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Anon on the future of games | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Mar 07, 2024 at 06:21PM EST
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![Anonymous 03/07/24(Thu)20:37:15 No.915017322 [Reply] Once, a group of devil worshipers attempted to recruit Jon Arbuckle. This was back in the 1990s. A group of three black robed Satanists came to his home, and bowed solemnly, congratulating him on his insurmountably large number of sins. He seemed amenable to the idea of joining them, but inside, he was plotting their demise. Realizing the devil worshipers had never even met Satan dismayed Jon badly. He sees the devil every night and masturbates with him, Clearly, the dark lord had brought them there to punish them for their cowardice. That night, Jon arrived at the graveyard where the three men stood, and told them he thought they were weak, pathetic, and should bow before him as the devils emissary. They were angered and drew blades on him. But Jon is a Vietnam vet, and a psychopath. First, he pulled out a length of intestine harvested from a roadkilled elk, and wrapped it around the first posers neck, tying it off as he kicked him in the back, paralyzing him in one f------ move. The second man raised his knife but Jon was given clemency by the US military for his devastation of the Guk population, raised up a suppressed pistol, and blew the mans' hand off, then grabbed his other hand and ragdolled him into a gravestone, smashing his skull. Jon was enthralled, told the third man his soul was hollow, he didn't care whether he lived or died, then proceeded to not even bother disarming him, bending down, crouched behind the dead mans ruined skull, licking the brain fluid, and staring with pure hate and insanity at the third man, who fled, only to be caught in the bear trap Jon had secretly placed on the other side of the graveyard. The last thing that poor man saw was Jon approaching with the defleshed leg bone of the first man, ready to pound his skull in. The authorities had to quickly clean the scene, determining the crime to be related to gang activity, continuing to give Jon his stipend and free animals to r---.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/770/709/f70.png "not a greentext but found it funny | /r/Greentext")
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Greentext Stories - Anon on the future of games | /r/Greentext
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![Anonymous 04/19/23(Wed)19:31:21 No.73016752 [Reply] ► Tinder fail (?) I thought I should share with the Robots >Be me >Using this digital equivalent of a landfill hoping for the slightest offchance I may get some poon out of it >Match with a chick >"Probably a sex bot" >She messages first >"Definitely attempting to plug an Onlyfans or some s---" >Is actually a witty message, seems like a real person >We start texting on the app, almost immediately move to Snap >Seems to like my sense of humor >I think she's cute and funny >"Wow [Anon], I really struck out by finding a guy like you on this app!" >Ask for a date this upcoming Saturday but she says she'd rather FaceTime first just to get more of a feel for what I'm like before meeting up >Sounds reasonable.file >Shower, shave, everything for our FaceTime last night >Lasts only about forty minutes because it's apparently cut short by some RA business she has to tend to >For those unfamiliar with the term they're essentially older students who live in the dorm halls with younger students to supervise them >I stutter a little during the call which I'm sadly prone to but I think it goes rather well >Fast forward to this morning >She had sent me a text wall message at 3am >She said d that while we had bonded well over text, she didn't enjoy the FaceTime as much as she thought she would >Says I remind her of her brother >I repeat, THAT I REMIND HER OF HER F------ BROTHER >Would have been relatively easy to go on dates with her seeing as despite the fact we go to different unis our respective hometowns are barely 20 minutes away from each other Robots...what the f---? I'm not even all that upset, just a little numb with disappointment. I was handed the silver platter for a fraction of a second then had it swiped away mere seconds later. Does it get any better?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/574/025/220.png "Robot almost succeeds in life | /r/Greentext")
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Uploaded Mar 07, 2024 at 06:21PM EST
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