pact of the archfey: "your patron is a lord or lady of the fey, a creature of legend who holds secrets that were forgotten before the mortal races were born. This being's motivations are often inscrutable, and sometimes whimsical." (I love these warlocks) | Dungeons and Dragons | Know Your Meme
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48 Views • Created 3 months ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 3 months ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated 3 months ago

pact of the archfey: "your patron is a lord or lady of the fey, a creature of legend who holds secrets that were forgotten before the mortal races were born. This being's motivations are often inscrutable, and sometimes whimsical." (I love these warlocks)

SORCERER: "WHY ARE YOU WRITING A LETTER? COME PARTY WITH US, WE SLEWA HELLS DAMNED HAG!" FEYLOCK: "SORRY GUYS, I HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT THIS TO MY PATRON. THEY WERE EXPECTING TO HEAR BACK FROM ME." SORCERER: "AH OKAY, I GET IT, YOU'RE TRYING TO BOAST ABOUT IT TO YOUR FEY FRIEND AREN'T YOU?" BARBARIAN: "I THINK HE'S TRYING TO IMPRESS THEM OR SOMETHING, PERHAPS HIS PATRON IS SOME KIND OF FEY PRINCESS?" WIZARD: "COME TO THINK OF IT, HE HAS NEVER SPECIFIED WHAT KIND OF ARCHFEY HE HAS A PACT WITH" SORCERER: "WHATEVER FEY IT IS, HE SURE SEEMES TO BE TRYING TO KEEP THEM HAPPY* THE HAG COVEN THAT IS THE FEYLOCK'S PATRON HAG 2: THAT OLD SWAMP HAG THAT WAS STEALING MY POTION INGREDIENTS? WELL WELL, THE KID IS SHOWING INITIATIVE HAG 3: "HEHIHA, WRITE BACK TO HIM AND SAY THAT HE GETS AN EXTRA INVOCATION FOR THAT HAG 1: "REJOICE SISTERS, OUR WARLOCK RAPPORTS THAT HE HAS KILLED MURKY MATHILDA imgflip.com
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    Roblox is destroying lives

    Anonymous member 7h A I wrote this to a senior employee of Roblox today. We are absolutely devastated how it is impacting our family. Dear You are the first person I found on LinkedIn who works for Roblox. I am a mother of a 11yr old boy in Australia and today I am writing to share with you that you and your employer are in the business of spoiling kids and family lives. Last week my son played Roblox for 11 hrs (after having played for 6/8/10) in the past few weeks. He did not pee, eat or sleep. Next day when we took his school laptop away he hit and kicked both me and my husband, wished that we died and left him alone, screamed at the top of his lungs, begged us, fell at our feet and cried his eyes out to get his screen back. When we said we need to negotiate a balance between his digital gaming time and other real activities he took to other screens in the house and watched you tubers playing roblox. He's obsessed and so are many other kids in our family and friends circle. It is heartbreaking to see what you guys have created and continue to build to make sure kids are attached like worms to it. Just to make money? Have you ever thought the impact you and your company are having on people's mental health and physical now. It is shameful. I implore you to respond to my message. 55 70 comments
    Anonymous member 7h A I wrote this to a senior employee of Roblox today. We are absolutely devastated how it is impacting our family. Dear You are the first person I found on LinkedIn who works for Roblox. I am a mother of a 11yr old boy in Australia and today I am writing to share with you that you and your employer are in the business of spoiling kids and family lives. Last week my son played Roblox for 11 hrs (after having played for 6/8/10) in the past few weeks. He did not pee, eat or sleep. Next day when we took his school laptop away he hit and kicked both me and my husband, wished that we died and left him alone, screamed at the top of his lungs, begged us, fell at our feet and cried his eyes out to get his screen back. When we said we need to negotiate a balance between his digital gaming time and other real activities he took to other screens in the house and watched you tubers playing roblox. He's obsessed and so are many other kids in our family and friends circle. It is heartbreaking to see what you guys have created and continue to build to make sure kids are attached like worms to it. Just to make money? Have you ever thought the impact you and your company are having on people's mental health and physical now. It is shameful. I implore you to respond to my message. 55 70 comments
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups roblox

    What the actual...

    15h My husband has dared me to snort some Toxic Waste sour candy and he'll give me $100 if I do it. He's gonna crush up the small candy disc for me and then yeah...only thing is is that I'm 6 months pregnant lol...I want the money cuz he gives me a $100 allowance every month and then this would be another $100 for the month.... should I do it or no? Lol Edit: I'm quite spoiled during the month and no $100 is not the only money I'm able to spend. We're sort of on a budget and me spending $300 on fastfood without asking was kind of not sticking to the budget when we were trying to fix up the house last year. Our budget is not as tight as it used to be like last year thanks to him getting a better job and a raise. It's just an extra bonus money that I get in my hand every month, it's not really necessary anymore now that we're not on a tight budget anymore but I'm not gonna complain about it. If I asked for something usually he says yes. If I do the snorting candy part, I'll just be doing a lil bit, like the tip of my pinky amount, not the whole damn thing, that would be insane, negligent, and would definitely affect the baby. 90 326 comments
    15h My husband has dared me to snort some Toxic Waste sour candy and he'll give me $100 if I do it. He's gonna crush up the small candy disc for me and then yeah...only thing is is that I'm 6 months pregnant lol...I want the money cuz he gives me a $100 allowance every month and then this would be another $100 for the month.... should I do it or no? Lol Edit: I'm quite spoiled during the month and no $100 is not the only money I'm able to spend. We're sort of on a budget and me spending $300 on fastfood without asking was kind of not sticking to the budget when we were trying to fix up the house last year. Our budget is not as tight as it used to be like last year thanks to him getting a better job and a raise. It's just an extra bonus money that I get in my hand every month, it's not really necessary anymore now that we're not on a tight budget anymore but I'm not gonna complain about it. If I asked for something usually he says yes. If I do the snorting candy part, I'll just be doing a lil bit, like the tip of my pinky amount, not the whole damn thing, that would be insane, negligent, and would definitely affect the baby. 90 326 comments
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups

    No way

    15m b Hi FTM here! I have a 3 week old we were feeding the first two weeks but we just switch to goats milk with b t milk here and there! My baby boy keeps being super fussy after he eats he takes 4 oz and will sleep maybe 3 mins then wake up screaming! I know it's either gas of reflux or possibly this formula but I need advice on how to help relieve his gas or what I can give him bring so young. He will arch his head and back like it's gas but I'm so lost I don't know what to do! Also if you use goats milk what brand do you use! microingredients GOAT MILK GMO free POWDER premium - farm direct soy free gluten free 2 lb (907 g) Powder Nutrition Facts Directions Calories 35 to Me Distibuted
    15m b Hi FTM here! I have a 3 week old we were feeding the first two weeks but we just switch to goats milk with b t milk here and there! My baby boy keeps being super fussy after he eats he takes 4 oz and will sleep maybe 3 mins then wake up screaming! I know it's either gas of reflux or possibly this formula but I need advice on how to help relieve his gas or what I can give him bring so young. He will arch his head and back like it's gas but I'm so lost I don't know what to do! Also if you use goats milk what brand do you use! microingredients GOAT MILK GMO free POWDER premium - farm direct soy free gluten free 2 lb (907 g) Powder Nutrition Facts Directions Calories 35 to Me Distibuted
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups

    HUGE DIFFERENCE

    Moms Oh 0 Has anyone tried or heard of using Waymans frozen “wild blueberries" to cure their diseases such as ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, mental illness, lupus, etc? Edited to post I'm looking for information specifically on "WILD BLUEBERRIES" not "blueberries". "Wild blueberries" are GOD given "Blueberries" are man planted. HUGE DIFFERENCE !!!!!!!!! 1 ✓ Like Comment 20 comments Send
    Moms Oh 0 Has anyone tried or heard of using Waymans frozen “wild blueberries" to cure their diseases such as ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, mental illness, lupus, etc? Edited to post I'm looking for information specifically on "WILD BLUEBERRIES" not "blueberries". "Wild blueberries" are GOD given "Blueberries" are man planted. HUGE DIFFERENCE !!!!!!!!! 1 ✓ Like Comment 20 comments Send
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups

    Glitter? ...Promise?

    Remember they put glitter in Tylenol. Tylenol is the biggest purchaser of glitter 1h Like Reply
    Remember they put glitter in Tylenol. Tylenol is the biggest purchaser of glitter 1h Like Reply
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups

    Wow

    I blocked my step daughter. Anyone else dealt with disrespectful manipulative step children? Seems harsh but I am no longer tolerating disrespect and her causing issues between me and her father. She always acts like the grass is greener elsewhere, now she has to deal with her mother and her boyfriend of the week. ney I am sorry about what I uiu Call talk to my dad? Do you really think sorry is enough? You continue to disrespect me in MY house in front of MY children. Until you can learn to respect me no you can't speak to your father. We are a team and your manipulation will no longer work in separating my household. Sorry is not enough try again in a couple weeks. When you have had enough time to think about what you do. Read 11:33 PM Please :( I have no one to talk to Eric is drunk and screaming at mom. I feel scared here I am sorry and will never disrespect you again. You know the situation you were in at your mom's. But you still choose to disrespect me, roll your eyes constantly, go to bed whenever you feel like it. To complain to your dad that I treat you differently? Knowing the issues you would cause? Sorry like I said try again in a few weeks. I will also be blocking your number. Delivered
    I blocked my step daughter. Anyone else dealt with disrespectful manipulative step children? Seems harsh but I am no longer tolerating disrespect and her causing issues between me and her father. She always acts like the grass is greener elsewhere, now she has to deal with her mother and her boyfriend of the week. ney I am sorry about what I uiu Call talk to my dad? Do you really think sorry is enough? You continue to disrespect me in MY house in front of MY children. Until you can learn to respect me no you can't speak to your father. We are a team and your manipulation will no longer work in separating my household. Sorry is not enough try again in a couple weeks. When you have had enough time to think about what you do. Read 11:33 PM Please :( I have no one to talk to Eric is drunk and screaming at mom. I feel scared here I am sorry and will never disrespect you again. You know the situation you were in at your mom's. But you still choose to disrespect me, roll your eyes constantly, go to bed whenever you feel like it. To complain to your dad that I treat you differently? Knowing the issues you would cause? Sorry like I said try again in a few weeks. I will also be blocking your number. Delivered
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups

    Texting matches when they are traveling? | Bumble

    Also happy birthday!!! Have a great day Delivered 8:51AM * Jill is on-the-go Jill is travelling! Check in with them once they're back on Bumble For Friends! Aa GIF
    Also happy birthday!!! Have a great day Delivered 8:51AM * Jill is on-the-go Jill is travelling! Check in with them once they're back on Bumble For Friends! Aa GIF
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    A literal baby

    My 9 month old has developed quite the temper, and I don't know how to curb it. He has also started to yell all of the time, but especially during meal times. We can't even enjoy a meal anymore because of his yelling. Any advice?!?! Please!! ✓ Like Top comments Comment Send
    My 9 month old has developed quite the temper, and I don't know how to curb it. He has also started to yell all of the time, but especially during meal times. We can't even enjoy a meal anymore because of his yelling. Any advice?!?! Please!! ✓ Like Top comments Comment Send
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups

    Maybe fork out the money

    F This is maybe a very controversial question...but do you ever leave your kids alone once they're asleep? We have zero "village" no parents/siblings close, or friends we can switch off with. We've been paying a babysitter $20/hour, which generally averages out to $100/night or so to come over and literally sit on our couch while our son sleeps. He goes to bed at 7:45pm and sleeps through the night every single night/has no idea we've even left. When we do this, we're places anywhere 5-20 minutes from our home (not far). We also have a nanit camera that we can see and HEAR - it's literally like a baby monitor on my phone- wherever we're at. So...are we crazy for paying for a sitter to sit in our couch and do nothing? At this point it seems crazy it's been 10+ times and over $1,000 for literally nothing. Does anyone just take the monitor and go 5 min down the road? Looking for real opinions here- our baby (17 months) is our entire life and I'll do/spend any amount for him to be safe- but the amount we've spent for someone to sit around when *we're so close to home* seems kinda silly. Like Comment Copy
    F This is maybe a very controversial question...but do you ever leave your kids alone once they're asleep? We have zero "village" no parents/siblings close, or friends we can switch off with. We've been paying a babysitter $20/hour, which generally averages out to $100/night or so to come over and literally sit on our couch while our son sleeps. He goes to bed at 7:45pm and sleeps through the night every single night/has no idea we've even left. When we do this, we're places anywhere 5-20 minutes from our home (not far). We also have a nanit camera that we can see and HEAR - it's literally like a baby monitor on my phone- wherever we're at. So...are we crazy for paying for a sitter to sit in our couch and do nothing? At this point it seems crazy it's been 10+ times and over $1,000 for literally nothing. Does anyone just take the monitor and go 5 min down the road? Looking for real opinions here- our baby (17 months) is our entire life and I'll do/spend any amount for him to be safe- but the amount we've spent for someone to sit around when *we're so close to home* seems kinda silly. Like Comment Copy
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups babysitting

    Exploit those kids

    < Anonymous member ⚫ 29m What does the hive think about a "professional flower girl service?" My 5 yo loves attending weddings, dancing, and flowers. ✓ Like Q Comment Send
    < Anonymous member ⚫ 29m What does the hive think about a "professional flower girl service?" My 5 yo loves attending weddings, dancing, and flowers. ✓ Like Q Comment Send
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups

    This is creepy

    Hi mamas!! What do you do when your beautiful baby boy (only 19) wants to start dating? I was his first love and I just can't imagine another girl it's hard
    Hi mamas!! What do you do when your beautiful baby boy (only 19) wants to start dating? I was his first love and I just can't imagine another girl it's hard
    /r/shitmomgroupssay facebook fb kids parenting insane parents insane people moms mom groups boy moms boy mom boys yikes dating

    Oh yikes

    Anonymous member 2h 8 Should I be concerned? My child who is five came up to me crying bc they said Jesus said he was going to kill them. And this was a thought in their head. I told my child that wasn't God saying that to them and to pray to keep those evil thoughts away. That was the first thing I thought to say in that moment. But is this thought something I should be concerned about. How should I approach this? They are fine now. They prayed (which was so cute) and all is good but they were really sad and crying. 7 31 comments ✓ Like Comment Send
    Anonymous member 2h 8 Should I be concerned? My child who is five came up to me crying bc they said Jesus said he was going to kill them. And this was a thought in their head. I told my child that wasn't God saying that to them and to pray to keep those evil thoughts away. That was the first thing I thought to say in that moment. But is this thought something I should be concerned about. How should I approach this? They are fine now. They prayed (which was so cute) and all is good but they were really sad and crying. 7 31 comments ✓ Like Comment Send
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    Poor kid

    Anonymous member ⚫4h How do I tell my 11yr old daughter she's not a good singer? She's not the world's worst and probably wouldn't clear out a karaoke bar and her friend's might clap but that would be it. I don't want to hurt her feelings but she's not taking my gentle hints of... That's not your best talent or something like that ✓ Like 82 ☐ Comment Send
    Anonymous member ⚫4h How do I tell my 11yr old daughter she's not a good singer? She's not the world's worst and probably wouldn't clear out a karaoke bar and her friend's might clap but that would be it. I don't want to hurt her feelings but she's not taking my gentle hints of... That's not your best talent or something like that ✓ Like 82 ☐ Comment Send
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    Sigh

    18:54 In The Know 4h. 28 Pediatrician needed! I'm looking for a newborn pediatrician who is open to modified vaccine schedules and is accepting new patients. Thanks! ✓ Like Q Comment 5 Top comments ✓ Send If you decide to opt out of vaccines completely, in 's amazing! All he sees now are vaccine injured kids :( 2h Like Reply this is the 4 dumbest, most uneducated thing I've ever seen in this group. 1h Like Reply Write a reply... 8
    18:54 In The Know 4h. 28 Pediatrician needed! I'm looking for a newborn pediatrician who is open to modified vaccine schedules and is accepting new patients. Thanks! ✓ Like Q Comment 5 Top comments ✓ Send If you decide to opt out of vaccines completely, in 's amazing! All he sees now are vaccine injured kids :( 2h Like Reply this is the 4 dumbest, most uneducated thing I've ever seen in this group. 1h Like Reply Write a reply... 8
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    Perhaps not

    So our 7 month old uses formula. In the last month though, he has been going through a TON of formula. He's constantly hungry, which makes me think he needs more calories during his feeds. Someone told us to add like box mashed potatoes... but I'm curious to know if you guys might have other ideas or suggestions. 7 47 comments
    So our 7 month old uses formula. In the last month though, he has been going through a TON of formula. He's constantly hungry, which makes me think he needs more calories during his feeds. Someone told us to add like box mashed potatoes... but I'm curious to know if you guys might have other ideas or suggestions. 7 47 comments
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    No negative comments, please

    ! No negative comments Do any of you Moms know of any good suitable vegan alternatives to b milk for little ones? Thanks in advance 30 104 comments
    ! No negative comments Do any of you Moms know of any good suitable vegan alternatives to b milk for little ones? Thanks in advance 30 104 comments
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    Um...

    abi Tips to get my girl to sleep longer? I put a hoodie in there so her bassinet smells like me... it's constantly warm for her.... and she gets oatmeal and rice in bottles. Help!!! This mama needs more than 4 hour stretches!!! HO FRY-DAY
    abi Tips to get my girl to sleep longer? I put a hoodie in there so her bassinet smells like me... it's constantly warm for her.... and she gets oatmeal and rice in bottles. Help!!! This mama needs more than 4 hour stretches!!! HO FRY-DAY
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