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Ben Rosen @ben_rosen my wife brought me a lemonade. i said, let me guess, it's from panera. she said no, i poisoned it myself LU 2:10 PM Dec 7, 2023 · 1.8M Views :

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rodney dangerfield one-liner stand-up panera lemonade stand-up comedian

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Angantýr @BasedNorthmathr My Al lady said I'm cheating on her I said no baby I always do that to the toaster 5:46 AM Dec 17, 2023 · 3,582 Views :

Benny Feldman @Feldfrog You should be able to scrape the nightmares off your dream catcher into a machine and distill them down to a pure iridescent oil that you can drink and have a thousand nightmares at once 12:34 PM Dec 1, 2023 · 482.7K Views

AISE WELL PRAISE DALE Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse "Seasonal depression? Sure, I had that just yesterday at my in laws. Took one bite of the turkey and got depressed at how bad it was seasoned!” ჰეგის BURN DO AMOO NE 11:21 AM • Nov 24, 2023 52.7K Views : ...

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You should be able to scrape the nightmares off your dream catcher into a machine

Benny Feldman @Feldfrog You should be able to scrape the nightmares off your dream catcher into a machine and distill them down to a pure iridescent oil that you can drink and have a thousand nightmares at once 12:34 PM Dec 1, 2023 · 482.7K Views

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“i want a hamburger and french fries”

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I guess Henry Kissinger decided to make like Spotify and call it a Wrap

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Seasonal depression?

AISE WELL PRAISE DALE Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse "Seasonal depression? Sure, I had that just yesterday at my in laws. Took one bite of the turkey and got depressed at how bad it was seasoned!” ჰეგის BURN DO AMOO NE 11:21 AM • Nov 24, 2023 52.7K Views : ...

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Of course I support same-sex marriage!

Huckleberry @Huckleberrytini Same-sex marriage? Of course I support same-sex marriage! I've been having same-sex with my wife for the last 20 years! 4:37 PM Nov 20, 2023 1,378 Views :

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Which genre do u hope makes a come back now superhero movies are dying

Jo @Goldxn_Violin Good movies hannah strong @thethirdhan. Nov 2 Which genre do u hope makes a come back now superhero movies are dying. Personally I hope it's alien invasion films 6:29 PM Nov 2, 2023 144.9K Views : ...

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i asked my wife where she was going, she said “five nights at freddys.”

Ben Rosen @ben_rosen i asked my wife where she was going, she said “five nights at freddys." i said have fun at the movie, she said "what movie?" 9:26 PM Oct 26, 2023 1.9M Views ...

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I was stuck in the Gotham cop hole for five long months.

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he tells me she's on a sympathy strike for the auto workers

Senator Meow @SenatorMeow : I tell ya, I was getting in bed with my wife last night, she tells me she's on a sympathy strike for the auto workers. I ask her why, she says really relates with their unappreciated handling of small parts. No respect 7:48 PM. Sep 15, 2023 · 1,364 Views

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my wife calls from burning man, she says she's trapped, she's unhappy, she wants out

Ben Rosen @ben_rosen my wife calls from burning man, she says she's trapped, she's unhappy, she wants out. yeah, then she told me how bad burning man was 2:06 AM - Sep 3, 2023 2.2M Views

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I Was Making Love to My Wife and Halfway Through She Gets Up and Walks Out the Room

brian @brianthehuman i was making love to my wife and halfway through she gets up and walks out the room i say hey, what's the big idea?? she says SAG- AFTRA's on strike, i can't do any more acting! 8:23 PM 6/5/23 from Earth 150K Views ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

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I’m all out of Thyme, I gotta make a Dill Dough!

Tender and mild adult @neonwario What did the baker who intended to make an herbed bread, but was missing some key ingredients, say that caused someone who overheard his statement to think the baker was instead a sex toy maker on a tight schedule? I'm all out of Thyme, I gotta make a Dill Dough! LUN : 8:48 AM Jul 16, 2023 10.7K Views

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Rodney Dangerfield One-Liner Parodies - my wife brought me a lemonade. i said, let me guess, it's from panera

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Ben Rosen @ben_rosen my wife brought me a lemonade. i said, let me guess, it's from panera. she said no, i poisoned it myself LU 2:10 PM Dec 7, 2023 · 1.8M Views :

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