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Paleontology

37 Views • Created 2 days ago By KimmyDude • Updated a day ago

Created By KimmyDude • Updated a day ago

The virgin skeletal vs the chad speculative reconstruction

Dull conventional nasal anatomy Hair not preserved in the fossil record Unappealing toothy grin All bones and no skin Puny size based on actual measurements Big sexy flesh snorkle 50 cm Unimaginative short and straight neck Nonexistent hands useless for communication Boring continuous spine profile based on other boring fossils The Virgin Skeletal Useless lizardy tail goes on forever Plodding gait limited by laws of nature No soft tissue features of any description Bonus: Always black and white, no color Often missing all sorts of necessary parts If present, soft tissue outline just muscle and skin Always in a hurry to run somewhere Cold and distant Image source: Gregorz Niedbeiedzki, Tomasz Salej, and Jerry Duik (2012) Glorious hair defies phylogenetic bracketing THE CHAD SPECULATIVE RECONSTRUCTION Long neck always arched expect the unexpected Concavenator-inspired sail humps Tail ends in a modern pygostyle Inviting luscious bear lips Soft tissue frill just for the heck of it Size limited only by imagination Versatile hands capable of sophisticated memetic communication Mette-19 Swinging gait defies gravity Flashy iridescent feathers irresistable to the opposite sex MANDATORY: Gaudy conflicting color scheme Anatomy not limited by parsimony Extra fat and skin everywhere Takes it easy, naps when feels like it Charismatic and inviting
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Paleontology

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