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: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/25/21 (Wed)09:01:20 No.16600087 >Reads recipe >Changes it significantly, substituting many ingredients, using differing cooking times and temperatures >Recipe comes out tasting bad >"Wow, this recipe is so s---!"

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon becomes bilingual | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 46 KB JPG 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype/discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore

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Harry Potter and The Search For My Father | /r/Greentext

IF YOU'RE SURPRISED, IT MEANS YOU DON'T SEE ENOUGH BLACK PEOPLE IN MAJOR ROLES. Harry Potter THE DEATHLY HALLOWS JOIN US ON OUR MISSION FOR BETTER BLACK REPRESENTATION IN THE MEDIA @legallyblackuk Could it work? AND HP.jpg 159 KB JPG : Anonymous >>171762817 (OP) # >accio welfare LEGALLY BLACK 07/28/22(Thu)12:16:15 No.171762966

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Anon doesnt like sex | /r/Greentext

140 KB PNG 02/09/23(Thu)08:23:35 No.17011650 sex is not worth trust me > be me > 18 > fat virgin > started working out, looksmax > somehow went to club and got 8/10 girl > we went back to her > got nervous > couldnt get erection > I have sensitive penis so when she started blowing me it hurted even more > somehow fingering her > didnt get hard > I felt like we are doing something weird and we shouldnt do that > I didnt even c-- at her place > went home > c-- 4 times while thinking about her Actually sex isnt as good as it looks. I am deeply disgusted and sad. M----------- is better cuz noone is watching and judging your body

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Anon invested 200 dollars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: DYGdnIXs) 77 KB GIF 02/08/23(Wed)21:43:00 No.53635166 *Califronia dreamin' playing* >Welcome, My name is Anon Rothschild >I own $200 of the world, I own stocks in companies such as Blackrock, Apple, Tesla, Astrazeneca and Google >l invest therefore I own >I own your Technology >I own your cars >I own your medicine >I own your information >I own your food >I own you

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Anon knows how to spot a Canadian | /r/Greentext

□ Anonymous (ID: +OCtgzJj) 02/08/23 (Wed)18:26:16 No.415418388► >>415418769 File: CanadasGlory.jpg (61 KB, 720x960) BRITISH COLUMBIA Staying Safe at the Glory Hole Get the Hole Picture Before you pop your peen into a neighbour's glory hole, consider the hole itself. Is it safe? Are there jagged edges? Does it appear to have been sanitized recently? Some people have reported injuries upon insertion, so be sure you stay injury-free". Avoid Gendered Language Try to avoid using language specific to an individual gender (for instance: "Oh man, that's good" or "Keep going, girll") and aim for inclusive vocalizations of pleasure. Some options could be: "I am appreciative of this moment of tenderness," or "Can we make this quicker? My kid's in the car." Peek Before You Poke If you are being serviced by a certified B.C. GloryHole SuperHost, they should first politely affer you the opportunity to peek through an eye-ovelhole to ensure you've got the right host Watch Your Back Keep care of your other long and hard bone-your spine! While being attended to, stand with your shoulders back and knees locked. British Columbia hospitals treat more than 420 cases of gloryhole- related spinal injuries per month. Don't become a statistic. >>415418245 >not sophisticated enough to pad the stall wall Yeah, definitely not Canadian i i X Olory hole injuries only covered by WorkSafe BC for construction workers and police officers in uniform with above average girth Photographic proof may be required.

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Anon is disappointed by reality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 07/07/22(Thu)11:01:09 No.26638718 I thought getting my MTF girlfriend estrogen would get me a hot futa gf. Instead I am now dating a moody teenage girl trapped inside a 20 yr old's body.

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Anonette is hopeful for the future | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/27/23 (Fri) 16:39:50 No.29360229 File: 1672044629539826.png (507 KB, 860x765) >one day I will date a guy >one day I will wear his hoodies >one day he will playfully pick me up >one day I will get bridally carried >one day he will pin me down during sex >one day we will have cute dates sightseeing at museums and aquariums >one day I will listen to him autistically infodump about whatever interests him >one day I will massage him and let him rest his head in your lap after a long day The future is bright, sisters

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Anon's daughter is trans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB PNG 02/05/23(Sun)09:57:52 No.29478391 >son decided he wants to be a woman 4 years ago >goes against our religion but he's the only family I have left since I've p----- off the rest of the family to the point they won't speak with me. >try to keep contact with him but it hurts thinking of how he's going to walk around like some kind of drag queen >only talk on the phone, never see him for 4 years >have heard his "voice" once in a while, sounds fairly feminine but he sticks to his natural voice when I call in >drive out to visit him for the first time in years >he looks almost exactly like his mother did when she was his age >has a bf and lives as a regular woman without any spectacle or anything How did that work out - my son was a grown man, and as far as I know he didn't even get surgery. He even acts like a woman, worrying about the nice towels and the good plates and that sort of b-------.

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Anon drives a car | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/02/13(Wed)19:47 No.28612461 Replies: >>28612507 >>28612537 >>28612602 >>28612690 >>2861273 >watch Drive with friend >calls me up one day to pick him up and drive him somewhere >preparing, I put on a cool jacket, put on some gloves (cool) and quickly download the OST of Drive >I drive up to his place >he is waiting, along with two girls, one of whom I remember from back in high school but never spoke to >l greet them with a slight nod, but don't say a word as they come in >friend is smiling, doesn't laugh though, so as not to break my act >>the girl from high school sits in the passenger's seat, I always had a crush on her >she starts talking to me >I always take five seconds before answering her questions as shortly as possible >we just drive silently, while the OST is playing >next day, my friend says the girl was asking about me a lot > "Really? What did she say?" >my friend doesn't respond because he doesn't exist >I have no friends >there were no girls > stare at the ceiling of my bedroom

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anon finds the emperor suspicious | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 390 KB PNG 02/08/23(Wed)15:41:37 No.135430218 >be on movie poster >be extremely powerful incan emperor >shows up in the last scene of the movie >pretends to be your wife in full drag >breaks the 4th wall >gets covered in cheese >refuses to elaborate >completely vanishes from existence for the rest of the movie with 0 acknowledgement from other characters what did kuzco mean by this?

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Anon is a wizard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 104 KB PNG >turns green >mfw 7 Replies 06/10/20(Wed)02:36:44 No.82965001- >at a stop light >light is red "go green.... NOW >still red "go green... NOW >still red "go green... NOW View Thread

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Anon finally understands Obi-Wan | /r/Greentext

9h (7/24 7:25) 171542194 242 Re 20 Img JPG 300KB (1400x1400) 25 Replies . >You WILL give me two free slaves, a free ship, and a large soda in exchange for a stack of worthless Zimbabwe dollars what was his f------ problem :

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Greentext Stories - This greentext is a wonderful parable about how we attribute our failures to external causes instead...

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: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/25/21 (Wed)09:01:20 No.16600087 >Reads recipe >Changes it significantly, substituting many ingredients, using differing cooking times and temperatures >Recipe comes out tasting bad >"Wow, this recipe is so s---!"

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