Fap to the extreme!

Guilty. But who are you to judge? I am a man like you! A man who eats, sleeps, drinks, and s**ts like all of you! I just have a weird tiny fetish. Is this all it takes to label me a deviant? Is it all it takes to render me a horrid beast of men? Just one mistake is my Achilles heel, causing me to fall? I must suggest, nay, state the beauty of it! The seductive… uh… T-The beauty of… hmm… I cannot express the nature of sedu- Okay, okay! Stop this!

Is this the shit I have to work with? C'mon, man! I get better hard on's watching that stupid Blonic video!