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Anonymous (ID: YN1Q19JQ) 06/13/23(Tue)11:40:10 No.430531395 >>430538860 >>430558196 File: 1679022276844547.jpg (172 KB, 1125x1125) >>430504186 I'll tell you about the last time I was on shrooms, where one of my plans was to experience an orgasm while on a high dose >>430532427 >>430533402 >be me >a good 3 hours into a high dose mushroom trip >for the last 30 minutes i've just been laughing myself hoarse because waves of extremely intense euphoria keep washing over my body, from tip of the toes all the way out the skull >just wriggle in bed in hysterical laughter to the point of exhaustion >getting control back ever so slightly >think "im lying down anyway, perfect time to bust a nut" >pull out massive hip onahole because im that guy >try to pull my pants down >pants cannot be located >after a few minutes I think they are down, start searching for penis >I am tripping too hard to even see, so simply try to fondle my way to my own d--- and balls >this task takes tremendous effort >when I finally get a hold on the damn thing, I realized my boxers are still on and start crying laughing >I have a thing where I cant clench my fists or even hold onto anything whenever I laugh hard >lose grip on penis and it disappears into the ocean that is my body >20 or so minutes go by >finally, everything prepared, d--- in hand, several KGs of life like silicone f--- toy at the ready >try to maintain erection long enough to shove it into the dry hole >while also trying to figure out how to open p--- on my phone (which i quickly realize is impossible because i dont speak ancient sumerian and thats what my phone is trying to talk to me with) >rely on good old fantasy >it goes from feeling the most intense sexual experience i've ever fathomed to losing myself in the fantasy im actively creating >eventually d--- goes ultra instinct >the time has come >l intent to e-------- with the force of a thousand suns >at the point of no return, time ceases to exist for me >i feel my entire being and the universe coalesce in pure ecstasy in the upper middle part of my frontal lobe >i can literally feel and see my soul leaving my body >i nut and laugh

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 429 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Not sure if this is the 'bloodiest', but it's the 'cringiest' for sure. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: p1gQ2Jir) Defense of Ukraine @DefenceU 06/04/23(Sun)12:41:03 No.429363897 We need Australia in the tank coalition of free nations. Dear Australians, this message is for you: Each and every tank we receive from Australia will help us break through the enemy's defenses - and as a result, regain our land and save the lives of our people. M1A1 ABRAMS TANKS 2:05 AM-Jun 1, 2023-829.8K Views 0:17 / 1:00 australia-ukraine-tanks.png 342 KB PNG >Goes on wikipedia page for M1A1 Abrams tank >Checks which countries are using it and how many >Sees Australia has Abrams tanks >Makes mad max style propaganda video because reddit said that australians like mad max >Gibs me dat! https://twitter.com/DefenceU/status /1664060450772865026

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Anon experiences duality of man | /r/Greentext

File: 168.png (412 KB, 3168x3080) Anonymous 06/14/23 (Wed)20:10:24 No.900959803 [Reply] >>900960451 tfw ive never seen a nice person on 4chan! +3 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)20:29:07 No.900960451 >>900959803 (OP) shut up f-----, get r---- by a dolphin and die >> Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)20:55:27 No.900961156 Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)21:29:39 No.900962180 have a nice day

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Anon is a reddit mod | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous (ID: ggVS6DRo ) 06/15/23(Thu)22:33:34 No.430765258 >>430765369 File: Wowguy.jpg (24 KB, 367x249) >Be me, reddit mod. >Decide to go on strike by withholding a service/product I don't provide. >It doesn't work. >MFW when Keanu Reeves didn't save me.

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Anon failed | /r/Greentext

>you had no friends in school >you got bullied >"get together in groups kids" >your stomach cramps and you nearly gag >at home you play video games, watch videos, anything that makes you escape reality >fast forward, you are in your mid to late 20s >the time of exploration is over >your peers backpacked through New Zealand >they grew up, became adult and built a life 434 KB JPG >they guy who threw a garbage can after you ten years ago has his second child on the way >it is 4am and you stare at a woman spreading her legs on your screen >you start a game you invested 2000 hours into >you aren't even good at it >you don't on try to escape from the world outside anymore >you try to escape from your feelings >you failed >you failed and there is nothing you can do about it >and the soul crushing fact >it could have been different

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Anon digs himself into a hole with AI | /r/Greentext

>taking photos of my girlfriend's body and using them as models for Al, getting sexy results >gf agrees to open an OnlyFans, split the proceeds 50/50 >find a niche, butthole photos >offering 25% sub discount in bio with a butthole pic and it says "IMAGINE YOU WERE SLOBBERING ON THIS" >freaks love this s---, can't pay enough for every angle >all the buttholes look like my gf's, but she hasn't ever seen her butthole 1.69 MB PNG >gf mentions Al buttholes don't look well cleaned >it's literally what her butthole looks like >we're saving for a car with this money, almost there Should I tell her this is what hers actually looks like or just let it ride?

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Anon invents dark matter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/15/23(Thu)11:18:39 No.10849734 >be physicist >making stupid f------ equations for something nobody cares about >stumble upon issue with calculations, it isn't lining up >realize I might have to consider that I'm wrong on the laws of physics >invent "dark matter" out of my ass and add it to the equation as another variable, literally no proof of it existing >equation finished >realize I have to explain dark matter >ohfuck.jpg >"uhmm, well its invisible and very rare and uhh.. also can do a lot but WE DONT KNOW EVERYTHING so DONT ASK ANYMORE QUESTIONS" >everyone falls for it f------ retards

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Smartest 4Chinner | /r/Greentext

A 0.38% 75 100 125 50 Results Your IQ is 64 Your Name... 150 Highcharts.com Your IQ is in the top 99.62% In a room of 1000 people you would be smarter than 4 of them. mensa_application.png 49 KB PNG Is there anything in science I can do with an iq of 64? It is my favorite subject.

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Anon has an... interesting coping method | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 46 KB JPG 06/15/23(Thu)00:52:54 No.900959276 >recently asked a cute waitress out >we had been chatting here and there for a few weeks, thought we had a good thing going >she apologizes and says she had a bf >i tell her no worries, her bf is a lucky guy >ask if we can still be friends and she smiles and says of course >i leave restaurant >pay a homeless man $50 to let me beat him up for 10 minutes >feel better how do you deal with rejection, anons?

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Reddit irritates Anon....... | /r/Greentext

>be you >pathetic redditfag >can't make original memes >steal greentexts from 4chan f--- you

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Anon helps his prom date | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35 KB JPG 06/14/23(Wed)20:27:01 No.900945524 this is the only place i could think of to finally talk about this >be me >senior year >ask crush of 6 years to prom >she says yes, heard she was waiting on me to ask her >go to prom >she essentially ignores me, goes off with her friends and I stay with my other classmates >later learn that she had a boyfriend that she didn't tell me about and went with me because they were arguing at the time all this time later and i still have feelings for her and no other woman. i wonder why she didnt feel the need to tell me she had a boyfriend and use me just to get back at him. i thought she was finally showing affection back towards me after years of trying to be in a relationship with her. shes still with that same boyfriend and she always posts about him fighting with her. View Thread

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Leaked Oppenheimer script | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)11:14:18 No.186335508 images.jpeg-19.jpg 6 KB JPG >If you drop that bomb, my boy, the Japanese will become even more powerful than you ever imagined. >So it's gonna hurt us more than its hurts them, huh? >Exactly. >I can deal with those odds. >Just dont gamble your life away. God doesnt not play dice with the Universe. >You and your dice, again. It's an old game for old men. >God is very, very old. >I dont believe in your Jewish G-d. Now Shiva, I can dig that. The destroyer of worlds. It has a nice ring to it. >And when you destroy the world, what then? >We build it anew. From chaos comes order *flashes Freemason ring to the camera*. >But the Protocols say that your kind will be destroyed as well. >Theres only one way to find out. I'm no Einstein, just an Oppenheimer. *puts on hat and walks away into sunset* >Dont forget I'm the one that came up with E=MC squared >If only I E=MC cared, Doc. If only I cared.

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Anon makes her teacher life harder | /r/Greentext

13 KB JPG >be me > sitting in class minding my own business > my fat angry hairy c--- Karen teacher enters the classroom > killme.png > teacher is angry today > slams the door and starts to rant about something > teacher directs her anger towards me for no reason > she starts yelling and everyone in the classroom starts to laugh > feels humiliated > decide I wont take this crap by a whale > begins plotting my revenge plan > next day > sneaks into my teachers office during lunch time. All the teachers are gone because they want everyone to be included during lunch kek > my master plan is to steal stuff that she uses regularly to make her day harder > starting with something small, such as a pack of sticky notes. Also steals all her pens and and a stapler > next day we hear nothing so I much continue > go into her office at the same time as yesterday > this time I take her stamp with her name she uses to send letters and s--- > also steal her favorite coffee mug >next day teacher is furious and rants about not finding her belongings > other students starts noticing it too, finding it amusing > one day I decide to take it up a notch > I enter her office and takes her f------ office chair > since she is a fat c--- she has this specialized wide office chair, which means it cant be replaced easily > Teacher's face turns beet red, unable to hide her anger anymore >She starts accusing the class of conspiring against her >But little does she know, it was all my doing > to end it all I plan my last thievery > enter her office as usual > open up her drawer > takes her keychain with her carkeys, home keys etc > also take off her HDMI Cable, with her keyboard and computer mouse

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Greentext Stories - Anon does shrooms | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous (ID: YN1Q19JQ) 06/13/23(Tue)11:40:10 No.430531395 >>430538860 >>430558196 File: 1679022276844547.jpg (172 KB, 1125x1125) >>430504186 I'll tell you about the last time I was on shrooms, where one of my plans was to experience an orgasm while on a high dose >>430532427 >>430533402 >be me >a good 3 hours into a high dose mushroom trip >for the last 30 minutes i've just been laughing myself hoarse because waves of extremely intense euphoria keep washing over my body, from tip of the toes all the way out the skull >just wriggle in bed in hysterical laughter to the point of exhaustion >getting control back ever so slightly >think "im lying down anyway, perfect time to bust a nut" >pull out massive hip onahole because im that guy >try to pull my pants down >pants cannot be located >after a few minutes I think they are down, start searching for penis >I am tripping too hard to even see, so simply try to fondle my way to my own d--- and balls >this task takes tremendous effort >when I finally get a hold on the damn thing, I realized my boxers are still on and start crying laughing >I have a thing where I cant clench my fists or even hold onto anything whenever I laugh hard >lose grip on penis and it disappears into the ocean that is my body >20 or so minutes go by >finally, everything prepared, d--- in hand, several KGs of life like silicone f--- toy at the ready >try to maintain erection long enough to shove it into the dry hole >while also trying to figure out how to open p--- on my phone (which i quickly realize is impossible because i dont speak ancient sumerian and thats what my phone is trying to talk to me with) >rely on good old fantasy >it goes from feeling the most intense sexual experience i've ever fathomed to losing myself in the fantasy im actively creating >eventually d--- goes ultra instinct >the time has come >l intent to e-------- with the force of a thousand suns >at the point of no return, time ceases to exist for me >i feel my entire being and the universe coalesce in pure ecstasy in the upper middle part of my frontal lobe >i can literally feel and see my soul leaving my body >i nut and laugh

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