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Snapchat free stalking 65 KB PNG >Be me >Have Snapchat >Dumb people have there location always on >basacilly free stalking >Have party on Saterday >Qt.3.14 is invited >She has her Snapchat location on >Put on my nicest shirt on >Go to the party >She isn't there >Wait a bit >1 hour passes >Go to the bathroom >Take a pee >Open Snapchat to see where she is >She is at an other party >Mfw

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (1290px x 1151px)

File size: 98.8 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon has to deal with a ham planet. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:18:37 No.650816867 ► >>650816966 >>650817694 >>650818031 >>650820819 File: 1446832947686.png (316 KB, 579x579) >work the front desk at a hotel in Galveston, Tx >easy day, just dicking around on my phone when IT enters the lobby >half man, half beanbag chair, easily 400+ lbs. >start praying that the once human entity doesn't trip, fall and collapse the building with me inside >beanbag man gets to the counter and leans on it, visibly out of breath >"H-Hi, checking in?" >planet Ham of the McDonald's galaxy tells me he has a reservation for a room on the 7th floor >take his card, give him his key, yadda yadda yadda >entire time I'm holding back gagging because he smells like roadkill >hamgalaxy starts making his way to the elevators >get an idea >"Sir, I apologize but the elevator is out of order. You'll have to take the stairs to the 7th floor." >7th. F------. Floor. >his face when >dis n---- gon die.fat >the walking heart attack breaths a deep sigh, preparing himself for the journey ahead. >hop over to the security cams because I know this s---'s gon be good >Lardex, Destroyer of Buffets takes 3 minutes to clear the first flight of stairs For comparison, you can get to the second floor in about 10 seconds at a brisk walk >gets to second floor, immediately gets a coke from the vending machine, plops down on a chair and rests >concerned for the structural integrity of that chair Some time later I went to check on the chair, it was, no f------ joke, soaked in ass sweat. Had to throw it out as to not spread his beetus. >the human garbage disposal sits there, contemplating all the bad decisions that got him that fat for about 5 minutes >have to tend to some work for about ten minutes >apparently people were wondering why the building was caving in >get back to the cameras and see white shrek on the third floor >swear to God, lying on the floor >people would walk over or past him like the pile of garbage he was cont. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:19:30 No.650816966 ► >>650817553 >>650817694 >>650817823 >>650817999 >>650819741 >>650819773 >>650820077 >>650820295 >>650820718 >>650820798 >>650820819 >>650816867 >stairs to the 4th floor are being renovated >the few at the top are just wooden planks on one side >leave some police tape kinda stuff in the middle of the stairs to direct people >fatsy can't fit on the good half of the stairs >mumbling to myself "Come oooooonnn... Do iiiiiiittt." >Snorlax steps too far to the right >steps on a wooden plank >it cracks under his quadruple digit weight >man-t--- is now waist deep in floor >Prayers answered.gov >calls the front desk to bitch at us >tell him we had warnings all over the f------ place >"OH, (DEEP BREATHING) WELL CAN YOU GUYS (GASP FOR AIR) AT LEAST SEND SOMEONE UP (SANDWICH) TO HEL-" >hang up >manboobs kind of waddles himself out by rolling back and forth Pretty impressive actually >reaches the 4th >half way there, the destination is at ham >clears the 5th stairway, no problem after about 42 years >gets to the top of the 6th stairway, his floor is just 4 steps away >hamplanet braces himself, leaning on the wall >what the f--- this n---- doin.burger >fatsy bends over and just vomits >not just a little spittle, like a baby, he is recreating Niagra f------ falls with vomit >puddles at his feet and trickles down the steps like a beautiful river >see chunks of undigested food/people in the gallons of vomit and stomach acid >the man of a thousand lunches just lifts his head, wipes his mouth with his wrist and just keeps going >unphased by the lake of spew he goes to his room >a lone Viking, crossing the fabled plains, towards his final resting place in Valhalla Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:26:28 No.650817823 ► >>650816966 HOLY F------ KEK OF ALL KEKS I HAVENT LAUGHED SO HARD INA LONG TIME. Thanks anon Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:48:26 No.650820819 File: kermit Lol.gif (63 KB, 120x120) LOL >>650816867 >>650816966 TOP KEK screenshotting this. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:25:26 No.650817694 File: 1438956505392.jpg (115 KB, 413x395) >>650816867 >>650816966 11/10 my sides are in another dimension. Oh f--- I hope that is real. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:48:18 No.650820798 ► >>650816966 >the destination is at ham F------ dying Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:24:23 No.650817553 ► >>650816966 >a lone Viking, crossing the fabled plains, towards his final resting place in Valhalla tears are rolling down my face, good job anon

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Anon the revolutionary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)09:42:52 No.903971582 >early morning, laying in bed next to sleeping wife >think of a genius business idea that will change world >people are going to write books about me one day it's that good >wife turns to me quickly to snuggle but her chin hits my nose >f---! Do you realize what this means /b/? >can't ever tell book writers and historians the origin of the idea >if they find out, instead of revolutionary, it's going to sound silly That woman has tarnished my legacy I'm so f------ mad

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Anon is Enslaved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MakeAGIF.com 08/06/23(Sun)08:22:41 No.903856860 1.79 MB GIF >wake up >work 12 hours >job has a no-salary policy >tip only >earn nothing >go home >try to wash clothes >no fabrics can handle warm water >tfw have to buy new clothing after each use >tfw 90% of products are designed to break immediately >break the second you touch them >go to eat >1 meal = 300 000 calories >no nutrition other than fat, salt, and sugar >only designed to make you addicted, not healthy >spend the last hour on my phone in my bed >Al doing art >Al doing creative writing >Al making music >Al doing all human hobbies >mfw can't afford food >mfw can't afford rent >mfw can't afford a house >mfw can't afford a family >mfw can't afford an education Capitalism is slavery.

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Femanon’s bf is special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 89 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)09:48:56 No.903971842 >me, 26f >get boyfriend, 32m >he lightly bites my arm to show affection >like takes my arm and places his teeth on it like fake biting and smiles Is he retarded what the f--- is that

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Anon gets robbed....... | /r/Greentext

Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

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Godspeed Anon.. | /r/Greentext

Women are f------ c---- from hell : An Women are f------ c---- from h(...) 20 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)17:51:00 No.903974371 > be 19 year old me > just moved to another foriegn european country. > all alone, no friends > s---.png > started from the bottom, > created a new friends group, Best friends! > we hang out 24/7 > relaxing.mp3 > after 2 years, met a woman > Fell inlove, > she is the one > treated her like a queen, date and sex > bestLife.wav > living the dream > after 1 year of dating introduced her to my friends group that i created from scratch. > f----- my best friend, > dumped me, > get thrown out of the friend group that i created > i am a ghost now > no friends, no family, > F---.jpg This almost happened two years ago and they moved together. She doesn't talk to me, the all ignore me My old best friend doesn't even look at me when i see him in the City Should i just rope myself?

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Anon is an revolutionary artist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 3KB6HSxa 13 KB PNG 22 Replies 13 Images 12 KB PNG 08/15/19(Thu)09:00:55 No.8561239 watermelephant : Anonymous (ID: 3KB6HSxa >>8563676 # View Thread 08/15/19(Thu)21:29:51 No.8563668 >>8561993 # lemonkey

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Anon questions some design choices....... | /r/Greentext

125 KB JPG >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?

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Why didn't anyone think of this? | /r/Greentext

Potato-Field..jpg 234 KB JPG I read 100m2 of land can produce 1 ton of potatos or €1,000 at retail. Can you get rich if you own a shitton of land? Anonymous (ID: CUPMNEZC 10/03/22(Mon)10:42:10 No.398112991 >>398112469 (OP) # >Anon discovers agriculture

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Anon is oblivious | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: sad_anime_girl.png (190 KB, 330x312) Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)23:09:43 No.74309810 >be me 11 years ago >grade 4 >8/10 qt3.14 sits and talks with me at lunch >talk about s--- grade 4's talk about >she starts talking about dating >oblivious.jpg >6 years later >friends with same 8/10 [Advertise on 4chan] >play minecraft together >admits to me that she had a crush on me >says she likes dominant men >i own a pair of thigh highs, skirt and an oversized hoodie it was over before i even started thinking about dating

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Anon goes on a field trip | /r/Greentext

No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars

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Anon gives the wrong answer | /r/Greentext

>playing truth or dare with coworkers (it's a raunchy night) >we're using pre-written questions >my work crush pulls "if we were together on a desert island, how long would it take till we bang" >I immediately respond "one week" >everybody freaks out, she looks uncomfortable I f----- up, didn't l?

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Greentext Stories - Anon uses Snapchat | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Snapchat free stalking 65 KB PNG >Be me >Have Snapchat >Dumb people have there location always on >basacilly free stalking >Have party on Saterday >Qt.3.14 is invited >She has her Snapchat location on >Put on my nicest shirt on >Go to the party >She isn't there >Wait a bit >1 hour passes >Go to the bathroom >Take a pee >Open Snapchat to see where she is >She is at an other party >Mfw

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