R: 142/1: 20 >Now I am become death "I Am"?? Was he f------ retarded?

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Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Be me >Male nurse >Need pen >Check my front pocket >Find a rectal thermometer Some a------ has my pen. Settings Mobile Home 02/07/25(Fri)13:14:36 No.80292626 240 KB PNG Lähi- Apu

File: 350px-0773-CWC23.jpg (25 KB, 350×263) ☐ Anonymous 02/04/25(Tue)12:47:55 No.147369825 >>147369837 >>147369840 >>147370563 He seems like the least autistic comic book creator now. ☐ Anonymous 02/04/25(Tue)14:31:45 No.147370985 Said it before and I'll say it again, the man was a trailblazer: >Self-insert. >Sexual content in children's entertainment. >Portrays himself as all-powerful, but still pathetic. >Uses his work to try and get IRL sympathy. >Can't stop running his goddamn mouth on social media. >No original ideas, just combines other people's intellectual property. >Writes at a fourth-grade level. >Draws at a third-grade level. >Makes people he hates villains in his comic. >His comic takes place in a little hugbox where he's always in the right. >Thinks he's coming off as heroic, even as he acts like a Saturday morning cartoon villain. >Apes anime poorly. >Plot so thin that even the characters don't seem that invested in it. >Wastes entire pages on domestic horseshit. >Traces artwork and still can't get it right. >Loves multi-national corporations so much that he will put ads for them in his comics gratis. The crippling fear of gay guys is the only thing that would prevent Classic Chris-Chan from being a major player at any modern comics / cartoon studio.

Anonymous 01/27/25(Mon) 16:05:10 No.208203934 IMG_5146.jpg 74 KB JPG >try climing corporate ladder >have to fight narcissistic bosses while your dest floods with paperwork >work construction or other handyman work >have to live with constant body aches and fatigue >try easy entry level job >everybody looks down on you and treat you like s--- There really is no way out, is there?

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Anon builds a PC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 364 KB PNG 06/28/23 (Wed)06:21:20 No.73826091 >be me >built my first gaming PC >worth about 450 US dollars >No mood to play games Am i the only one???

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What would you do if Anon was in a difficult situation? | /r/Greentext

39 KB JPG >had sex on new year's night >condom broke >gf's ovulation day >her period is 5 days late >both still live with parents in college >gf says abortion is sin what do anons?

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Anon is Einstein | /r/Greentext

Anonymous That time I was an inventor 47 KB JPG 06/28/23(Wed)01:42:47 No.73826713 > be me > 11 or so years old? > discovered one night by myself what m----------- was > Never heard anyone talk about it before > Never seen it before > I knew what sex was > but m----------- was an unheard of concept to me > So naturally at that point I strongly believed that I invented it > I probably called it "sex 2" or something > I'm mf Einstein, I thought. > picrel is me at 11 > ffw a few days > I invite my two buddies over to my basement show off my invention > Said something like "Gentlemen, welcome. I hereby showcase to you my invention, I call it sex 2 Yadayada" > Drop my pants in front of em > Show off how to j------- 2 Replies > Encourage em to join in > They are hesitant at first but all 3 of us end up jacking it together, pants around our ankles > Older sister walks in like 2min later > "WHAT THE ACTUAL F--- ARE YOU DOOKIES DOING, I'M TELLING MUM" > Later that night we all got a HARSH scolding from our parents, and a lengthy explaination of what we did > It was hell 15 years later and we have since never spoken a word to each other about the incident. View Thread

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Meet the Engineer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous That time I was an inventor 47 KB JPG 06/28/23(Wed)07:42:47 No.73826713 > be me > 11 or so years old? > discovered one night by myself what m----------- was > Never heard anyone talk about it before > Never seen it before > I knew what sex was > but m----------- was an unheard of concept to me > So naturally at that point I strongly believed that I invented it > I probably called it "sex 2" or something > I'm mf Einstein, I thought. > picrel is me at 11 > ffw a few days > I invite my two buddies over to my basement show off my invention > Said something like "Gentlemen, welcome. I hereby showcase to you my invention, I call it sex 2 Yadayada" > Drop my pants in front of em > Show off how to j------- > Encourage em to join in > They are hesitant at first but all 3 of us end up jacking it together, pants around our ankles > Older sister walks in like 2min later > "WHAT THE ACTUAL F--- ARE YOU DOOKIES DOING, I'M TELLING MUM" > Later that night we all got a HARSH scolding from our parents, and a lengthy explaination of what we did > It was hell 15 years later and we have since never spoken a word to each other about the incident. 06/28/23(Wed)07:46:43 No.73826751 : Anonymous >>73826713 (OP) # That was so funny, put me in the screenshot kind plebbit gentleman It's been so long since I've seen a good greentext like this You Einstein looking n----

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Anon encounters a woman | /r/Greentext

absolutelyGREYED.png 1.83 MB PNG >be grey alien overseeing earth, maintaining the human habitats >bring 2 Atlanta women to a lab and begin implanting artificial intelligence devices inside their uteruses to create a hybrid >they are turned on and ask to record while they are "GREYED" for "OnlyFans", ask all the workers to "show them 8 alien inches" >we have no genitals and do not reproduce what do you do with human women?

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Laws of attraction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.42 MB PNG 04/04/23(Tue)03:33:48 No.72822270 >kissless virgin robot >think my whole life that women are shallow and hate them for that >join a dating app and get attention from a few girls >one of them lives in my city and asks me if she can be my healer in some online game >I ignore her because she's ugly I feel like a p------------

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Anon is confused by women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THE Sun What the SUN says KILL ALL ARGIES! A • MERMEL FOOT- ging e TV TATUS And wie Matr Sheept FAIBLE STRING – AR There's more and more The N 453 KB JPG >girl I've been trying to get with >finally get into bed with her after a few weeks 06/27/23(Tue) 14:48:47 No.29231790 >"it's my first time" >she's bent over on her bed with me f------ her >she came >still dry >wasn't even fully hard >now she's on top >she came >still dry >lie and say I finished What happened bros? She wasn't bad or anything and I'm sure I don't have ed so why didn't I come?

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Anon is a bully | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: pkhQZMO4) 06/27/23(Tue)23:17:33 No.17971908 1.83 MB PNG >bullied by girls in my neighborhood growing up >they tormented me, told me I was an ugly failure >finally growing up, got a traveling job for the government on planet Earth >my coworkers and I build the habitats, train the humans, perform examinations/observations from our ship so tourists can visit comfortably >a tourist invites me down to the planet >he introduces me to two human concubines in his harem in Atlanta >my childhood trauma activates, start calling the concubine dirty and ugly, tell her I can do whatever I want to her, she is like an ant under my shoe >she is turned on by this? >observe her as she is vaping, sending photos and videos to her friends about getting "GREYED", plunging silicone objects inside her body and recording it >tell her she is revolting >it only turns her on more? she wants me to "abduct" her and her friend >f--- it >I bring her up to the ship and degrade her, all of my coworkers join in, she is so turned on >tells us to pull down our pants, she wants all of us at the same time there is nothing inside of our pants, bros. we don't have human genitals. what do?

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Big post, some green text so counts, also interesting topic | /r/Greentext

File: 1687693821727850.png (732 KB, 933x1013) When only 14% of your citizens go to church on a regular basis, 73 out of 100 marriages end in divorce, you've got 500 000 abandoned children, you're the European leader of children raised by single parents and abortions per capita, but you still managed to convince the leaders of European all right that you're the true bastion of conservative values because of anti-gay laws and high levels of domestic violence Anonymous (ID: LWKAG3Sg) 06/28/23 (Wed)02:26:54 No.432413275 ► Open letter to arguments against ukraine in defence of ukraine, im going to try to debunk some of your s----- schizoid allegations >inb4 glowie I f------ wish I was paid for common sense >inb4 f--, nig, k--- if you will comment that show me your nose size and your skin colour, also 72.2/100k HIV cases in slavic mongolia >1. "muh negotiation ples" s--- has been tried and failed, also who gets to chose who keeps what and why? e.g. kherson oblast, who gets to keep it, and if its Russia, why? >2."Muh NATO expansion" NATO is a alliance that requires members to apply to it, it doesnt have its own army, it also didnt invade any of its neighbours, to join it, a country must have a specific set of requirements. Some members i.e. Poland was fighting hard to get in. Some rumours even say that they tried to use Poles in swing states to rig the elections by promoting the opposite party to the Poles in said states, source:https://adst.org/2014/02/polands-path-to-nato/ Also why do you think almost all post soviet and commie block countries wanted to join NATO. "But muh invasion justified because ukraine wants to join muh bad NATO". Which sounds a bit like a domestic abuser saying "Look what you made me do" >3."MUH DUMBASS, MUH DONETSK, MUH LUHANSK, ALL BOMBED, THINK OF THE DONETSK CHILDREN" Almost all artilery came from the rebels of Donbas, and almost all ceasefires since 2015 onwards have been broken by them. Also when zelensky was elected, one of the moves he was criticised for was withdrawing troops from the grey area sources: https://www.kyivpost.com/post/6652 >3.1"B..b..but they arent being heard out" zelensky has literally been considering them in elections even under protests from the Ukranian population in kiev Source: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-49903996 part 1 Anonymous (ID: LWKAG3Sg) 06/28/23(Wed)02:27:46 No.432413348 ► part 2 >4."BUT UKRAINE CAUSED THE WAR BEFORE MUH ZELENSKY JEW™ Ukraine offered amnesty or pro Russian separatists back in 2014 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-26969247 https://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/ukraine-offers-amnesty-to-pro-russian-militants-64864 >5"BUT MUH RUSSIAN LANGUAGE LE BANNED IN JEWKRAINE NOOO" "Other languages spoken in Ukraine are granted constitutional protection, and Russian is recognized as the language of a national minority. The 2012 law On the principles of the State language policy granted regional language status to Russian and other minority languages." >6. "MUH TAXPAYER MONEY, MUH 600000000000 BAJILLION DOLLARS, WE SHOULD HOUSE VETERANS NOOO" I agree, every country should take care of their own, however the majority of the money sent to ukraine isnt cash money, its the worth assigned to outdated, existing stock that were paid for decades ago if not years even, and if they are reaching expiry dates, it will ironically cost more to dispose of the equipment than outright send it to ukraine. Your average world equivalent would be for say mcdonalds to give their uncollected orders to the homeless man outside rather than put it in the bin. Also for you ameritards out there, all the "money" you sent to ukraine accounts for 5% of your military budget, without that 5% your budget is still almost 3 times bigger than that of chinas, the second largest military budget. >7. "Muh appeasment will work defo" look up what prime minister chamberlain tried to do with Hitler

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Gaming anon is going crazy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)02:39:14 No.642225726 Guys, hoi4 has been making me go mental >Be me, Hoi4 player, but look like an actual person >At the time of writing this I got 2,438 hours on HO14 on steam, I think like a solid 500 hours of that is on the milenium dawn mod which gives a modern day map >Go out with for a walk with my dog >look up at sky, see cloud >think to myself, "huh that looks like kamchatka, and that there looks like horn of Africa" 179 KB PNG >Walk further, spot a patch of concrete missing, looks to me like Austria but with a shorter Tyrol >Walk by shop, see the left over paper from a sticker after someone tried to Rip it off, >look at it >see kuwait I F------ CANT WITH THIS GAME ANYMORE, I AM GOING MAD HELP ME.

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Anon roasts another user for having a pokemon collection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 111 KB JPG >>54012314 # 06/27/23(Tue) 16:52:04 No.54012310 >>54010899 # >Nobody cares about your boomer toys you had in the 80s new Pokémon is better than that slop you constantly shill

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Anon can’t control his laughter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 96 KB PNG 06/28/23(Wed)01:22:36 No.901667039 >Be me >On the London Underground >On the train waiting to leave station >A pregnant woman is rushing for the train, she trips on the edge and lands bump first into the carriage >People are concerned and rushing over to help her >My mind starts imagining her bump is an egg that's cracked and a Jamaican Rasta guys head pokes out of her p---- and goes "Pop goes da weasel" >Start laughing uncontrollably at this mental image, till the point where I'm red in the face >People think I'm laughing at her and give me bad looks >It's almost as if they think I'm responsible for her falling and probably miscarrying >Continue laughing until the next stop where I decide to leave

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Greentext Stories - Anon schools grammar | /r/Greentext

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R: 142/1: 20 >Now I am become death "I Am"?? Was he f------ retarded?

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