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Greentext Stories - Kinda hot ngl | /r/Greentext

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• 18h (4/15 0:56) · 897617153 GIF 735KB (320 × 320) AUOB.gif 9 Replies . > be me, 12 > older sister, 16, comes into room one night after parents are asleep > tells me not to say a word > undresses herself > comes towards me, starts to undress me > i struggle and protest as first, but eventually relent and shut up > straddles me > virginitygone.gif >tells me to never tell anybody or i'll be in trouble > this goes on for many years > every other night or so, she would enter my room and do as she did that first night > i never spoke, i was never "on top", she always made all the moves > never spoke during > never spoke about it ever > outside the bedroom, we were normal siblings > even on days we fought, she would come to my room > always the same > sometimes she cuddled with me after, most times just cleaned me up and left > i knew it was wrong, always did, but never felt strongly for or against it > just let it happen and went on with life > ff to 2 weeks ago, 19 now > sister killed herself, opened her wrists in the bathtub while i was at work ... > no warning, no note > week of her funeral is a blur of numbness > depression sets in a few days after she is buried > changing bed sheets a few days ago > find note under pillow > from sister, addressed to me alone > explained that she was r---- a few months before she "assaulted me" > used me to feel in control, felt like she was taking back what was taken from her > 3 weeks ago, found out she was pregnant > could only have been mine > finding that out snapped her back to the reality of the situation > thinks i must have hated her > she hated herself for "stealing my innocence" and "ruining my life" > hopes her death will "set me free of the pain she caused me" I dont get it. I didn't hate her. I never hated her. It was weird, but it was just something we did. It hasnt affected my life in any meaningful way, never kept me up at night. I hate this. I loved my big sister. I want her back. Why couldnt she have just talked to me first? I don't get it

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