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Anonymous 306 KB JPG 08/09/24(Fri)02:26:48 No.78437067 >cute girl comes over >I make dinner or we order takeout >she pretends to enjoy my company >she picks a movie >we watch it and split a bottle of wine >afterwards she goes home How can I buy this experience? I feel like it shouldn't cost more than 200-300 for the evening, but hookers want 5x that for a few hours. Craigslist personals is gone and I'm newly divorced and lost

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon figures out what's wrong with him | /r/Greentext

1h (08/06/24 19:14) 78414398 0 Re - 0 Img JPG 61KB (940 × 1024) 1713167391698400.jpg >waiting at the work elevator by myself >a dude appears >scrawnier, paler, shorter, more recessed chin, worse receded hairline, and wearing an abysmal t-shirt >"Finally, someone uglier than me" >a few moments later a qt walks by >"Byyyeee Cody, have a nice night!" she in a kind and borderline seductive voice >"You too Vanessa" >"Thaaankkksss :)" After all this time I've finally realized that it really is just my personality that's the problem.

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Anon doing whatever this is | /r/Greentext

File: 1375447446903.jpg-(2 KB, 126x126, 1316184738105s.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 045zgJJp) 08/02/13(Fri)08:44:06 No.497225007 >decide I need to clean my intestines out >fast for 3 days to begin my journey to shitgri-la >third day begins >need something to eat >at this point I have survived by drinking Gatorade to keep my blood sugar up, I am a s--- monk, left bedridden >ingest three colon cleansers, a whole can of sauerkraut, 2 liters of water >go to sleep for four hours >wake up, feel my ass getting ready to drop a fat man on nagassaki >sit on my ivory throne of ascension >unleash ungodly fart that lasts for 3 minutes straight >the smell is so bad my dog leaves the bathroom(he was my only companion in this troubled time, and he had forsaken me) >the s---- begin >all is well first, until I feel s--- moving inside of me >now it's liquid lava concrete pouring out my ass >feel something huge coming after 15 minutes of this >it gets stuck >start crying and make amends with jesus, buddha, hitler, bob marley, allah, and charles manson >it begins >s--- flies at mach 2 out my ass >it's huge chunky s--- thats red hot >feels like shards >meanwhile an IV drip of shitwater is coming out my ass >my toilet is filling with s---, this is how I die >it subsides >something long is dangling out my ass and squirming >oh f--- oh f--- >theres a tapeworm coming out my ass >this f----- is long, he's touching the water >start screaming HELP ME BABY JESUS while smashing the flush lever as much as possible >my f------ dog comes back in, leaves because of the smell >the tapeworm rips in half due to the suction of the water >concentrate my tantric force, I can feel the worm returning to the safe haven of my a------ >drop the muscle power in my anus, reach down and grab tapeworm, pull what must be 10 feet of worm down into toilet > once all is said and down, I go take the longest f------ shower ever, lie in my bed naked and cry in the fetal position >I never asked for this knowledge of the beast that dwells in my ass Don't fiddle with the doors that sauerkraut unlocks anons, you might not enjoy what is behind them. Replies: >>497226069 Anonymous (ID: 4FuslEXA) 08/02/13(Fri)08:49:04 No.497225510 thats f------ terrifying. Anonymous (ID: PIRQUAHY) 08/02/13(Fri)08:52:07 No.497225783 11/10

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Anon spreads offensive speech | /r/Greentext

08/08/24(Thu)17:40:28 No.477528120 > get punched in the face > tell people that you got punched in the face > government and medias blame you for spreading "offensive" information that may lead to a fight Anonymous (ID: +uDntHem ) UK right now 米

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Anon may have found love | /r/Greentext

File: anon.png (29 KB, 778x512) Anonymous 10/11/19(Fri)20:53:15 No.54825693 >>54825712 >be me >18 >just started at uni >past 6 years of school killed me >come into uni an emotionless and pessimistic guy >meet girl >funny, cute, interesting >always nice to me >both of us are tall >she makes me smile after the longest time >forget all my struggles when she walks into the room >feel good whenever I'm with her >thinking of her makes me want to be better >she hugs me one day >tfw it felt like every broken piece in my body was squeezed back into place Is this love?

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Next level anon shit. Even happier ending. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 21 KB JPG 10/08/17(Sun)21:56:08 No.43141802 >in middle school >have friend who was shy and awkward looking >he had no luck with the ladies >at valentine's everyone but him got love letters from class and schoolmates >said he didn't mind >the following years on valentine's day i wrote anonymous love letters and slid them into his lockers >borrowed my mum's perfume and sprayed it on the letters and did the lipstick kisses and everything I went all in He seemed to be happy to have received letters for once. Then I played oblivious when people asked who they were from. I suggested it might have been a girl that he likes and he did actually end up getting together with her for a while after that so maybe it made him grew the balls to ask her out. >>43141832 # >>43141854 #

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Chad dodges a bullet AND does what’s right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 KB JPG 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Anon drives home from work | /r/Greentext

99 KB JPG Story time >Be me >Two years ago >Driving home from work because not neet >Want to get home quick because amazon said my new Sonic game was delivered >Everything going fine until car in front of me gets sideswiped, goes into median and rolls several times >I pull over and run over to her >Old woman inside >Alive but hurt >I open the door and pull her out >She's barely conscious but I check her out and she's not bleeding and probably not gonna die >Other people get out of their cars and come over >I want to play sonic so I leave her with them and go home Fast forward to two weeks ago >Be visiting super religious Grandparents >They've got some weird tv show on where they interview people who've seen angels >One woman comes on >Mfw it's the woman I helped out of the car >Mfw she tells the story of a handsome angel who pulled her out of a car after a bad accident and then disappeared >Mfw I'm an angel >Mfw a girl called me handsome

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Anon is liked by his peers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 04/22/19(Mon)12:13:12 No.798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >I always thought I was a social outcast >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman View Thread

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Feels good man, feels good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG you deserve!" 02/10/20(Mon)19:08:02 No.56673862 >be on bus with my pal >going home after work >he turns to me a with a stupid grin on his face >"Hey anon, you heard about that new restaurant called Karma?" >"uh... No. Why?" >"There's no menu, you get what >I chuckle for a bit >t'was a good joke >t'was a good day

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

Anon Ascended 25 KB JPG 12/07/17(Thu)20:20:40 No.41636302 >Be me, in biology class >teacher not here, so we watch House >I make a joke about the incesty father in the episode >girl next to me laughs and says "Man, I really hate you, anon." >I reply "Yeah, I get that alot." >She responds "Aww man, you know I was joking, right? You're honestly f------ hilarious." I truly feel alive now, never been happier

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Anon cheers up 5/10 sad woman | /r/Greentext

File: 1539425732309s.jpg (6 KB, 199x250) > say i need to go home saw sad woman on street Anonymous 10/13/18 (Sat) 1 > be me,M15 f----- > have bad day, walking home > see sad woman, 5/10 looks like she about to cry > idea.png > walk up to her > ask if shes ok "yeah im fine" > better_idea.jpg > "Hey...aren't you that Paris Fashion week Model???" > she looks suprised "What? no,im not a model and i could never be one" > say "not yet" > she looks happy af, like i just made her whole week better >gain nothing from it because gay and underaged "Thanks,i really needed that today" > made both our days better > time for heaven.org > pic not really related just what i thought of afterwards

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Anon notices | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 18bjlpQR) File: sdfsfs.png (744 KB, 982x792) | 08/08/24(Thu)09:59:18 No.477468668 >be 70 year old britbong >go to a protest and have a small truncheon in your hand >get sentenced to 5 years in prison SHAME ON YOU >be muzzle AAAAA >go to a protest and have a big machete in your hand >get celebrated as 'saviors of the muslim community' AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a gap in the market. | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 306 KB JPG 08/09/24(Fri)02:26:48 No.78437067 >cute girl comes over >I make dinner or we order takeout >she pretends to enjoy my company >she picks a movie >we watch it and split a bottle of wine >afterwards she goes home How can I buy this experience? I feel like it shouldn't cost more than 200-300 for the evening, but hookers want 5x that for a few hours. Craigslist personals is gone and I'm newly divorced and lost

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