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File: peperecon.png (73 KB, 454x453) Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)19:44:07 No.76587686 >be me >retail wagie >have qt3.14 coworker >she is pretty much my dream waifu in aesthetics >light skin, brunette hair with bangs, big brown eyes >wears round glasses, soft facial features >small frame but has a nice badonkadonk >dresses kind of nerdy even >saw her go into the employee bathroom today >she was in there for a few minutes at least >>76588694 >>76588873 Guys I went in there after her and licked both sides of the toilet seat. I know she probably used a seat cover but her bare ass was still right on that surface just about. I jerked it when I got home and the post nut clarity hit like a freight train. Best case scenario is I'm just an idiot, worst case I get oral herpes or some kind of infection from that seat.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Bloody Sickle | /r/Greentext

: Odd Anon AH 117 KB JPG 01/25/24(Thu)21:22:46 No.76238858 > Be 6 year old me > Watch p--- for the first time with my old bro but we got caught > The next day > Watch emperor's new groove with the neighbor's daughter (12) whose babysitting me > We eventually got ourselves to a tickle fight > Remember what I watched last night > Go for her lips and kiss > Pull away and see her get confused > Go down on her and aggressively pull her underwear down > It's a spiderman underwear > She fights back by pulling it up > This continues for like 10 mins or so > Suddenly she got called by her mom > Says she'll come back > She didn't come back > Next day, everything's back to normal I don't know why did my 6 year old self did that but I really hope she doesn't remember that anons. This memory still lingers in the back of my mind and I can't forgive myself for it.

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Party pooper | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 194 KB JPG 02/27/24(Tue)13:31:59 No.76598198 >hear couple above my apartment having sex >go to my bathroom and take a violent s--- >can hear the women yelling that was disgusting and the night was ruined. fr though living in a apartment with poor sound proofing sucks ass. Anonymous >>76598198 (OP) # KEK f------ based I hope you keep doing this to them 02/27/24(Tue)13:32:43 No.76598209

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He also defeated the Orcs but ok | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 220.png 134 KB PNG 02/27/24(Tue)04:07:52 No.196675407 >be Gondor peasant >some hobo shows up near the tail end of the battle for Minas Tirith, basically just helping with the cleanup since most of the fighting had already been done >claims he's the heir of a kingdom that no longer exists and by extention is also your rightful king since his ancestor was the brother of your king from thousands of years ago >you havent even had a king for a thousand years >all this after your steward mysteriously falls off a cliff in an event unrelated to the battle, at which two of the hobo's buddies were present

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Anon tells the story of Seth the Tard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: f30Q+c1j) 06/13/12(Wed)03:27:18 No.405850895 >Be in fifth grade. >Mega tard named Seth is in my class >He f------ farts all the god damned time. >Ohgodkillmesoidon'thavetoendureitanylonger.jpg >One day ten minutes before PE >Seth walks up to my friends and I hanging around outside. >"Pass gas." >allmywhat.jpg >He shoves his hands down his pants, pulls out handfuls of putrid s---, flings them at us. >We flip the f--- out. >Huge mound of human s--- hits my friend >I flip out, had enough of human s--- being flung around. >Punch him in the face as hard as I can. >Bloody nose. >Starts screaming bloody murder. >PE teacher comes over, he says I just punched him in the face for no reason. >I point at my s--- covered friend, "Ma'am, he was literally throwing his s--- at us." >"DID YOU JUST SAY THE, 'S' WORD?" >"Uhm, my shirt is covered in poop..."-My friend. >"WE'RE GOING TO THE OFFICE!" >Get in trouble, my parents called. Almost expelled from school.. >I hate tards.

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Anon fall asleep on his keyboard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me

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Anon identifies himself as truecel | /r/Greentext

File: 1702866886005797.jpg (18 KB, 320x320) >> You are a fakecel if you have friends Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)17:57:00 No.76590726 >>76590818 >>76591231 >>76591302 >>76591338 >>76591418 >>76591419 >>76591591 >>76591607 I'm so f------ tired of people here claiming to be incels and then casually mentioning that they have a friend or a discord buddy. If you are able to make another human talk to you regularly you are basically a normie. You are socially competent. F--- off from this board. Just go get a girlfriend with all those social skills of yours. Why do you even come here? You have no idea what real loneliness feels like. Is it just to laugh at us? I'm f------ tired of how many people here are like this, there are no more than like 5% of truecels here. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)18:16:52 No.76590818 ► >>76590907 >>76590726 (OP) if this isn't bait then you're a despicable human being. it's nice to see people like you being alone. who the f--- are you to come here and gatekeep? drown in your own misery, you spineless f---. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)18:28:20 No.76590907 >>76591153 >>76591209 >>76591232 >>76590818 What is even remotely despicable about what I said? Why do you normies like to invade and s--- up everything? You literally have the rest of the internet to talk about how you have friends. You come here specificallty to make us truecels feel bad. The entitlement is insane Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:03:33 No.76591153 ► >>76591232 >>76590907 no don't you get it you're despicable because... you're lonely or something Neusch !!Obl0TN2+TWM 02/26/24(Mon)19:11:46 No.76591209 >>76591252 >>76590907 You are replying to a cuckold; a futile endeavour. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:13:58 No.76591231 >>76591252 >>76591398 >>76590726 (OP) So a 5'4" ugly autist is a fakecel because he has another ugly incel friend. What the f--- are you smoking, n-----? Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:14:14 No.76591232 >>76591398 >>76591438 >>76590907 >>76591153 you retards realize that having a conversation with people IRL is different from having friends on discord, right? or do i have to explain the difference to you too, mongrels? >entitlement you are not entitled to the use of this board, if you dont like the people that visit this board then get the f--- out, or get owned because you couldn't adapt. is it THAT hard to try befriending a person? even criminals have friends, if you don't have any then it's because you don't try or you're despicable, and since you seem to think you have tried then you're despicable. get a grip, the world won't stop moving because you decided to be bitter. you will be forgotten. so better get your ass moving. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:17:03 No.76591252 ► >>76591231 this thread is retarded, don't bother >>76591209 look at these tripfag retards, it's like if this board became a fiesta of people trying to be the incelest incel of them all Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:22:25 No.76591302 ► >>76590726 (OP). Holy based. The fake robots didn't like this one. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:26:11 No.76591326 ► "truecels" are as bad as leftist f------ that constantly make b------- reasons about how theyre oppressed more than another demographic Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:28:03 No.76591338 ► >>76590726 (OP) you are all actually hopeless holy f--- Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:37:06 No.76591398 >>76591585 >>76591838 >>76591911 >>76591231 >So a 5'4" ugly autist is a fakecel because he has another ugly incel friend Literally yes retard. He has enough social skills to make and keep a friend, which is a lot of social skills. >>76591232 >you retards realize that having a conversation with people IRL is different from having friends on discord, right? Not that different. It's funny that you speak as if everybody can just find a discord friend no problem. You are no different from Chad telling people "Just get a girlfriend bro, it's so easy" The gap between having a friend and having a girlfriend is much smaller than the gap between having no friends and having a friend. So if you were able to jump the first gap and get friends then you can jump the second gap relatively easily and get a gf. Therefore, if you have friends, you are a fakecel.

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Anon doesn't get his burger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ← # Mobile The cops arrested me Dordash + 02/25/24(Sun)13:20:22 No.20240571 Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. 12:49 AM O' Can you tell the cops to deliver my burger? r Type a message... 1000016557.jpg 324 KB JPG >one place selling burgers at this hour >get an order in 5 minutes before closing >salivating Sent ļ >guy parks near a cemetery for like 15 minutes on the way here >sends this

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Anon practices wizardry and witchcraft | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous Magic is power 02/25/24(Sun)10:31:16 No.914462639 >be me >wizard >see traffic jam >cast enrage on drivers >watch the mayhem as drivers I CAST POORLY CROPPED IMAGE get out of their cars and beat the s--- out of eachother 57 KB JPG >watch granny beat little timmy with an umbrella >several guys seriously hospitalized >get held responsible because I cast the spell >go to court >all the drivers and their families are there >cast it again

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It's a good plan | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)11:21:17 No.196653628 michael.png 2.67 MB PNG >always hear about how Michael Corleone is one of the most cunning characters in film history >finally watch The Godfather expecting some galaxy brain Machiavellian s--- >his master plan was to just f------ shoot everyone he doesn't like

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/fit/bro BOmaxxes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 44 KB JPG 02/26/24(Mon)10:47:30 No.73680216 >stopped wearing deodorant >stopped holding my farts in >haven't had to wait for a machine in 3 weeks

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Anon is on a roll | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous sup /b 02/26/24(Mon)05:42:52 No.914505160 IMG_0546.jpg 107 KB JPG >cant stop now... later f------

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Anon exhibits attention seeking behaviour | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)02:29:40 No.914497574 I once used /b/ as my personal army without asking or even saying a word... > work at a large electronics manufacturer, in product/technical support > among other duties, test and troubleshoot streaming apps on our TVs and other media devices > boss gives us his personal netflix, disney, amazon, hulu and youtube login details (he claimed them as work related expenses) > boss becomes a cocksucking a------ > check email and passwords provided by boss on other sites (facebook, hotmail, yahoo, google, linkedin) > stupid wanker uses the same login and password across everything > his personal facebook and linkedin accounts are also approved owners/admins to our company's facebook and linkedin accounts > paste the email and password along with logos for each of the sites in a jpg > post the jpg with no comment on a /b/ "shouldn't share" thread > sit back and watch the mayhem as one or more /b/tards run rampant through his and my employer accounts, changing recovery emails and passwords and basically locking him and us out of everything. >>914500987 # Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)04:00:32 No.914500987 >>914497574 # why do you paste this in every thread? this is a boring story that we all did as edgy teens at some point or other

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Greentext Stories - Anon has a crush on his coworker. | /r/Greentext

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File: peperecon.png (73 KB, 454x453) Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)19:44:07 No.76587686 >be me >retail wagie >have qt3.14 coworker >she is pretty much my dream waifu in aesthetics >light skin, brunette hair with bangs, big brown eyes >wears round glasses, soft facial features >small frame but has a nice badonkadonk >dresses kind of nerdy even >saw her go into the employee bathroom today >she was in there for a few minutes at least >>76588694 >>76588873 Guys I went in there after her and licked both sides of the toilet seat. I know she probably used a seat cover but her bare ass was still right on that surface just about. I jerked it when I got home and the post nut clarity hit like a freight train. Best case scenario is I'm just an idiot, worst case I get oral herpes or some kind of infection from that seat.

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