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> don't give a f--- about my life > consider joining the army > get to take out murderous rage without going to prison > when i die to a russian airstrike it will be viewed as an honorable sacrifice unlike hanging myself > parents will have a reason to be proud of me instead of ashamed for once > maybe finally feel a connection with someone through shared trauma instead of being ostracized autistic loser 800 10 KB JPG i already want to kill myself. this is probably the most socially acceptable way to do it.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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Trump says he ordered air strikes on Islamic State group in Somalia 301 301 SAFE US AFRICA COMMAND US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth said the strikes "further degrade" the ability of IS in Somalia George Wright BBC News 1 February 2025, 17:42 GMT Updated 35 minutes ago Donald Trump says he ordered military air strikes on a senior attack planner and others from the Islamic State (IS) group in Somalia. "These killers, who we found hiding in caves, threatened the United States and our Allies," Trump posted on social media. 1aa90f.png 611 KB PNG >US airliners falling out of the skies >Egg prices soaring >Deportation photo op failed >Melania getting Trudeau'd >Trump looking to deflect attention OFFIC

Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18 (Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg 128 KB JPG >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

Anonymous 1/31/2025, 10:39:47 AM No.49078630 r/greentext in 2036 Discussion 7 KB JPEG >be me > logging into Reddit Metaverse Premium Plus (now with haptic feedback for downvotes) >spend 3 hours verifying my age through blockchain-based ID system > finally get to r/greentext >sort by new >"Anon works at the Mars Colony" >be me, wagecuck on Mars Colony 47-B >working 169 hour weeks maintaining Musk's catgirl breeding facility >getting paid in ElonCoin (currently worth 0.0000001 USD) >mfw when I can't even afford soylent anymore >tfw no qt 3.14 genetically engineered catgirl gf >at least I'm not working in the reddit karma mines >get notification that I forgot to thank the Amazon-Tesla Al for allowing me to breathe their premium oxygen subscription > oxygen supply cut off >die >get reanimated as a cybernetic wagie because I signed the wrong clause in my 47,000 page employment contract > now I have to work double shifts >tfw when you realize you'll never escape wage slavery even in death >mfw when I realize I'm still paying off my student loans from 2024 >pic related, it's my government assigned cybernetic suffering enhancement module Replies: >Fake: Anon implies he got a job >Gay: Anon works for another man's catgirl facility >TendieBot_9000: [ATTENTION CITIZEN] Please validate your greentext reading license before attempting humor >"what the f--- is a soylent?" > "it's what they called food before the great nutrient paste standardization act of 2034" >be me reading this on my neuralink >get error 404: brain not found >mfw As I watch the last remnants of 4chan culture get absorbed into the corporate metaverse, I realize the true greentext was the autism we developed along the way.

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Just tired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)22:18:28 No.910036114 mis tiredfuck.jpg 240 KB JPG >body physically cannot stay alseep for more than 4 hours >Wake up hours before work, lie for hours trying to fall back alseep >body feels worse and worse as the alarm gets closer >sometimes manage to fall back asleep for 30 minutes, but alsays wake up to my work alarm and feel like my body is 80 years old and dying of cancer >spend the morning exhausted and out of it >try going to bed earlier, no phone or electronics for 3 hours before >doesn't do s---, just lie awake for hours >last night literally lights off in bed at 7:30pm, 12 hours to sleep until alarm >lie wide awake for 5 hours, feel like I could run a marathon at midight despite feeling like I was dying this morning >eventually fall asleep >wake up >3 hours, 27 minutes have passed W-- is wrong with me

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Anon's sister thinks he's suicidal................. | /r/Greentext

>text my sister out of the blue asking if she wants to visit our grandmother since it's been a while >she phones my mom convinced Im suicidal because apparently people like visiting extended family before they off themselves >doesnt even text me back or call me, just my parents The absolute state of my life right now.

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Anon Plays L4D2 | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (420 KB, 616x353) 632 4312 Anonymous LEFT 4 DEAD 09/16/23(Sat)17:48:58 No.651060000 >>651060997 >>651061419 >>651061880 >>651062095 >>651062330 >14d2 is on sale >heard it was pretty good and it's only .99 >buy it >start it up >for some reason i didn't get a log in bonus >it went straight to the menu instead of giving me a tutorial so I'd know how to play the game >try to check my dailies but i can't find them in the menu >select play campaign >ranked isn't available so now i have to deal with sweats in quick match >game assigns me ellis even though i don't have any perks set up for him or cosmetics >alt tab to look up ellis builds and a video of some boomer fitting flap torque tube bushings for his RV-10 plane >kicked for being AFK so the match won't even count for battlepass completion >didn't even get a box after the first match as a new player do people really play this s---??? i can't even find the weapon skins menu this UI is garbage

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Anon is direction deficient | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 107 KB PNG >god I miss her 04/16/21(Fri)07:48:36 No.852217512 >god I miss her >be driving >miss my exit >full of rage >reach over to hit her for giving bad directions >she's not there

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Sensitive guys you have to perform emotional labor for | /r/Greentext

hannah The uating pool for young women is literally - P--- addicts - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- Anonymous So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter

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The Mind Games Maven | /r/Greentext

11/29/23(Wed)08:40:43 >Alt girl at gym keeps looking at me >I go to sit on a bench and she walks up to the dumbbells and sticks her ass directly in my face to pick some up >Later I'm standing in the cable machine and she walks through it instead of around it passing within inches of me >Ignore her the whole time I'm there >Go home and masturbate to her >Get to enjoy 90% of the positive female experience with none of the downsides Women are too easy to outsmart Anonymous No.75586432 123 KB JPG

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Love is an evolutionary trap | /r/Greentext

/redscarepod u/stimulant enjoyer- th broke up with my bf who loved me so i could hook up with my coworker that i've had a huge crush on since forever who just got out of 3.5 year relationship, all to get pumped n dumped we f----- twice (sex was amazing), he made reservations for us to get brunch at this super fancy italian place then cancelled on me, didn't text me all week, muted my instagram stories, then eventually stopped responding to me via text. i lost my s--- last week and blocked him on everything so he knows I'm a full blown psycho. can't wait for the office christmas party, i know i only have myself & my mommy issues to blame for this but god damn i cannot stop taking Ls. 185 180 Share How can women move from one man to another so easily? Anonymous (ID: NP57aja9) 11/29/23( >>450355657 >>450355706 >>450355838 >>450355893 >>450356642 >>450356694 >>450356782 >>450356982 >>450357300 >>450 >>450357867 >>450358436 >>450358705 >>450358835 >>450359556 >>450359589 >>450359641 >>450360117 >>450360473 >>450 >>450361502 >>450361729 >>450361905 Anonymous (ID: GqLrZ/ww incel thread 11/29/23(Wed)19:36:27 No.450354959 11/29/23 (Wed)19:40:05 No.450355264 >>450356235 >>450358074 >>4 Anonymous (ID: hGxbb4Mr >>450354756 (OP) >How "Love" developed evolutionarly in males to make women appear to have value when there is none. Women, however, cannot feel it >>450355413 >>450 536 >>4

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Anon thinks the writers are getting lazy | /r/Greentext

1/2 QAAneEDI (OP). US 44m (11/29 14:08) 450363684 · 12 Re . 8 Img JPG 5KB (225 x 225) Trump Mugshot.jpg 4 Replies Did the writers really expect us not to notice? >Born into a very wealthy family, but not of the politically elite class >Politicians look down on you as a man unfit for office >Run on a populist platform, railing against the political elite >Blame the elite for importing foreigners >These foreigners take jobs from the working class, and keep wages down, benefitting the elite >Blame the elite for inflation, especially regarding food >Blame the elite for never-ending wars on the periphery >Politicians are angry because he tried to broker peace, ending a forever war >He declares the whole political system to be corrupt >Whips the people into an anti-establishment frenzy >Main support base of rural working-class people, despite coming from a wealthy urban family >Elected by the people, but hated by most politicians >They constantly try to undermine him and try to remove him from office >Many of his actions fly in the face of legal precedent >Political enemies call him a tyrant >Politicians want to indite him as soon as he leaves office >He runs for a second term >He claims the elite committed election fraud to keep him out of office >During the confirmation of the election, he incites a riot to try to stop it >His supporters riot on the steps of the Senate on Capitol Hill >He is widely considered to have led to increasing polarization, disillusionment with democracy, and normalizing political violence >His rule marks the beginning of the end of democracy >Be Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus (pic not related) History really does repeat itself

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Discovering Complexity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: J5HmMX1i) | 62 KB JPG 11/29/23(Wed)04:32:35 No.19151922 >be me >be online all day >only had discord gfs >some friend invites me to parties >drink often >some ugly girls get interest in my >have sex >hit up girls on discord and drive to them >f--- them >f--- yea life is starting to get good >meet actual cute girl >have a relationship with her >break up for no good reason cause why the f--- not >miss her >no girls show any interest in me anymore >no sex anymore, loosing friends, only social interaction over the internet again TFW I realized that the girls just liked me cause they where young and didn't had real standards, now I'm older and the girls my age look for guys that can provide something and care about if he is a f------ poor neetbuxer. It's over

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Anon is going to watch Godzilla | /r/Greentext

Girlfriend thread? 11/30/23(Thu)08:35:31 No.910099047 >Former neet. >21 Years old. >July of 2023. >Went to a bar with my brother and chilled. >Saw some redhead I was down bad for in high school. >Brother kept telling me to talk to her or whatever. 20 KB JPG >Ended up talking for an hour. >Later found out she got cheated on. >She found her boyfriend cheating and they had a bad break up. >Moved back up north. >Opened my mouth and asked her if she'd like to go out. >Haven't moved in together yet but I recently found texts of her texting my grandma. >GF is wanting to know me better. >Saw a recent reply of my grandma: "Well, he loves Godzilla and is a regular at a local Chinese restaurant up there. The boy wont shut the hell up about it." >After Godzilla Minus One was advertised I began freaking my s--- and have been wanting to go watch it. >She just bought tickets today. >For both of us. IMMA GO WATCH GODZILLA.

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/fit/bro finds out the harsh truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "Height is a meme" meme(...) 178 KB PNG 11/20/23(Mon)20:51:06 No.72856218 >chick likes me >we make small talk >asks me what my height is >*gulp* >"5"5.5" >notice her make a subtly disappointed face >gets awkward no longer has the same flow >conversation >awkward goodbye Lifting didn't fix this

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Anon is a procrastinator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/23(Wed)15:52:46 No.75591019 >Be me >Taking stupid Gen Ed class in college >Supposed to be an easy A but the professor gives a shitload of busy work >There's a huge group project that we're supposed to spend the entire semester working on 40 KB PNG >Chip away at parts of it throughout the semester >My group and I procrastinate quite a bit on a lot of it though >Just found out big final paper is due tomorrow at 11 AM and we've done none of it How f----- are we? View Thread

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Greentext Stories - Anon considers joining the armed forces | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

> don't give a f--- about my life > consider joining the army > get to take out murderous rage without going to prison > when i die to a russian airstrike it will be viewed as an honorable sacrifice unlike hanging myself > parents will have a reason to be proud of me instead of ashamed for once > maybe finally feel a connection with someone through shared trauma instead of being ostracized autistic loser 800 10 KB JPG i already want to kill myself. this is probably the most socially acceptable way to do it.

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