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File: 20230529_161511.jpg (33 KB, 400x400) Please be patient I have autism greentexts thread Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:04:58 No.73492199 >>73492215 >>73492306 >>73492465 >>73492502 >be me >have large tongue >one day walking home from work >see parked white van >lick the passenger side rearview mirror clean for no particular reason >hear loud "HEY! >mfw i didnt see the dude on the driver seat >runlikehell.exe >yell at him to stop >he starts running off >cant be bothered to chase him >actually feel kinda bad for him cabt be >finally reach my house >reflect upon what i just did i still have no idea why did that >> Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:17:33 No.73492306 >>73492199 (OP) >be normal dude >drive white van for work Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:06:33 No.73492215 >>73492199 (OP) you are a very special boy anon >park your van to call your wife >some retard gets near my van >yfw he starts licking the rearview mirror like its ice cream >>73492199 (OP) inb4 this is posted on plebbit >> Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:36:07 No.73492465 File: bca.jpg (130 KB, 750x1252)

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon attempts to flirt | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:39:54 No.73492502 >>73493200 >>73492199 (OP) >be me >freshman in high-school >like a nerdy girl who wears soul eater shirts to school >decide I want to date her >put notes in her backpack saying she's cute >constantly stare at her >eventually she tells me I'm bring creepy >I still stare at her in class Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)12:57:28 No.73493200 >>73492502 why didnt you stop staring staring at her

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Xmas dinner doing it's thing | /r/Greentext

: onymous de 7 KB JPG 3 Replies 12/26/18(Wed)16:52:57 No.50053486 >try to s--- >break toilet View Thread : Anonymous >>50053486 (OP) # you should s--- outside like the animal you are! fat f--- 12/26/18(Wed)17:00:43 No.50053588

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Anon asks the experts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 3 Replies 05/27/23(Sat)01:47:30 No.899935439 I want to f--- my cute brown neighbors 20 year old butthole but I'm 32 years old. How do I accomplish this without creeping her out because of the age gap? >>899935589 # View Thread : Anonymous >>899935439 (OP) # >Hmm I want to have sex with a woman? Who should I ask? >Of course, 4chan is famous for having lots of sexually experienced people! Just do everyone a favor and jump off a bridge 05/27/23(Sat)01:49:28 No.899935510

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Anons discuss their pooping habits | /r/Greentext

File: 1634049849025.jpg (587 KB, 1200x1200) O my very own pooping blog Anonymous 05/08/23 (Mon)08:19:01 No.122828 i did not poop today hopefully i will poop tomorrow Showing all replies. >> Anonymous 05/08/23 (Mon)13:03:04 No.122830 ok >> Anonymous 05/08/23 (Mon)20:41:34 No.122832 ► yes >> Anonymous 05/09/23(Tue)00:08:42 No.122841 i pooped today >> Anonymous 05/09/23(Tue)18:09:57 No.122846 ► just pooped >> Anonymous 05/09/23(Tue)22:31:10 No.122847 ► >>122849 i'm not op but i'm gonna have a poo right now >> Anonymous 05/10/23(Wed)02:58:29 No.122849 ► >>122851 >>122847 good work >> D Anonymous 05/10/23(Wed)04:14:45 No.122851 >>122849 thanks it was an alright poo

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Anon has some choice words for Home Depot | /r/Greentext

File: homedepotcartproblems.jpg (1.63 MB, 1528x1466) Home Depot Horror Stories Vol.1 Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)23:03:15 No.73487422 >Be me >Work at Home Depot as a Lot Associate >Grab carts and help customers. Not a hard job, but it can be frustrating. >About six months ago, management gets more shopping buggies. >Like, a LOT more. >The old, worn-out buggies are put in the corral in the middle of the lot. Managers tell me a scrap company will pick them up by next week. >Weeks pass, but scrap company doesn't come. Managers tell me they must've flaked, so the carts are moved to the corral over on the edge of the lot. >Unfortunately, we discover the new carts are very s-----. The metal bends out of shape easily, and they're a bitch to keep together and get undone. >They're so bad the customers end up preferring the old carts to the new ones. >Not a huge deal. It takes longer to get the job done, but customers like having more carts, so its manageable for me. >Then a couple months later, management decides to get more lumber carts. >(For those who don't know, lumber carts are the bigger ones that are designed for transporting heavier stuff like planks and concrete, s--- like that.) >In a moment of genius, management also gets more pallets of concrete and line them up underneath the canopy in front of the lumber department, the same time the new lumber carts come in. >It was under the canopy we usually store the lumber carts. >So now we have to store most of the new lumber carts in the corrals in the back of the lot. Now they're all full 24/7. >Even worse, customers are putting their buggies in these corrals, and there's no room. During busy hours, the buggies and carts overflow into the parking lot. (Pic related.) >Customers don't even use the extra lumber carts! >On most days now I'm so overwhelmed I can't even finish my job on time. >I complain to management about the situation, but they dismiss me every time. >Other Lot Associates keep quitting. Never enough people. >F--- this job.

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At least there was no flash. | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 : Anonymous Whats the most humiliating exp(...) 4 60 KB JPG ▼ Settings Mobile Home 05/24/23(Wed)01:07:11 No.73427720 >be me >loser working s----- retail job >work with a 6ft tall goth girl >shes beautiful and sweet >kind of have flirty convos with her >finally ask her on a date >immediately says she has a bf >die a little on the inside >a few weeks later he comes in to the store. Riding a Harley. Drops off food for her. >model tier good looks but has a scar over his eyebrow and a bit of his face >good shape, tattoos all over and long hair >notice the guy is SHORTER than her >he picks her up with one arm and kisses her >after he leaves all the dumb girls I work with swoon over him >goth girl tells everyone how he was a Marine and now in sales or something. He makes a bunch of money >one of the girls ask if hes good in bed >goth girl deflects but finally breaks down >I listen but pretend to not notice all the girls >says his d--- is huge >he doesnt disappoint >girls squeal >try to talk a little s--- on him >immediately she gets p----- and says hes better than you in every way and to not talk about her boyfriend >says he would kick my ass >feel like s--- and totally emasculated >he comes in another day to bring her a coffee >driving a Ford Raptor >the only reason I knew it was a raptor was because of the graphics on the side of the truck >he stays a little and chats with my goth oneitis >decide to go up and introduce my self to him >honestly really nice and charming >hate him for it 05/24/23(Wed)01:13:12 No.73427773 : Anonymous >>73427720 (OP) # >decide to get some creep shots of her to at least get some pics to j------- too >snap a pic but I left my sound on >camera shutter click resonates through the quiet store >she ask what that was >wont say and deny >all the girls at the store tell me how creepy I am >they tell me I am an ugly weirdo and probably a virgin >my oneitis GF is screaming at me >she reports me and I get fired >find her a few years later and stalk her insta >her and that guy now have two kids >feel utterly cucked >moved back in with parents I want to die lads

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Anon picked the shortest straw in life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)05:56:57 No.73487887 44 KB JPG > Be me > Tuesday > At train station waiting for my train to come > Another train that's passing through stops on the same platform > See hot Latina conductor get out > Pretty face, probably 5'4, nice fat ass shoved into to tight work pants, nice hair done up under her cap, but could still see it > She got on the train and it left after a minute or two > I will never see her again It's just not fair bros

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Anon has a theory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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Anon has a hard pee pee | /r/Greentext

>>26797234 # Idk, I wasn't really aware enough to think it was wrong so I didn't clear the browser history. Who knows, I don't think anything happ- holy f--- I just remembered a memory I repressed. 18 KB JPG >be me, even younger >get curious about the file system in Windows >click on every folder I can find >find one with a bunch of pics in it >it's all p---, I remember one being some black chick giving a t-- job >my dad walks in >picture still on the screen I turn to him >"my pee pee feels hard" I say >He chuckles and carries the laundry he is holding into the other room. >mfw I slept in my bugs life bed sheets blissfully unaware for what I saw.

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Anon gets a orange | /r/Greentext

Anonymous HAPPY MEME-ORIOLE DAY 27 KB JPG 05/29/23 (Mon)07:02:14 No.73488386 >be 10th birthday >getting good gifts since I'm a big kid now >grandpas turn to give me gift >he gives me a f------ orange >look around like w-- >say "is that it?" >everyone groans and I go to the next person >afterwards mom tells me an orange was the best gift during the depression >whatever.mp3 >later on playing with my new toys in the yard >everyone goes to side of house to look at something >they leave grandpa in his wheelchair out front >I get the orange and throw it into the street and it rolls down the hill >he starts to cry a bit >family comes back >tells me to play with grandpa, he's looking bored >show him some pokemon cards and tell him the best things come from japan >he seethes and calls me bad names >lol as he gets wheeled inside >he really tried to save america and get a purple heart in okinawa just to gift his grandson an orange

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Anon goes on a feel trip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/23 (Mon)06:03:06 No.73487935 >biked by my childhood home today >was sold 13 years ago to a chinese investor couple >turned into airbnb >old neighbor told me it's been abandoned for a over year >whole property used to look beautiful >parents took so much pride in our home >now completely overrun and falling apart >treated with such little care that even the back door was left unlocked >said f--- it and go inside >it's all been been completely destroyed >water leaks in ceiling, debris all over the floor, holes in every wall >all our old furniture is still there from the day we moved out >our family dinner table >dads old workshop in the basement >my childhood bedroom >thousands of memories everywhere I looked >yet it was all so unrecognizable 31 KB PNG

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Anon seeks a free therapist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous what did he mean by this? She was asauited or ayythitsg just for the laternen 59 KB JPG 05/29/23(Mon)01:28:04 No.7348556 >go to free euro gov therapist >tell him i am diagnosed autistic and have issues with going related to it outside/work/school/socializing and that i am sad because i am constantly forced to do em >he responds that he is not educated at autism that much but that i am probs just depressed and anxious and prescribes me ssris and xanax i als asked if i could ask about disability and he was iffy on it but i get that since we europoor

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Greentext Stories - Anon is special needs | /r/Greentext

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File: 20230529_161511.jpg (33 KB, 400x400) Please be patient I have autism greentexts thread Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:04:58 No.73492199 >>73492215 >>73492306 >>73492465 >>73492502 >be me >have large tongue >one day walking home from work >see parked white van >lick the passenger side rearview mirror clean for no particular reason >hear loud "HEY! >mfw i didnt see the dude on the driver seat >runlikehell.exe >yell at him to stop >he starts running off >cant be bothered to chase him >actually feel kinda bad for him cabt be >finally reach my house >reflect upon what i just did i still have no idea why did that >> Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:17:33 No.73492306 >>73492199 (OP) >be normal dude >drive white van for work Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:06:33 No.73492215 >>73492199 (OP) you are a very special boy anon >park your van to call your wife >some retard gets near my van >yfw he starts licking the rearview mirror like its ice cream >>73492199 (OP) inb4 this is posted on plebbit >> Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)11:36:07 No.73492465 File: bca.jpg (130 KB, 750x1252)

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