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62 KB JPG >be sick of never doing anything or going anywhere >decide to go out one evening >take the bus to the town >start ealking torward a bar >see the bouncer standing at the door >get nervois and walk past it >walk around the block a couple of times to see if he's gone >around the third time he's not there >slowly walk inside >he's just oitside the door >pay him to take my jacket >go to the counter >buy a drink >go sit in a booth >there's almost no one else here >a couple of girls singing karaoke and one other guy cheering them on >sit there for about half an hour slowly drinking my drink >get out >go to another bar across the street >a lot more people there >it's small and crowded >it's loud >the air is really hot >there's a band playing >go to the counter and order a drink >just stand there drinking my drink >see next to me a table with judt one guy and empty chairs >after fifteen minutes finally gather the courage to walk up to the table, grab a chair and drag it to my previous position >sitting there for another fifteen minutes and finish my drink >go outside >no bussess at this time >walk 9 kilometers back home in pitch black darkness >decide to never go out again Who else a total waste of oxygen here?

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/09/23(Sun)12:52:43 No.73958686 [Reply] >>73958854 >>73959210 >>73959427 >be me >had a crush on the same girl since grade 9 >now both in college (same area) >i am still a virgin >gotten fit since high school but still obviously autistic >she is basically an ig model now >insane figure, perfect round t--- >we run into each other at a pub and catch up >both a little drunk and we go back to my place >we are fooling around and i finger her >literally just in my bed kissing her and playing with her clit and occasionally going inside her >unironically bored as f--- >she is writhing and arching her back What if we date as a joke >i am thinking about one piece >she finishes, i feel her clench around my fingers and she literally shakes

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Anon: Short and Sweet | /r/Greentext

229 KB PNG >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean

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Anons discuss effeminate men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)09:59:47 No.73958053 >>73959776 # >be me >be straight >too straight I can see the feminine in other men >accidentally f----- a femboy who do I blame now? : Anonymous >accidentally f----- a femboy Yeah you gay n----. Ain't no accident. 07/09/23 (Sun)10:01:24 No.73958057

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Anon experiences moral dilemma | /r/Greentext

File: B3A5EEE1-D62F-4709-92E2-9(...).jpg (161 KB, 903x1426) Is cheating on Mexicans bad? Anonymous (ID: clkDCJX5) 07/09/23(Sun)09:14: >be me >22 year old business owner in N. Carolina >live above a cafe >occasionally grab a coffee from downstairs >get to know the staff who work downstairs after a couple years of living here >talk frequently with all the baristas, they begin to like me quite a bit >the manager is a 27 year old white girl (german) who is married to a Mexican dude >she invites me to her friends wedding >realize she's inviting me INSTEAD of her husband, as her “+1” >ohfug.jpg >ask her employees why she invited me instead of her husband >they say she always talks s--- about him and doesn't want to be married to him >wedding is in 3 weeks >haven't accepted or declined to come What do I do n? I don't want to ruin a marriage but he's a f------ I'd consider it my duty as a white man but I'm only 1/2 white anyways.

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Anon got a Tinder girl and have sex with condom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/07/23 (Wed)03:30:13 No.877885925 107 KB JPG >recently single after very long relationship >only ever had sex with her >match with cute girl on Tinder >go over to apartment and go for a walk in the rain >she brings me upstairs >we watch a movie and flirt a little but im nervous and she was a little awkward >she turns off the lights and randomly says "time for bed" >we start to make out >get naked >she's a literal 10/10 perfect body >I am fingering her and eating her out >go to get condom and boner goes down >oh f--- >won't get hard >so nervous and uncomfortable my little buddy refuses to cooperate >just finger her and play with her n------ >think she came but who knows >we lay together and she can tell im bothered >asks me what's the matter and explains that she literally doesn't care she had a great time >kisses me and we hold eachother tight >tells me about her ex >total f------ scumbag >tell her I've been having a rough time since my breakup too >she says "I could get used to this" >talk until around 2AM >cuddle all night but I can't really sleep >by morning I'm completely in love >go to take train home and kiss her goodbye >she unmatches me an hour later

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me 36 KB JPG >decide to make a fake account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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Anon goes to the restroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male? 366 01/25/22(Tue)01:18:47 No.67134420 27 KB JPG

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Anon goes on r/Conservative | /r/Greentext

> Open /r/Conservative to see what they're talking about >trans agenda >trans agenda >Hunter Biden's c--- >pride flags >Hunter Biden's c--- >Here's how Trump can still win >pride flags >trans agenda >trans t--- at the white house >Hunter Biden's c---

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anon has some misadventures with a carrot | /r/Greentext

Damn.. I kinda created my own personal hell through poor decisior making Anonymous 07/08/23(Sat)23:09:40 No.73955576 >>73956536 IS IT OVER FOR ME BROS??? The Damocles' Carrot >be me >watches a--- p--- >sees the girls enjoying it >thinks to muhself: wow must be nice huh? >sneak a carrot out of the fridge >shoves it into my ass when my parents were downstairs >hurts like F--- but believes that it will feel good >it doesnt >hears footsteps >OH F--- >pulls out the s----ridden carrot and throw it into the laundry bin because i am a retard >mom walks up, i pull up my pants >mom checks in says hi and leaves >forgets to take out the s--- ridden carrot ✓ >>73956487 my parents has never mentioned it to me till this day. they MUST have found out they MUST have but they've never bought it up to me, its been 6 F------ YEARS and its been haunting me in my dreams for FOREVER

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Least protective anon towards woman | /r/Greentext

07/09/23(Sun)14:50:38 No.73958148 : Anonymous >>73958014 >>73957656 none of this mfs are me, the story goes like this >be me >get paired up with a cutie on a college project >for some reason she doesn't want me to go to her home so suggest we do the project at my house >bitch suggest day were coincidentally my parents arent home >it's like shes setting up a sex adventure >the day comes >nobody's home, she's cute and im extremely horny at this point >realize i could have her and nobody could stop me >don't want to r--- her cuz ill obvs end up in jail or smth >impure thoughts flood my head >realize it's gonna happen weather any or us likes it or not >tell her she better go home >says she wants the project to be done today so she doesn't wanna leave >my warnings arent working >remember my based dad hides guns in his closet >tell her im going to drop a deuce but grab a gun >tell her she has to go otherwise i will be forced to r--- her >bitch yells like a banshee and runs away leaving all her s--- here >know for a fact she will accuse me of r--- regardless so may as well shouldve done it >too late anyways

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Anon likes single moms and the polish | /r/Greentext

File: Napoleon Bonaparte.jpg (1.04 MB, 1536x2048) Napoleon Anonymous (ID: Schuy64b >be me >manlet >fall in love with single mom >cucks me and cant bear me a son >f--- tons of bitches and get remarried >basically emperor of the world >make the mistake of invading Russia >get exiled 07/09/23(Sun)12:32:36 No.433821324 [Reply] >>433821418 >escape, take power again, lose and get exiled again >last words were single moms name >> Anonymous (ID: (USnngFQ) 07/09/23 (Sun)12:34:22 No.433821418 >>433821324 (OP) Yeah, I'm thinking based.

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Anon makes a sandwich. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/23(Sat) 23:18:12 No.90229217 WHEEZE e9f.png 53 KB PNG >be me >local sandwich making f-- >be at work >4/10 coal burning roastie comes in with tiny n----- >neverhurtnoone.mp4 >proceeds to order sandwich for her shitskin spawn >starts screaming order at her >don'tgetpaidenoughforthis.mov >get to the veggies >only wants banana peppers and hot sauce >ufuckinwot >mfw the only thing that could calm a feral gorilla was bananas and hotsauce Tl;dr stereotypes exist for a reason.

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Greentext Stories - Anon Steps Out | /r/Greentext

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62 KB JPG >be sick of never doing anything or going anywhere >decide to go out one evening >take the bus to the town >start ealking torward a bar >see the bouncer standing at the door >get nervois and walk past it >walk around the block a couple of times to see if he's gone >around the third time he's not there >slowly walk inside >he's just oitside the door >pay him to take my jacket >go to the counter >buy a drink >go sit in a booth >there's almost no one else here >a couple of girls singing karaoke and one other guy cheering them on >sit there for about half an hour slowly drinking my drink >get out >go to another bar across the street >a lot more people there >it's small and crowded >it's loud >the air is really hot >there's a band playing >go to the counter and order a drink >just stand there drinking my drink >see next to me a table with judt one guy and empty chairs >after fifteen minutes finally gather the courage to walk up to the table, grab a chair and drag it to my previous position >sitting there for another fifteen minutes and finish my drink >go outside >no bussess at this time >walk 9 kilometers back home in pitch black darkness >decide to never go out again Who else a total waste of oxygen here?

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