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Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)01:07:51 No.61717938 >>61717966 >>61718041 >>61716943 (OP) >Playing Starbound >Hear about the Sexbound mod >Install it for a giggle and f--- around the galaxy >One submod allows pregnancy, kids grow up after a few in-game days >Another submod allows NPCs to get horny over time. When they max out their libido score, they find sex-compatible furniture. NPCs will f--- each other if they pick the same place to get off. >Install both and hatch a hare-brained scheme to make a colony that will grow over time >Soon I have attracted a male and a couple of female colonists >I leave them to it Here's where the holes in my plan started to happen: >NPCs don't care who they f--- >Took a while for one of the women to get pregnant because they'd f--- each other and leave the man hanging or be in the "top" position during sex with him >No limits on their libido while pregnant, either >When their sons and daughters grew up, they f----- them too >Population explodes, can't keep up with building areas for them to spread into >The sound that all females make during sex is their species' default hurt sound. This plays over the sound of a bed rocking >For some reason, my dumb brain decided this was the sexiest sound in the world >Jerk it while placing blocks and furniture >Absolutely disgusted with myself because what's going on is 90% i----- at that point >So horny I stop building and have my character join in >Feel the need to continue jerking immediately after COOMing >Takes three COOMS before the post-nut clarity (and dull ache of shooting too much j--- out) kicks in >Warp out of the colony, never to return >Delete the teleporter's address from my ship's bookmarks >Character was female >She gave birth to a son onboard her ship a few minutes later >Missed the pregnancy message while she was getting f----- >There's no way to get son off the ship >As soon as he is an adult, he jumps in bed with a security officer and gets her pregnant >Exit out of the game, uninstall mods >Don't play again for two years

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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All for a dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/24(Tue)19:47:25 No. 198312590 IMG_4596.jpg 20 KB JPG >No, let me die a torturous death, because then you can sort of keep your super powers a secret from society, and also, it will be incredibly symbolic and memorable for the audience watching this film

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anon sleeps with a teddy bear | /r/Greentext

File: vtb-23846-18ohsosoftteddy(...).jpg (161 KB, 1000x1000) ☐ Weird dreams thread Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)23:55:07 No.917067826 >> What the f--- does this mean? Just woke up after having a really weird dream and now I can't sleep. Guess I'll share for whoever is up. Also weird dreams thread. >dream I'm getting woken up by my childhood teddy bear Choochoo (pic unrelated) >it's kinda my childhood house, kinda my current apartment, the way dreams can be ambiguous >Choochoo is saying "[my childhood nickname] wake up, wake up" and shaking me >"I have to go poopoo, and it's so dark" >and it is dark, the way dreams are dark >I don't question it because it's a dream, I pick up choochoo and we start walking down this impossibly long dark hallway >Choochoo is saying "hurry, it's coming" as I run down this labyrinthian hallway holding my teddy bear >Finally, we see the light of the bathroom, I rush in and out choochoo on the toilet >the little guy strains and pushes and finally with tears in his eyes he's done >I look in the toilet and see a turd bigger than a tallboy, and then I look at choochoo and see that hes ripped his a------ open all the way to his teddy bear b-------- >it makes a long gash, and looks almost like a p---- > finger Choochoo's butt p---- and immediately wake up >my d--- is hard Anonymous 04/18/24(Thu)00:54:41 No.917069105 I dreamt about my mom and girlfriend making out and f------ at my funeral. Woke up in a cold sweat with a hard on. Woke the gf up and f-----.

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Anon and milk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sydney Sweeney fires back at '(...) 1.4 MB PNG 04/17/24(Wed)20:42:32 No.198362820 >"How sad that a woman in the position to share her expertise and experience chooses instead to attack another woman. If that's what she's learned in her decades in the industry and feels is appropriate to teach to her students, that's shameful. To unjustly disparage a fellow female producer speaks volumes about Ms. Baum's character." https://www.the-express.com/entertainment/celebrity- news/134760/Sydney-Sweeney-fires-back-Carol-Baum Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)20:44:35 No. 198362885 she should fire milk from those udders straight into my mouth if im being quite honest >>198363310 # >>198363627 # >>198363841 # >>198363938 # >>198364309 # >>198364335 # >>198364409 # >>198364502 # >>198364650 # >>198364914 # >>198364950 # >>198364990 # >>198365196 # >>198365814 # >>198365835 # >>198366010 # >>198367058 # >>198367563 # >>198367819 # >>198367905 #

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Anon has a fight with his coworker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I'm in legal trouble 54 KB JPG 04/12/24(Fri)18:00:56 No.77109299 >had fight with female coworker who insulted me for no reason >I was being extremely cruel and telling her that her life had no meaning, her husband hates her, she's worthless etc... >she fell to her knees and started rocking back and forth and crying, facing away from me, I keep repeating the same insults while she has her mental breakdown. >she suddenly stops. >I look at her to see if she's alright: apparently when she was rocking back and forth she was deliberately hitting her face against a hard surface, her entire face is completely mangled up and she will need extensive surgery just to look deformed by the end. I had no idea she was doing that. >I am being sued for attempted murder despite not even touching her. >no one will believe my story. : Anonymous 04/12/24(Fri)18:04:32 No. 77109338 honestly anon I find it hard to believe that she was hitting her head hard enough to mangle it and you thought it was a simple rocking back and forth.

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Lore purists are funny | /r/Greentext

Anonymous So Vault tech nuked America There's a lot of earning potential with the end of the world. 534 KB JPG 04/16/24(Tue)23:06:46 No.673665312 Let me get this straight. For over 20 years the lore was >China launched the first strike Now it's >these greedy capitalist organisation run by greedy rich billionaires deliberately nuked the world so they could run these obscure experiments on people vaults This is your lore when it's written by Indians. Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)02:15:01 No.67367628 >>673665312 (OP) 411 KB PNG

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Anon doesn't have netflix | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 220 KB JPG TV now? 04/18/24(Thu)06:54:40 No.198358421 >anon, what are you doing with that really long cable from behind your TV? >oh you're just charging your laptop? >wait...what do you mean the movie will come from the laptop? >w-- why is your laptop on the >ummm why does your browser have like 50 tabs open? >we have to wait for what? a torrent? >anon just open netflix??? >anon I don't know what a VPN is or why it's not working right now. >ok anon I gotta go now, bye Door closes.

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Anon hates modern headlights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 2bl0sn4V 04/17/24(Wed)14:21:42 No.465324838 >>465332008 >>465332250 File: 5905088eiis81.jpg (118 KB, 1247x939) >>465320228 (OP) >Muh heart attacks of boomers that would have died from a cold breeze of air 5 minutes later anyway >Not how they're blinding people and causing crashes due to, ironically, lack of vision I HATE JOURNOSCUM. And i hate LED headlights. Not the technology itself, but the execution and legal aspects. I only need to see far enough to stop in time and it only needs to be bright enough to see the road. Same for everyone else. Bulbs achieved this purpose already. The warm yellow instead of harsh blue was comfy. Best was what we called "french yellow" but i suppose zoomers and burgers don't know about that. But wait, there's more! >Headlights used to be glass and could be polished clear again if they turned milky after 20 years >Light element separate from housing, cheap and easy DIY fix, bulbs at every gas station for chump change >Now they're plastic and the LED cluster is integral with the housing >Also it's illegal to replace individual LEDs, gotta change the whole cluster because it's a "EU certified" part you're not allowed to "manipulate". >A 5 euro problem is now a 1000 euro problem >Normie: hurr hurr just leasecu*k and accept ever more assisted driving and surveillance, what are you, some sort of "ewiggestriger" ("eternalpaster", our version of deplorable, you're not allowed to notice things are getting worse if f--- say it's "progress" for "safety") I felt pride, solidarity and childlike joy when plebbitors were seething that Ivans systematically destroyed every EV they could find. Everything after 2012 should be destroyed. It's when sensor and nanny mania began. Pic related, says "Elon Musk is a d---" for making the rolling antichrist abomination from Demolition Man real. After they neutralized it so it can't do any more harm, of course. TOTAL MODERNCAR DEATH.

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Short kings... its so over. Will we recover? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: OiYA7jUW) 38 KB JPG 03/22/24(Fri)12:20:47 No.462551304 >tfw not 8'11 Chad It's over Anonymous (ID: eAIE5ddf 03/22/24(Fri)12:21:38 No.462551371 >>462551304 (OP) # the way they look at him bros... 6'3cels it's over.

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Anon loves Shanin Blake | /r/Greentext

1/7 2Ar6DpPt (OP) US 39m (04/16/24 22:13) 465221898 108 Re 17 Img JPG 342KB (1440x1799) GJvpldQXEAA6Bha.jpg_large.jpg 42 Replies Shanin Blake >understands race >hates the government >understands natural healing powers >rejects goyslop > understands what the pyramids are for >won't go near n >convers with the mixed olmecs to find out more about blue eyes golden skinned hyberboreans of times past >openly expresses that she loves her race No wonder fat goys, ni ers, and jews hate her. 1/1 BL5b9Gka US 38m (04/16/24 22:14) 465222004 4 Replies >>465221898 (OP) WHAT THE F--- IS THAT

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Anon gives a lonely guy a chance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 252 KB JPG 12/15/17(Fri)22:28:01 No.9722834 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.

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Anon the window counter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)16:51:08 No.72163100 >Be me. NEET f-- >Go to pick up my little brother from his school. >Standing outside waiting with other parents. >Autistic so I look up at the school and start counting the windows. >Notice movement in one if the windows. >Its a pigeon trapped between the glass and window drape. W--.png >Kids come out with their teachers. >Tell little bro to go and let his teacher know about the bird. Good deed of the day.mp4 >We leave after he come back FF to next day. >Pick up bro again. Ask him about his teacher and her reaction to the bird problem. MFW he tells me, "They saved the bird. But she also laughed at you for just looking up and staring at windows."

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Anon's GF experiments with Meme Magic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/21(Thu)23:37:30 No.9970552 >>9970421 okay let me try >relaxing one day texting your gf >she says she's got a surprise >ground trembles suddenly >EARTHQUAKE! >shadow falls over your backyard >it's GF >she's 200 feet tall and practically bouncing with energy >"Anon anon it finally happened I'm huge!" >nothing in your life so far has prepared you for this situation >"H-how" >"Anon I was on that website you said I shouldn't go to and I got like 5 digits in a row in my reply post where I said tfw I will never grow 200 feet tall and have a boyfriend who respawns on death!" >oh god she's powered by meme magic >p-praise kek? >"Okay let's see if the other half of my post worked" >giant shoe blocks out the sun >yell "wait" but she stomps down >oh f--- that hurts >all your bones break >feel yourself pop >blink and you're standing in your backyard next to her giant foot >unharmed >lifts up and there's a red stain where you were in your lawn chair a minute ago >scoops you up and holds you in front of her face >"Anon I'm gonna go smash up downtown wanna come?" >nod feebly >"Okay great you wanna ride in my hair or somewhere... dirty teehee" >shakily pull up /x/ on your smartphone and start asking how meme magic works

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Greentext Stories - Anon plays Starbound | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)01:07:51 No.61717938 >>61717966 >>61718041 >>61716943 (OP) >Playing Starbound >Hear about the Sexbound mod >Install it for a giggle and f--- around the galaxy >One submod allows pregnancy, kids grow up after a few in-game days >Another submod allows NPCs to get horny over time. When they max out their libido score, they find sex-compatible furniture. NPCs will f--- each other if they pick the same place to get off. >Install both and hatch a hare-brained scheme to make a colony that will grow over time >Soon I have attracted a male and a couple of female colonists >I leave them to it Here's where the holes in my plan started to happen: >NPCs don't care who they f--- >Took a while for one of the women to get pregnant because they'd f--- each other and leave the man hanging or be in the "top" position during sex with him >No limits on their libido while pregnant, either >When their sons and daughters grew up, they f----- them too >Population explodes, can't keep up with building areas for them to spread into >The sound that all females make during sex is their species' default hurt sound. This plays over the sound of a bed rocking >For some reason, my dumb brain decided this was the sexiest sound in the world >Jerk it while placing blocks and furniture >Absolutely disgusted with myself because what's going on is 90% i----- at that point >So horny I stop building and have my character join in >Feel the need to continue jerking immediately after COOMing >Takes three COOMS before the post-nut clarity (and dull ache of shooting too much j--- out) kicks in >Warp out of the colony, never to return >Delete the teleporter's address from my ship's bookmarks >Character was female >She gave birth to a son onboard her ship a few minutes later >Missed the pregnancy message while she was getting f----- >There's no way to get son off the ship >As soon as he is an adult, he jumps in bed with a security officer and gets her pregnant >Exit out of the game, uninstall mods >Don't play again for two years

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