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Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 17:46:43 No.140373892 Quoted By: >>140373981 >>140373997 >>140377744 >>140373772 Report "Harassment" is a pretty strong word to use, don't you think? Drones are only trying to bond with their Human co-workers. They get a little touchy sometimes, but they're only curious about their colleagues. HR was disbanded due to budget cuts. >>140373783 Do not worry, we understand that homosexuality is quite common in workplace settings. While male-on-male human relationships are technically not banned, a male drone will be assigned to those who request so. Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 17:54:06 No.140373997 Quoted By: >>140374158 >>140373892 >HR was disbanded Report And HoDR (Human on Drone Resources) was immediately instated in its place Yeva_and_Nori.jpg, 331KiB, 1500x1200 View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 18:06:12 No. 140374158 Report Quoted By: >>140374281 >>140374388 >>140374449 >>140374507 >>140375282 >>140375332 >>140375336 >>140375675 >>140377744 >>140373997 >HoDR was implemented across all companies after Cyn took power. >In return HR is eliminated across the board, removing many privileges Humans had. >Important topics such as "How to properly Interact with Human co-workers" and "Building a Better Workplace with my Human Colleagues" were common questions amongst drones. >Thus the famous "Human-Drone Workplace Relationship Guide" would be established. >Just don't mind some of the... misinformed beliefs they have about humans View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO DD_Emily.png, 2MiB, 1750x1225 Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 06:35:58 No.140403980 Quoted By: >>140404085 >>140404108 >>140407076 >>140407419 View Report >HoDR went ballistic when they learned that an employee was dating a Human Woman outside of office hours >Human Men on Human Women relationships were STRICTLY prohibited in the workplace, and would lead to harsh disciplinary action >But it held no authority over what employees did outside of work >If this spread any further, the PCHP (Personal Contact Hours Program) could be in jeopardy >Realizing this, Drones installed spyware inside of staff devices without their consent >Worker Drones would make literal bot accounts and stalk the social media of their assigned human >A common tactic included catfishing Male employees and then dumping them afterward >They did feel bad about it, but they were always there to comfort them after getting their heart broken :) >Disassembly Drones were reserved when more... physical action was required >Technically they couldn't go outside of the office >Nor could they hurt humans per their programming >But desperate times called for desperate measures >And their ability to intimidate others made for an efficient repellant against human-on-human relationships >This team-up between WD and DD would guarantee ALL the attention of their beloved humans Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 14:52:33 No. 140407419 Report Quoted By: >>140407560 >>140403980 What about Male/Male or Female/Female human/drone relationships? Are they also endorsed by HoDR? Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 15:14:36 No.140407582 Report Quoted By: >>140407869 >>140407560 >HoDR officially endorses any and all human in drone relationships >Male on male? >Sure >Female on female? >Fine View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Pet the 'tism bot.jpg, 39KiB, 564x564 Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 18:15:09 No.140374281 Report Quoted By: >>140374365 >>140374431 >>140374507 >>140375675 >>140374158 >PCHP became a mandatory scheme under the new HoDR guidelines. >In fact, activities previously only found in the scheduled hours of that scheme were then encouraged by key members of the HoDR department. >As a result, close contact between human and drone employees became second nature and observable in the day-to-day operations of the company. >It wasn't uncommon to see perhaps 2 or more drones huddled in a cubicle with their human counterparts. >Cubicles jokingly were referred to as "hug-boxes" from then on. Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 18:29:20 No.140374507 Report Quoted By: >>140374577 >>140374744 >>140374849 >>140375332 >>140375675 >>140377744 >>140374158 >>140374281 >This change in guidelines would lead to a substantial change in workplace culture >Humans no longer had profit as their main motivation when arriving at work >PCHP had given every human worker, regardless of their rank in the workplace drone(s) to "help with work-related matters" >The allure of getting all their needs taken care of made many anticipate Mondays rather than dread them >Drones, on the other hand, waited impatiently during the weekend to see their beloved human colleagues >It's a shame that they couldn't accompany home after workplace hours. Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 18:26:11 No.140374449 Quoted By: >>140374469 >>140374571 Report >>140374158 yesterday Samantha from financial cornered me in the break room and groped my crotch for like 3 minutes while she said some very strange things to me and when i told HoDR they laughed at me i'm tired of these female drones treating me like a piece of meat while HoDR does nothing to stop it let us rise, my brothers, and dump the drones off of our backs! restore humanity to its place among the stars! the apex species of the universe! Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 18:27:25 No.140374469 >>140374449 >t. BOXON shill Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 18:33:02 No.140374577 Report Quoted By: >>140374849 >>140374507 Then they all go on strike to get the right to work unpaid overtime. Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 18:52:02 No.140374849 Report Report Quoted By: >>140374911 >>140374956 >>140375063 >>140375332 >>140375675 >>140377677 >>140377744 >>140374507 >>140374577 Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 14:50:21 No.140407400 Report Quoted By: >>140407535 >>140403980 >Polycule or harem full of drones? >Hey man, if you can handle them that's great (although dealing with how territorial some become once in a relationship might make that tricky) >Humans? >Slow down there, buddy, we don't like that around these here parts Anonymous Sun 05 Nov 2023 06:59:43 No.140422588 Report Quoted By: >>140422614>>140422723 >>140422901 >>140422461 >Surprisingly, human-on-drone propaganda is not pushed in schools >Human-human relationships are encouraged >This seemingly arbitrary decision was made carefully - HoDR is well aware that undeveloped minds are stupid and incredibly fickle >This, by allowing human teenagers to sour on each other and the difficulty of interacting, drones were left as ideal partners in theory >Compare: human woman, demanding, needy, might spend money, might dump you, might hate you for no reason, has hormones that wildly alter mood >Vs: female drone, loving, helpful, eager to see you no matter what, no mood swings (unless you give her a real reason to), no hormonally driven weirdness (unless you RP that, you sicko), and she can even give you kids (some modifications necessary) >Basically, 95% of the human population is sick of other humans by the end of high school and seeks drone companionship >Female employees are given nasty looks from drones as they walk by their departments >A reminder that the drones have their eye on them for any potential interactions with male employees Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 15:08:02 No.140407535 Quoted By: >>140407576 >>140407400 View Report >It gets bad, to the point that any instance of female-male interaction is considered "inherently sexual' and strictly prohibited >The drones are in an outcry when so much as a water cooler chat occurs between coworkers >HoDR's push is nigh unstoppable, until it finally reaches it's own Waterloo - when a female drone tries to get cozy with a married employee >His human wife, and coworker, protests, and HoDR realizes that they may have gone a bit TOO far with things; if they disavow the sanctity of marriage, then they devalue it for drones who get hitched in the future >Hence, they draw up an (incredibly narrow) exclusion clause stating that drones will not interfere with preexisting relationships bearing legal recognition >Cyn and most of the employees, human and drone alike, feel that's a fair compromise >Boyfriends are fair game, though Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 15:13:58 No.140407576 Quoted By: >>140407591 Report >>140407535 Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 19:24:21 No.140375332 Report uoted By: >>140375349 >>140375638 >>140374849 >>140374744 >>140374507 >It wasn't the humans who had striked to work unpaid overtime. >Surprisingly, the Worker Drones had teamed up with the Disassembly Drones and demanded to be allowed to be taken home by human workers >PCHP and HoDR had given them a taste of what being around humans was like; now they craved the full package >They argued that in the same way humans were allowed to take JCJENSON-issued laptops home, the same policy also applied to Drones >It didn't matter to them that they were already unpaid and spent every second in the office >Nor how unrealistic the chances of the strike working were. >Many dreamed of going home with their human "acquaintances" after work hours had finished. Maybe they could even become their Human's maid at home! Does someone have that drawing of Uzi after weeks of no cuddles? It would be fitting to post here but I don't have it saved >>140374158 Will HoDR ever take a look of the several cases where DDs were hunting the human workers for cuddles, headpats, drinking their blood (with consent), clanging them (without consent) View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO DD_Emily.png, 2MiB, 1750x1225 Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 19:43:28 No.140375638 Report Quoted By: >>140375675 >>140375757 >>140376099 >>140376474 >>140377677 >>140377744 >>Hence, they draw up an (incredibly narrow) exclusion clause stating that drones will not interfere with preexisting relationships bearing legal recognition See, this is where HoDR f----- up. Now male and female human workers would just start marrying each other to avoid getting harassed by both WDs and DDs alike Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 15:15:41 No.140407591 Report Quoted By: >>140407602 >>140407576 Note the use of the word 'preexisting' It only applies to relationships obtained /prior/ to the clause's I statement Cyn is smart; she knows that people would try to abuse such a loophole if determined enough Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 19:25:28 No.140375349 Quoted By: >>140375380 >>140375638 >>140375332 Report Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 19:27:37 No.140375380 Quoted By: >>140375638 >>140377677 >>140375349 Report Yes, they're currently focus-testing ways to streamline this process. >DD trying not to follow their human handler back to their residence challenge (IMPOSSIBLE) Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 15:21:06 No.140407626 Quoted By: >>140407664 >>140407869 >>140407602 Report Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 20:35:57 No.140376474 Quoted By: >>140376554 >>140377677 >>140375638 Report >>140375332 >>140375380 >>140375349 >Disassembly Drones were a very special case when it came to interacting with humans >While they would appear to be bolder than Worker Drones at first glance, this couldn't be further from the truth >Their programming was meant to be predatory towards fellow Drones, NOT Humans, who were made to be above them by default. >Unfortunately, their newfound power in the new corporate landscape mixed with their insane strength caused more workplace incidents than Worker Drones by a longshot >HoDR was all but run by them, so any incidents were swept under the rug, downplayed, or even seen as an example that other drones should follow >It wasn't their fault that they harmed humans during drone piles and mandatory cuddling sessions >Or that they naturally followed them home when they shouldn't. They were just trying to keep an eye out for their valued human workers! >Or that human fluids were so much tastier than even the fresh oil from worker drones >So don't worry about that faint yellow glow you see at night by your bedroom windows. You're safer than ever! >so any incidents were swept under the rug, downplayed, or even seen as an example that other drones should follow So HoDR encourages both WDs and DDs to commit r--- against humans with impunity? Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 20:41:04 No.140376554 Quoted By: >>140376648 >>140377677 >>140376474 Report >HoDR has never officially encouraged any kind of nonconsensual clanging >However, they have used the human term "go get em, tiger" during seminars on how to approach a human and inquire about entering a relationship >The trick is that, for drones, this is taken literally >Hence, a drone will abduct her target >Entirely a misunderstanding Although, HoDR seems to be acutely aware of this miscommunication and its consequences, yet has made no efforts to correct it; they just give drones who have captured their lovers a thumbs up Strange. Maybe you ought to talk to the department? View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO WHAT HURTS? Drone_Existential_Crisis.jpg, 97KiB, 616x423 Anonymous Thu 02 Nov 2023 21:53:23 No.140377677 Report Quoted By: >>140377744 MAY >>140375380 >>140375638 >>140376474 >>140376554 >>140376648 >Unlike maid drones who are constantly around humans in their homes, Worker and Disassembly Drones inside JCJENSON offices have a set schedule to interact with the human assigned to them by the PCHP >Realizing this, the HoDR heavily promoted bonding activities that were more "intimate" than the standard Cuddling and Head Pats in the hopes that the humans would stay in the office working over-time >"Forceful-intimate bonding" was the term coined by the drone-run HoDR to describe a deeper level of synergy between its Human and Drone employees. >To humans, a closer description of it would be "sexual assault", even though drones saw it in a different light to them >In an attempt to get this to stop, corporate decided that drones assigned to a human by the PCHP could be taken home >>140374849 >Unfortunately, this only led to drones stalking humans back to their homes to continue their "Forceful-intimate bonding" outside of office hourse >On the plus side, those that do end up following you home always end up becoming your unofficial maid drone Anonymous Fri 03 Nov 2023 06:02:18 No.140385867 View Report >>140385520 >>140385333 Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 16:22:16 No.140408194 Report Quoted By: >>140408207 >>140408293 >>140408177 >Anytime someone starts scheming to get married to avoid drone harassment, she alters nearby reality to prevent it >Be it distracting the rebellious human with a mountain of paperwork, closing the offices of nearby county clerks for the day, or orchestrating some 'accident' to befall the coconspiring human female, she WILL prevent loophole abuse >Or just retroactively change the dictionary definitions of the wording enough that she can claim it says whatever she wants She's kind of a cheater when it comes to playing this game What's HoDR's position on Sentinel Drones considering they can be even more mentally unstable than DDS or WDs or that they could develop strong obsessions? Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 16:30:34 No.140408293 Quoted By: >>140408314>>140408336 >>140408194 Report View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Sentineltwins.png, 2MiB, 4084x2330 Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 22:32:07 No.140413721 Quoted By: >>140414059 View Report Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 16:34:42 No.140408348 Report Quoted By: >>140408374 >>140408314 >HoDR does care deeply if a human is injured by a Sentinel Drone >Despite not being part of the HoDR, Sentinel Drones exercise the most influence out of any drone group at the company >Originally programmed to deal with rogue Disassembly Drones, Sentinels quickly adapted to the new workplace social norms after Cyn took over >While making up less than 1% of the total Drone population, their reputation and authority make them the only individuals capable of commanding respect and fear out of DD's >Having a median height of 6'6 also made them very intimidating to most people >Because of this and their seemingly normal and reserved behavior, many human staff members assume that they are less fixated on them and try to be around them for protection >This could not be any further from the truth >Their cold exterior is just a facade to mask the extreme infatuation towards their male colleagues >Sentinel Drones frequently abuse their near-total power in the office to get closer to the humans that they become obsessed over >Schedule changes, random promotions, and cubical changes are frequent tactics to isolate the human they wish to get closer with >Having access to all your files makes this much easier for them >So don't be surprised if a Sentinel Drone you have only seen a handful of times seems to know so much about your hobbies and interests >Just don't ask them how they know where you live >They remain unworried though, because they are well aware humans can be repaired >They can put you back together, Anon >Cyn can put you back together as many times as it takes Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 22:49:23 No.140414059 View Report Quoted By: >>140414179 >>140413721 >Female Sentinel Drones passively integrating themselves into a male employee's life in an attempt to become indispensable >Following him home after work >She won't just wait outside and creep him out; rather, she'll knock directly on the door with a very reasonable excuse >Something like "you forgot this important file" (which in reality was merely swiped from his briefcase earlier to provide the needed pretext) >She turns to leave, only to remark that her transportation seems to have left while she went to speak with him (there was never a van, she followed on foot) >The employee, feeling bad for the poor Sentinel going through this trouble for him, welcomes her in >He submits the critical documentation while she prepares a home-made meal, the first he's had in a long time >It's perfect, just like his mother used to make (she called his mother earlier in the week to obtain the information) >However, when he goes to go to bed... she doesn't try to assault him - instead, she acts perplexed and asks if she can stay in the bedroom too >Understandably worried, but still feeling a little guilty, he allows it >She doesn't get under the covers, but instead holds his head in her lap as he drifts off to sleep >He wakes to find she's gone ahead and started breakfast (again, just like mother used to make) >He gets ready and they both go back to work together >His opinion of her has improved dramatically; meanwhile, her plan has gone perfectly >Similar accidents occur in the future, each luring him in more and more >Finally, he is the one to admit his feelings and initiate the clanging >Sentinel Drones are therefore the most proposed to of the drone models, all because of the well planned long game they have >HoDR is surprised by this but also pleased that they don't have to get involved at all >Official documentation suggests that HoDR has no position on relationships with Sentinel Drones (potentially due to fear of reprisal) >They merely say 'YOLO' on that page >What is that supposed to mean, exactly? Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 16:32:19 No.140408314 Quoted By: >>140408336 >>140408348 >>140408293 So they don't care if a human gets hurt by a sentinel drone? Report >Hello anon, this is an automated message from the HoDR Department >Please remember that the term "sexual assault" is considered extremely offensive to the drones in the office >Here at JCJENSON we prefer the term "forceful-intimate bonding" to describe the activities preformed by drones to Humans in the office >We understand that many of the Human Staff have been complaining about their behavior, but please understand that this helps deepen the relations between our Drone and Human staff >If issues with your language persist, we may have to assign a Dissassembly Drone HoDR overseer to monitor your behavior 24/7 - This was an automated message feom the HoDR department of JCJENSON. Have a productive day at work! Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 05:03:53 No.140402558 >>140402459 >where I am right now View Report The HODR Smuggler Unit knows where you are at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is - whichever is greater - it obtains a difference or deviation. The guidance subsystem uses deviation to generate corrective commands to drive the Smuggler Unit from a position where it is to a position where it isn't, and arriving at a position that it wasn't, where you are. Consequently, the position where it is is now the position that it wasn't, and if follows that the position that it was is now the position that it isn't. In the event that the position that the position that it is in is not the position that it wasn't, the system has acquired a variation. The variation being the difference between where the Snuggler Unit is and where it wasn't. If variation is considered to be a significant factor, it too may be corrected by the GEA. However, the Snuggler Unit must also know where it was and where you ARE. The Snuggler Unit guidance computer scenario works as follows: Because a variation has modified some of the information that the Snuggler Unit has obtained, it is not sure just where it is. However, it is sure where it isn't, within reason, and it know where it was. It now subtracts where it should be from where it wasn't, or vice versa. And by differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where it shouldn't be and where it was, it is able to obtain the deviation and its variation, which is called error. In short, they WILL find you, unless you coat yourself in mud, go radio silent, and hide in a cave Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 16:33:49 No.140408336 Report Quoted By: >>140408404 >>140408314 >>140408293 They may be more afraid of what would happen if a Sentinel Drone found out they couldn't have their human relationship Anonymous Sun 05 Nov 2023 06:28:38 No.140422133 Quoted By: >>140422203 >>140422359 >>140422613 Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 16:39:44 No.140408404 Quoted By: >>140408483 >>140408336 Report View Report Reminder to all stupid toasters in this thread that humans were always meant for eachother, not drones. HoDR can suck my ass, I'm gonna ask out that cute HUMAN girl fron marketing out on a date and you can't do s--- So if a Sentinel Drone has their sight on you, it's almost impossible to dissuade them from being with you, right? Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 16:45:57 No.140408483 Quoted By: >>140408548 >>140408562 >>140408910 >>140408404 Report Exactly, you can't escape their love no matter what, and trust me I know. At work, I notice it, always walking past me, each day getting closer and closer. During my company mandated break I see it, glaring at me across the room, never breaking contact even once I see it when I look outside, it's eyes watching me in the dark, it's outside my home now. I'm afraid Anonymous Sun 05 Nov 2023 06:44:05 No.140422359 Report Quoted By: >>140422409 >>140422417 >>140422461 >>140422510 >>140422659 >>140422133 f-- who wrote most of the HoDR s--- in the last couple of threads here. I was going to write about how calling drones "toasters" was incredibly offensive and would result in some forced intervention in the office with DD's but i'm honestly too tired right now. Maybe someone else can use my idea idk, good night Anonymous Sun 05 Nov 2023 06:53:38 No.140422510 Quoted By: >>140422613 >>140422359 Report Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 17:18:59 No.140408910 Report Quoted By: >>140408983 >>140409173 >>140408483 >>140408562 >>140408624 >YNW have a Yandere Sentinel Drone stalk you at work >YNW have her leave love notes at your company mandated locker >YWN have love notes written in the oil of that one Worker that had been talking to you the day before >YWN have her follow you home, glaring into your bedroom window, watching you sleep >YWN hear the sound of your downstairs window breaking, as she climbs inside to make you hers Why even live? Anonymous Sat 04 Nov 2023 16:52:45 No.140408562 Quoted By: >>140408621 >>140408910 >>140408483 >>140408548 like it or not in the end you will be her's Report >One major kerfuffle in the earlier days of HoDR was when one employee jokingly referred to a particularly clingy drone as a toaster >He was whisked away, along with her, to an 'employee intervention' to correct his ways >It was basically just the two of them being locked in a room and told to sort things out according to company guidelines >Result: they clanged, with her broaching the subject by saying "let me show you just how different I am from a toaster" >Happily, this resulted in a wonderful new relationship >It also resulted in them getting ribbed endlessly about the entire thing, which inevitably turned him red as a tomato or glitched her blush indicators out >In short, another stunning success for office morale and HoDR as a whole

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