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I'VE DONE IT! I WENT BACK IN TIME AND KILLED ADOLF HITLER AS A BABY! HEY! THIS GUY SAYS HE KILLED A BABY! WHO'S ADOLF HITLER? NEVER HEARD OF HIM. Cyanide and Happiness © Explosm.net

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Uploaded by Triplem Jun 15, 2023 at 09:19AM EDT

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Origin Entry: Would You Kill Baby Hitler

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WOULD IT BE ETHICAL TO GO, BACK IN TIME TO KILL BABY HITLER> HMM... IT SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD, BUT THEN YOU GET A FUZZY BORDER PROBLEM AT THE EXTREMES, IT'S CLEARLY OKAY TO KILL BABY HITLER AND CLEARLY NOT OKAY TO KILL, SAY, BABY HELEN KELLER. IF YOU TAKE ALL HUMAN BEINGS WHO EVER LIVED AND ORDER THEM BY OKAY-TO-MURDER-NESS, IS THERE A CUTOFF POINT FOR TIME-TRAVELING MURDER? CAN YOU KILL THE MEDIAN BABY? THE AVERAGE BABY? THAT'S EASY. YOU JUST SCALE THE PUNISHMENT TO THE POSITION IN THE LIST. IT'S OKAY TO MURDER BABY HITLER. THE MEDIAN BABY DESERVES A SPANKING. BABY HELEN KELLERS GET A PIECE OF CANDY AND A FRIENDLY PAT ON THE HEAD. SO... IF TIME TRAVEL WERE POSSIBLE... YOU'D EXPECT THAT SOMETIMES BABIES JUST START CRYING FOR NO REASON WHILE YOU'RE OUT OF THE ROOM. BUT THEN... THAT MEANS... TIME-TRAVELING BABY-SPANKERS. THE MOST PARSIMONIOUS EXPLANATION. smbc-comics.com
nut mag Dear Reader: Could You Killa Baby Hitler? 28% Not sure 30% No 42% Yes
AT LONG LAST, GRIMBLy, I'VE DONE IT! MY TIME MACHINE 15 FINALLy FINISHED! 1881 NOW I, DR. MATTHIAS MORDER, WILL GO BACK IN TIME AND KILL HITLER WHEN HE WAS SUST A BABY, THUS SECURING My PLACE IN HISTORY AS BOTH GENMUS AND HERO! ONWARD, TO GREATNESS! 18890 Moden History of Time Travel 45 History's First Time-Travelling Murderer Matthias Morder, lab assistant to Dr. Archer Grimbly was arrested shortly after he illegally used Grimbly's time machine to travel back to the year 1889 to murder an innocent child named Adolf Hitler. He is well known throughout history as the First Temporal Criminal, and widely regarded as one of the most atrocious human beings to ever live
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Uploaded Jun 15, 2023 at 09:19AM EDT

Origin Entry

Would You Kill Baby Hitler

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Cyanide and Happiness

Tags

cyanide and happiness, time travel, logic, murder

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