrink for like a year >parents act weird around me for a while >mfw I dont like killing ppl irl it was a joke for chrissakes I grew up with GTA vice city, why was everyone acting like this behavior wasn't normal?

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Greentext Stories - Anon talks to a German veteran | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 05/14/23(Sun) 06:42:18 No.58192874 ► >>58192921 >>58192953 >>58193006 >>58193534 >>58193592 >>58193779 >>58195062 File: Gauacamole n---- penis.jpg (240 KB, 1026x770) Guacamole Ni99a Penis >>58191016 # k---- here, there actually was an old man in my town who was a survivor of D-Day. I asked him once when he was at the library looking a book for his grandchildren what it was like. He basically said something along the lines of >get shelled for like five hours straight, two guys who were caught outside going to the bathroom were basically turned into red mist staining the cement >before the first American boats had even reached the shore, everyone in the bunker had already uniamously voted to surrender >stick white flag made from someone's handkerchief out of machine gun port as soon as the first American soldier shows up, never fired a shot >get shipped off to England, spend the next three years making shipping crates (le comprehend the incomprehensible) >piss off Nazi parents by bringing back Jewish girl who had fled Germany before the war as a bride

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