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Political Compass - Political Compass But It's a European Medieval Court | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Left The Chancellor *Has to do the King's bitch work without actually being king. *Bad ones will *Overworked. be plotting against the kingdom for their own personal power. Courtesans *Well connected noble ladies using their femine wiles to to their own advantage. Might even make it to top mistress or queen. *Gossip Tournament Knight but is too MDMA *Looks badass important to family bloodline to risk in actual battle. *Feels like a caged lion. Monks *Annoying ideas like "charity" but so few of your people know how to read so it'd be a shame to get rid of them for just that. *Secret lairs powered by water wheels. The Queen *Probably doesn't speak the local language due to marriage alliance with foreign power. *Tries to gege remain dignified despite the king's multiple mistresses The Princess you could get your head chopped off. Drunken Nobles Taster *Every noble's 3rd+ son that has nothing better to do than drink and party in the royal court everyday. *Unfullfilling life of resentment. *"Don't you know who I am?" *Everyone dotes on her at gatherings. *Sheltered from real world events. *Married to foreigner or Duke at 14 for an Alliance. * "Off with their heads!" well someone has to do it. *Tip him extra to make sure he gets it done with one swing Secret Revolutionary *Wronged in some way. *Seeking revenge. *King doesn't even remember doing it. *Tastes the food of important people first to make sure it's not poisoned. *Might taste good. The Court Jester Court Dwarf *No one respects him, but he gets to speak truth to power through thinly veiled jokes. *Everyday is a party, but The Executioner The Spy Master *Paid well but disliked by everyone. *Collects dirt on everyone. *Pretends to not be important. *Can have people killed on flimsy pretenses. *Proves the pen is mightier than the sword. *Might be poisoned. *Not as cool as fantasy dwarves but still fun to hang out with. *Fights duels against turkeys. *Lots of drinking. Authoritarian The Marshal *Does all the logistical grunt work of preparing the army but doesn't get the glory. *Counts horses, soldiers, carts. *Tries to feed thousands of men in hostile territory with little to no support. Dukes *Powerful Lords from noble families. Always positioning for appointments and additional titles when they aren't living it up at the King's expense. Foreign Dignitary The Heir *Important people from some other country. no 20 *Might even be enemies but you have to CHROP put up with them. Minstrels *Medieval MP3 players *They play music. *That's all they do. *Important Foreigners kept in the court so that it's less likely that country will go to war with you. * Often it's kids. Hadith Bayad wa Riyad *Fine balancing act between giving them power too early & not Slave Girls *Has no real status, just there to satisfy the lust of powerful men. *Nice clothes and food, and avoids hard labor but that's about it. *Birth illegitimate heirs for future power struggles. challenging them enough early on so they can learn. *hated by siblings Royal Chef *Makes 13 of everything even when 12 are asked for to avoid beheading. *Constantly has to meet the needs to spoiled nobility. *Probably eats well at least. Foreign Hostages Freeholders they are better than everyone lelse. *Better than the frontier I guess. *Who let this happen? *I'm sorry my lord, but all the paperwork seems to be in order *Highly productive *You're the king? I didn't vote for you. Guards * "Guards, seize them!" *Stand around all day watching interesting tales of far away nobles act like lands. Royal Bastards *Unrecongized children of royalty. Kept around in some minor roles just in case. *Could be a crusader or other soldier as well. *Might just hang out with the 3rd sons. The King * I am the state. *Has to do the administrative work and be a warrior. *Few are up to the task leading to constant Libertarian plotting and struggles for power. Court Magician *Dark basement full of weird objects and smells. *Can totally turn people into toads. *Bishop wants to kill but too afraid to go for it. *Could get burned at the stake. Sea Captain *Lowly position, but has *Always one writ of marque away from admiral title. Religious Reformer The Steward *Gets to tax people. *Wants the Bishop to be less *Could be corrupt. the next Pope. The Bishop *Religious Authority *Mostly there to remind the king he isn't God. *Doing his own political manuvering the rest of the time. *Funny hat *Of course I take gold. fan Banker * Who else are you going to borrow from? *It's really your own fault for making this pretty much the only job they can do. zzzz Crusaders *Consists of every 3rd son of nobility who wants a purpose besides drinking all day every day. *Sent to foreign lands to keep them from causing trouble *Always gets his cut since he's the first with the coin. *Has to tell the king the bad news when they are out of money, again. Burgomaster *Maintains the local town's special arangements with the King by keeping Wine Merchant Guild Master *You're out again? *This is a great vintage. *Only 3 bottles of this left. him well supplied with silks and spices among other things. *Makes cool stuff like clocks. *Can rig prices. *Controls large labor forces. Mercenaries *Expensive, but sometimes more reliable than the King's vassals. *Will switch sides if they don't get paid enough. *Cool company names Right

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