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Greentext Stories - Anon goes on a Caribbean cruise | /r/Greentext

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File: IMG_0901.jpg (362 KB, 768x810) >be me >get invited on caribbean cruise by aunt >"sorry auntie thats not really my thing" >"it will be good for you anon to get outside" >after 2 weeks of illegal harassment by my aunt I relent and say yes >i imagine quiet walks on secluded beaches and beautiful sea views from my own private cabin >arrive at miami boat port, feeling of dread overwhelms me >its literally like an airport, thousands of people in lines. Either prehistoric old people or giant obese landwhales with Hawaiian shirts. >forced to share a tiny windowless "stateroom" with my lizard-faced cousin heathcliffe >yes thats really his name >he talks nonstop to me about his college in Wyoming >"f--- off heathcliffe, i wish that gay serial killer had killed you" >"haha your so funny anon" >"f--- off heathcliffe" >next stop Jamaica. No way im leaving the ship, dont want to get r---- >every evening im forced to have dinner with my mutant sunburnt family in a giant dining room that smells of onions and thrift stores >there is literally nowhere on this ship where there isnt a million old or fat people how could anyone possibly enjoy this? This is literally the worst experience of my life bros. Genuinely considering jumping overboard.

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