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ENDPAGE Dante's Guide Dante is not a licensed therapist, but he has killed a lot of demons. Just, y'know, use his advice with a little caution, okay? NEXT SUC STEP ONE: HIDE THOSE MAN- N------. PS2's top Badass helps you solve your problems the cool way DEAR DANTE, There's this a-hole at the DMV who keeps making me come back because he says I never have the right paperwork - but he's the one who keeps telling me to fill out the wrong forms! While standing in line for five hours, I started to wonder, "what would Dante do?" -Ryan Fitz, Beaver Falls, IN DANTE: Aw man, you can't let yourself be pushed around like that! Here's how the ol' Son of Sparda would handle the situation: DMV GUY: Wrong form dude, go fill out another one and wait another ten hours in line. ME: You're driving crazy, dude (gotta put a pun in there to be cool, yo!). Seriously, step off and stamp this paper or I'll show you how I made the devil cry. DMV GUY:...What? Then I'd knock him on his ass and ride him around the office like a skateboard while yelling "yeah!" and "yahoo!", jumping off file cabi- nets and scattering papers every- where. Dude, trust me, he'd stamp that paper damn quick after that. Hella-Cool to Being Cool DEAR DANTE, I'm afraid that my son has fallen in with that awful "heavy metal" scene. He's gotten his nose pierced, he parties all the time, and he hangs out with a bunch of punks. I want him to straighten up, but I know he'll just think I'm "square." Mr. Dante, what's the "cool" way to handle this? -Blake Johnson, JoJo, AR DANTE: Duuude, chill. It's the 21st century - you gotta be cool. Your son sounds all right; it's you we've gotta fix. You gotta learn to loosen up, rock out, turn that amp up to 11. Here's what I'd do: SON: I'm going out with my punk- rocking heavy-metalhead friends, dad and there's nothing you can do about it! ME: Hey, no problemo, Dante Jr.! In fact, here, take dad's demon- charged scythe guitar and rock the house down for your old man! SON: You're the coolest, dad! I love and I want to be just like you! See? You just gotta learn to com- municate. The family that rocks together, stays together. DEAR DANTE, My boyfriend is usually really sweet, but he can be a real jerk sometimes. Like the other night -we're sitting there eating din- ner, and he just grabs all my fries because his food didn't fill him up! I love him, but how can I get him to stop acting this way? "YOU GOTTA LEARN TO LOOSEN UP ROCK OUT TURN THAT AMP UP TO 11" -Traci Berg, Helldorado, NM DANTE: You gotta put your foot down, Traci! Draw the line! If you let him take those fries once, he'll always take your fries! This is just me talkin', but I'd switch to my devil form, and with my demon face all on fire an' sh--, I'd look him square in the eye and say "THE FRIES STAY WITH ME, SURFACE-DWELLER!" It hasn't been easy, but you've waited. Patiently. While gamers in Japan have enjoyed PSP bliss for months, you've had to make do with movies land screen shots. Well, next month, your patience finally pays off. In just 30 short days, PSM will present its PSP Launch Special with all the info you need to kick your excitement into overdrive and get ready for launch. A quick word of advice, though: preorder your PSP. NOW! Then, after he stopped crying, I'd send him out for hot apple pies while I finished my dinner. DEAR DANTE, What's up, m'man? Listen, there's this fine, fine honey that works at the food court, and I've been meanin' to ask her out - but I gotta do it right, yo? I don't wanna screw this up! How would the D- man sweet talk a fine lady? -Troy Kelser, Rat's Head, MN DANTE: You came to the right place, dawg! Dante has all the moves to make the chicks put their guns down and get down! The trick is, just play it cool. Like, if you bump into this hot female who's out to kill the same. demon as you, and she puts a gun in your face and starts giving you crap, just smile and tell her how hot her butt looks in those shorts. Then, show off a little bit - like, ride a motorcycle up a dinosaur's tail and blow its head off with a bazooka. Worked for me. Fighting monsters together can be a big turn on you're both walking that line between life and death, the adrenaline gets flowing, bosoms start heaving... Then, if your girl gets hurt, totally over- react, like you think she's dead or something. Kneel down and cradle her body, then look up at the sky and yell "NOOOOO!" She'll totally dig that you cared. PSP IN 30 DAYS!

+7

Dante's advice from Playstation Magezine


Uploaded by Mr. Plankton Jun 23, 2023 at 12:05AM EDT

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Origin Entry: Devil May Cry

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Teli PATREON REQUESTS 18
Share this and spread it to your heart's content. Seriously, though. As of this writing, all five games are a collective 20 US bucks or whatever your region's equivalent. They've got cool action, cool music, and the demons aren't a tone-deaf stand-in for a real-life ethnicity. Get into some REAL stylish action! (Also make sure to get this: https://github.com/serpentiem/ddmk)
Anonymous 04/03/25(Thu)15:52:26 No.707251075 >Netflix get their hands on DMC >right away start going "WHAT IF DEMONS WERE LE MISUNDERSTOOD AND LIKE LE PEOPLE" >show a f------ middle east style USA invasion of Hell What the f---
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+7

Devil May Cry - Dante's advice from Playstation Magezine

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ENDPAGE Dante's Guide Dante is not a licensed therapist, but he has killed a lot of demons. Just, y'know, use his advice with a little caution, okay? NEXT SUC STEP ONE: HIDE THOSE MAN- N------. PS2's top Badass helps you solve your problems the cool way DEAR DANTE, There's this a-hole at the DMV who keeps making me come back because he says I never have the right paperwork - but he's the one who keeps telling me to fill out the wrong forms! While standing in line for five hours, I started to wonder, "what would Dante do?" -Ryan Fitz, Beaver Falls, IN DANTE: Aw man, you can't let yourself be pushed around like that! Here's how the ol' Son of Sparda would handle the situation: DMV GUY: Wrong form dude, go fill out another one and wait another ten hours in line. ME: You're driving crazy, dude (gotta put a pun in there to be cool, yo!). Seriously, step off and stamp this paper or I'll show you how I made the devil cry. DMV GUY:...What? Then I'd knock him on his ass and ride him around the office like a skateboard while yelling "yeah!" and "yahoo!", jumping off file cabi- nets and scattering papers every- where. Dude, trust me, he'd stamp that paper damn quick after that. Hella-Cool to Being Cool DEAR DANTE, I'm afraid that my son has fallen in with that awful "heavy metal" scene. He's gotten his nose pierced, he parties all the time, and he hangs out with a bunch of punks. I want him to straighten up, but I know he'll just think I'm "square." Mr. Dante, what's the "cool" way to handle this? -Blake Johnson, JoJo, AR DANTE: Duuude, chill. It's the 21st century - you gotta be cool. Your son sounds all right; it's you we've gotta fix. You gotta learn to loosen up, rock out, turn that amp up to 11. Here's what I'd do: SON: I'm going out with my punk- rocking heavy-metalhead friends, dad and there's nothing you can do about it! ME: Hey, no problemo, Dante Jr.! In fact, here, take dad's demon- charged scythe guitar and rock the house down for your old man! SON: You're the coolest, dad! I love and I want to be just like you! See? You just gotta learn to com- municate. The family that rocks together, stays together. DEAR DANTE, My boyfriend is usually really sweet, but he can be a real jerk sometimes. Like the other night -we're sitting there eating din- ner, and he just grabs all my fries because his food didn't fill him up! I love him, but how can I get him to stop acting this way? "YOU GOTTA LEARN TO LOOSEN UP ROCK OUT TURN THAT AMP UP TO 11" -Traci Berg, Helldorado, NM DANTE: You gotta put your foot down, Traci! Draw the line! If you let him take those fries once, he'll always take your fries! This is just me talkin', but I'd switch to my devil form, and with my demon face all on fire an' sh--, I'd look him square in the eye and say "THE FRIES STAY WITH ME, SURFACE-DWELLER!" It hasn't been easy, but you've waited. Patiently. While gamers in Japan have enjoyed PSP bliss for months, you've had to make do with movies land screen shots. Well, next month, your patience finally pays off. In just 30 short days, PSM will present its PSP Launch Special with all the info you need to kick your excitement into overdrive and get ready for launch. A quick word of advice, though: preorder your PSP. NOW! Then, after he stopped crying, I'd send him out for hot apple pies while I finished my dinner. DEAR DANTE, What's up, m'man? Listen, there's this fine, fine honey that works at the food court, and I've been meanin' to ask her out - but I gotta do it right, yo? I don't wanna screw this up! How would the D- man sweet talk a fine lady? -Troy Kelser, Rat's Head, MN DANTE: You came to the right place, dawg! Dante has all the moves to make the chicks put their guns down and get down! The trick is, just play it cool. Like, if you bump into this hot female who's out to kill the same. demon as you, and she puts a gun in your face and starts giving you crap, just smile and tell her how hot her butt looks in those shorts. Then, show off a little bit - like, ride a motorcycle up a dinosaur's tail and blow its head off with a bazooka. Worked for me. Fighting monsters together can be a big turn on you're both walking that line between life and death, the adrenaline gets flowing, bosoms start heaving... Then, if your girl gets hurt, totally over- react, like you think she's dead or something. Kneel down and cradle her body, then look up at the sky and yell "NOOOOO!" She'll totally dig that you cared. PSP IN 30 DAYS!

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Uploaded Jun 23, 2023 at 12:05AM EDT

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Devil May Cry

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dante, advice, playstation magezine, playstation

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