Barbie (2023 Film)

“ As far as summer blockbusters go, “Indiana Jones” just got beat up by a doll dressed in pink. That’s right--the “Barbie” movie has become the hit of the summer.

“Come on Barbie, let’s go party!”

Hollywood was desperate for a win this summer, and thanks to a viral TikTok campaign, Barbie had an impressive opening weekend. Twelve year-old girls and their mothers flocked to the theater to escape the heat and see Barbie give Ken, her plastic boyfriend, the cold shoulder.

Barbie always had a ‘problematic’ side according to the feminists. How dare little girls cherish a doll that they could accessorize with endless fashion outfits and multiple careers? Lawyer Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Marine Biologist Barbie…Barbie could be and do anything imaginable. What’s wrong with that?

It’s boring, that’s what! Woke Hollywood wanted a completely revamped Barbie for 2023.

So now we have Antifa Barbie, Depressed Barbie, Stripper Barbie, Eating Disorder Barbie, and of course, Trans Barbie, who makes a special appearance in the “Barbie” Movie. Can’t have a hit movie these days without some rainbow and trans-whatever propaganda shoved into it.

We almost forgot, Abortionist Barbie. The movie cleverly sticks that nugget in with a scene of little girls bashing their baby doll’s heads into rocks, singing ‘we don’t have to be mothers anymore.’ Subtle.

And sick.

We don’t want to give away any spoilers, but we don’t think our audience is going to flock to see this pink nightmare (sorry Ralphie). However, you can be sure the normies will.

The “Barbie” movie is one long TikTok video of the pink police state saying all men are bad. There, I just saved you $15 dollars.

You’re welcome.

--Tina