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Nintendo - I don't even play Nintendo games, but this is the gist of what it seems to be

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Nintendo ATTENTION TO THE PLAYER In a world of compromises, some people put rules on their IPS But it doesn't matter, because our video games are the best ones out there. Look at how cool our Donkey Kong is. if you send us money you will be allowed to slap it, once..... And chicks will dig you. At Nintendo we stuck a bunch of rules on our IPs, just like NO other gaming groups have done. However ours is better, because we refuse to allow emulated and modded games Because: A Sincerely, ZAN Nintendo YOU SUCK Our store is the greatest store ever made. It may be unorganized and have limited content, but that's your fault. If you were a real gamer you would love it. once again look at our donkey kong, that ass sure is thicc isn't it? AND Yeah, you know you want to send money to us. And by the way, check out our new console. We decided that humans don't need to quickly play games by modders. If you were a really manly teutonic gamer, you wouldn't be bother by DMCAs plus we've tested the server to be able to take 100,000,000 requests at one time, and that was when the server was buried in a lake of molten lava, on the moon. If you don't believe us, it is because you aren't a real gamer. marketing department WE HATE YOU By the way, our 1 million Mario games are the best thing ever, and totally worth giving us lots of money, but not that cheap high quality indie games from other people, thats garbage. not that it matters because you're not in our threads, so you will have to wait for your Metroid Prime4.Because you suck, and we hate you, but we know you'll be back. We can beat you down like a trailer park wife, but you'll come back, you always do. Give us money.

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Uploaded Oct 25, 2023 at 08:25PM EDT

Origin Entry

Nintendo

Notes

Parody of /ak/ scans' disclaimer pages.

"you suck and we hate you" is an old joke about the firearm company HK's perceived attitude towards civilian gun owners
https://www.everydaynodaysoff.com/2009/10/05/hk-because-you-suck-and-we-hate-you/

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FreshPrinceOfBeijing

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