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File: harolds.jpg (5 KB, 150x150) Anonymous 09/12/23(Tue)09:57:56 No.74710779 >>74710803 >be me >get to work >coworker starts laughing at me >he says he can tell I got high before work >go look at myself in the mirror >eyes look red and irritated I was actually crying all morning.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Sad anon just wants a cookie | /r/Greentext

File: b09a659b35c629a8dc378d7a7(...).png (336 KB, 640x653) Anon is sad Anonymous 09/12/23(Tue) 18:44:48 No.905952068 >be me in 6th grade >it's valentines >girls in home ec class make cookies for all the guys >cookies have the guys' name on it >get excited to see who made me a cookie >teacher calls the boys up one by one to get their cookie >cookies run out >nobody baked me a cookie I just want a cookie, man.

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Anon likes butterdogs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/16(Fri)15:28:05 No.7881736 >>7881780 >>7882025 >>7882181 >>7883072 >>7883234 File: 766a578cfb021a78ce3bf2c50(...).jpg (51 KB, 217x395) I used to know a guy who developed legit autism because his mom left him home alone a lot when he was a kid and when left to his own devices, he apparently ate nothing but butterdogs Anonymous 07/15/16(Fri) 15:43:19 No.7881780 ► >>7881790 >>7881797 >>7883064 >>7881736 >Butterdogs I'm sorry, what?

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Gorillamaxxing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous GORILLAMAXXING 09/11/23 (Mon)14:32:52 No.72217632 gorillamaxx.png 630 KB PNG Average gorilla >doesnt know what a gym is >spends his days chilling in the jungle >eats mostly bananas, leaves and maybe some small birds and lizards >his "routine" is just doing gorilla stuff, like throwing barrels and climbing around >he is 500 lbs of pure, raw muscle >insane primal strength >can casually deadlift 5000 lbs >can casually bench 3000 lbs >also has an IQ of 142, higher than the average /fit/ poster How do I GORILLAMAXX? I want to be a gorilla

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Anon has a pet fish......... | /r/Greentext

308 KB JPG Ok /b/ros this is the story of the day my dad stopped loving me >it happened a while back >I was 13 >had recently started jacking off >had a friend who was a 14 year old chad >he got a b------ from some thot at the winter dance >fuckingcoolguy.jpg >asked him what it was like >"it's the f------ best anon, nothing feels better than lips around your d---" >gotta get me some of that. >but am anon, am ugly, am not athletic >have never ran without holding down X >idea.wav >we have a koi pond in the backyard.. >so one night I act on my idea and sneak out and abduct one of the fish from the pond >look it in the eye because you have to respect your lady amirite? >shove d--- in fish mouth >f------ the life (literally)out of this koi's throat >dad just f------ barges in my room >sees me with my d--- in the fish's mouth >I stare at him in horror >the koi stares at him with hope >he just shakes his head says "god damn it" and leaves >he didn't say a word to me for 13 years.

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Anon searches for a therapist | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_1289.jpg (143 KB, 1125x1538) Anonymous 09/12/23(Tue)08:31:42 No.74710315 >>74710331 >>74710353 >depressed >loney >want to kms >decide to go to a shrink >mfw im finding myself looking for female only shrinks that are also attractive in hopes i might get a relationship with them I dont really need a shrink do i? I just need a f------ gf. Will a shrink teach me how to get a gf? Anonymous 09/12/23(Tue)08:34:47 No.74710331 File: image.png (1.09 MB, 1280x720) LOONEY TUNES >>74710315 (OP) # >loney >>74710352

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Jamie, pull up vids of polar bears. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/23(Mon)12:02:57 No.189749834 a1wlijkfxma51.png 1.19 MB PNG >"No Joe, I don't think anyone froze to death when I turned summer into winter." >"In fact, I think you'll fine more cold-related deaths in the average Arendelle winter. Jamie, pull those numbers up."

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Anon is of noble stock | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/12/23(Tue)00:39:45 No.905940697 >>905940364 # >be me big boi >eating my tendies in the ball pit at McDonald's 410 KB JPG >bitch mommy got caught drinking silly juice again on the way here and is playing grownup wrestling with the police so she doesn't get in trouble >some stupid c--- comes over and tells me I'm scaring the children and I should be ashamed of myself and some b------- >try to explain to her that I'm using my well earned goodboi points >bitch is still talking >I relax my belly and let out a extra stinky stink >her nose twitches >she immediately pukes starts crying and runs away >"hehestupidbitch.wav" >next thing I know Ronald McDonald comes over and tells me to leave >now I have a lot of respect for Ronald McDonald I think he's a business genius but if this is how he treats his customers then he's lost his roots >OH YE CLOWN OF OF BURGER LAND I MUST BEAT YOU WITH MY HAND! NO RESPECT TO ME WAS SHOWN IN THIS SACRED BURGER HOME >with that I whip off my diapie orange brown s--- flying everywhere I swing it like a lasso and hit him so hard his head literally explodes >everyone in the place freaks out for some reason >the all run away screaming like f------ women >heywaitaminute.mp3 >realize the kitchen is totally unguarded >run with s--- smeared all over my legs to the kitchen and gorge myself >I hear police sirens >thank god finally they're coming to arrest Ronald McDonald for treating me like that >he's dead but I'm sure he'll wake up on time when they get here >smirk thinking about how many free tendies I got >this was the best 30th birthday party ever It's hard being a goodboi sometimes lads but we truly are a noble breed

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anon has an average football experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ESPI TERH 144 KB JPG What the f---? 09/02/23(Sat)11:30:10 No.905416316 >new in America >turn on ESPN with American football show on >host yells "COCKS COCKS COCKS" >crowd roars in excitement >turn off tv before mom hears it

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Germanon proves Germans can be hilarious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [] 08/27/23(Sun)15:11:26 No.134451602 >>134447254 # Never met a funny german person. Your women must be f------ bored to death >>134453702 # : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>134451602 # Okay wanna hear a funny joke? An english man and an american go into a bar. It was a gay bar. 08/27/23(Sun)15:50:29 No.134452753 08/27/23(Sun)16:17:54 No.134453612 08/27/23(Sun)16:20:57 No.134453702

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Hello Mr. Nice guy | /r/Greentext

1h (9/11 23:38) · 74703566 0 Re - 0 Img JPG 13KB (563 × 475) 9f60a6153a0d55d8e8c31953a65ba3d4.j pg ●●● : >be a------ to woman i don't care about >woman starts liking me and being nice >starts dating >become nice to her as start to like her more and more >she gets cold as i stop treating her badly and being mean >we broke up >i start treating her and other women badly once again >repeat why can't women like nice people?

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Two world wars | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/23(Tue)14:17:39 No.650495360 file.png 1.15 MB PNG >300 years in the future >.45 outperforms most future weaponry what did Todd mean by this

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Anon visits Manchester | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous A 01/23/23(Mon)18:21:45 No.18849095 13 5576.jpg 74 KB JPG Visited Manchester today and what the f---

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes to work | /r/Greentext

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File: harolds.jpg (5 KB, 150x150) Anonymous 09/12/23(Tue)09:57:56 No.74710779 >>74710803 >be me >get to work >coworker starts laughing at me >he says he can tell I got high before work >go look at myself in the mirror >eyes look red and irritated I was actually crying all morning.

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