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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - The greatest story never told

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Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)03:51 No 4222016 Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)06:13 No.4223307 Part 1/2 - Our system thinks your post is spam? Gah how I fix that dhjskgkdftjisdgjhk me roo My pulse was racing and the E really wasn't agreeing with me. I needed a cold shower and normal communication, but I'd only get one >l was losing my s--- fast but bronie was too sccially inept to read this in my face-they all were >Walk past toy isle to pick-up a lay-by Notice there's a tall, skinny guy with a ton of stubble looking nervously around from that pink aisle He's staring at the pony toys >At this point B is being heavily spammed byBronies >He quoted something from MLP that I can't remember before leading me to his en suite >He stood there and closed the door Argh - just need a lif alone time, bronie, if thal's cool > turn the cold on as high as t goes n this truly epic-sized shower with that fuzzy glass and it's at this point that I spew milky s--- all over the floor l scrape t into the grate with my eet and soon find myself clean >I walk out and look for my clothes but they're not there, panic, but I find them kicked behind the sink. My pulse ls retuming to normal but I still need a towel. I have long hair and so f I were to put my dry clothes >He looks away and l on hide behind the bathroom door and call out tc bronie, thinking out loud" This is f----- >"Woul >He nods and hands me $300 in "How many did you want? d you like me to 4 fur f--- that I haven't encountered earlier came to the door >"Could you guys grab bronie for me or find a tcwel >This aspie girl lets herself into the bathroom and says, There should be one in here >Her three guy friends follow and look me up and dowm while I clutch my clothes onto my crotch for dear life back the urge t can hear the same retarded grunt from before emanating from some where in the house > Hey, it's my cousin's birthday and I always miss it so I have a lot to make up for s 08/30/12(Thu)06.22 No.4223354 > She's 9 today," smile as she hands me roughly $12 in change and several bags of pony toys I'm not sure what's going on but when I hit submit earlier there was a server error and now the post only shows up in this thread's front-page preview but I'll try again and hopefully no flood-detection. Approach Brony who appears to be dropping spaghetti every where and attracting strange expressions from passers by s get out of here. You just take me to >Put them in the back-seat and say goodbye talking on s and theyre >My pulse was racing and the E really wasn't agreeing with me. I needed a cold shower and normal c I was losing my s--- fast but bronie was too sccially inept to read this in my face -they all were >He quoted something from MLP that I can't remember before leading me to his en suite I really n >He stood there and closed the door >"Argh-just need a lit alone time, bronie, if that's cool. >He walks out and I'm left alone to my relief I turn the cold on as high as it goes in this truly epic-sized shower with that fuzzy glass and it's at this point that I spew milky s--- all over the floor. I scrape it into the grate with my feet and soon find myself clean me >They're all saying s--- to me like, "You've shown the ponies love and tolerance and you'll receive it back 10-fold >2 months pass haven't heard from them - stopped using Skype >Walking home from pub when group of three bogans approach me screaming. "You want to FIGHT C---! >A group of 6 weirdos wearing f------ cloaks run in from a nearby football oval screaming what I assume is meant to be what horses sound like >Later find out the the Bronies have been following me and sharing the story around about the act of love and tolerance I walk out and look for my clothes but they're not there, panic, but I find them kicked behind the sink. My pulse is returming to normal but I still need a towel. I have long hair and so if I were to put my dry clothes on I hide behind the bathroom door and call out tc bronie, thinking out loud, This is f----- >4 fur f--- that I haven't encountered earlier came to the door you guys grab brone for me or find a tcwel . >This aspie girl lets herself into the bathroom and says, "There should be one in here >Her three guy friends follow and look me up and dowm while I clutch my clothes onto my crotch for dear life -It's about 3:24 AM and Ive been ignoring multiple messages and calls from these guys for the last 40 minutes >Im about to go to sleep when I hear this god awful sound outside my window can hear the same retarded grunt from before emanating from some where in the house >My stomach is full to the brim with anxious spaghetti and I don't really want to look through the curtains but curiosity gets the better of me There's this really buff guy standing on a neighbor's car with his wrists curved pretending to be a horse and looking up at my window you were safe is going crazy by this point girl fishes out a towel from the back of l couldn't help but wonder if bronie kept them there on purpose >The three guys kind of shrugged and walked away >Next minute I know, towel-girl is urinating and humming casually while I stand there in shock >"Are you going to get >My Skype immediately f------ goes dead quiet The buff dude sprints away and they later tell me they learned my address by adding my Facebook friends Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)04 24 No.4222392 >I'm on drugs - simultaneously coming down and up in the most alien of environments. Reality has broken down and I begin to feel like getting changed in front of her mightn't be so strange >You're hairy and I'm not >The scene that met my eyes in the lounge room would soon make me run from the house nonymous 08/30/12(Thu)06:40 No 4223453 and of course it's f------ strange >After returning from the shop with my morning coffee, I do my mundane check of the mail There's a tuft of rainbow hair covered in glitter with a shiny pink bow around it tying it to a letter out carefully move the hair away with a stick, careful not to touch it and use the stick to wedge the letter open e been invied tooo a It went on to list the address and time in this retarded dialect >Decide to go to party but decide to drop Stacy as a backup for the sheer fur-f--- I'm about to meet >Approach house-this has got to be it - there's a sparkly unicorn horn pinned to the front door 뇌 psyc File: 1346323240766 png-(82 KB, 334x343, and than they all f----- png) up but amn telling you wait wait wait, I know what's next. grass This 5 foot 17 year old dressed in an orange fox fur suit ushers me in to the room where about 11 of his friends have stopped mid-conversation to stare at me like a f------ horse eying off a particularly green patch He's >pic related >At this point, I'm pinging off my head and sweating out of fear and drugs They offer me a seat but get this, the seat they offer is this guy on his hands and knees with a pony tail stuck to his ass >Bronie was on all fours while fox-suit guy was underneath him sucking his d--- >A large furry blanket had been laid over the entire lounge-room floor and everyone at the party had come to join >Apparently most of the guests were in other rooms because I noticed several people I hadnt seen before in f------ kangaroo suits pulling each other off >As for the girls, only tuna-cat and duck-man were having heterosexual sex; every other couple was gay with the prty consisting of 7 guys to every 1 gi >Milk-cat was waiting with her arms folded at the edge of the blanket closest to the kitchen in nothing but cat ears and a tail. >The room smelt like f------ s--- and everyone was making these nightmarish animal sounds lt was time.I sprinted to the door and slammed it shut running through back streets with a paranoia of being followed. This happened a month and a half ago and I've since been invited to several parties and been >Im forced down by a girl with red hair wearing bunny ears and whiskers drawn on in mascara > She comments that my pupils are dilated and that perhaps 'we should mate >She isn't unattractive from what my sensitive vision can tell but god damn was her voice monotonous and scary dont say anything but instead ask her if there's anything to drink It all started with brony waer >She comes back with water but it seems a little....whiter than usual > Decide to drink it anyway - too f----- up to care Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)04:58 No.4222729 >The night progresses and as soon as someone goes up for another drink, I move from the guy and take their seat on the couch I was p on his hind legs been a while.. thanks for the seat He nods and motions for me to follow him l follow him past two cats making out in the kitchen while the earlier cat girl that made me the diluted milk makes heavy eye-contact with me as I pass s room and h e points to a book-shelf full of the to the rece >He does that spaghetti nod again before leading me back to the kitchen for shots 거 can hear from the lounge room that they've started watching a children's movie . Cats and Dogs , apparently any movie th s talking a good bet at an all fur 8/3012(hu0:08 No.4 back on the couch in between a guy with a giant duck bill and a girl in a onesie cat suit >Duck guy keeps turning to look at stuff and hitting me with his bill in doing so >Cat girl two legitimately smells like raw tuna and I can't help but laugh as I turn my attention away from her to the movie to make it look like I'm not laughing at them >Every time a dog comes on screen - all the cats at this party meow f------ aggressively at them and vice versa - it's really tripping me out Milk-cat girl joins us on the couch choosing her seat and loudly announcing, THIS is my seat, followed by a terrifying hiss >Her seat turned out to be my lap >Apparently these 'animals liked to do stuff like that as I noticed a lot of them were curled around each other on the floor or lying on each other and grooming one another >Some thing told me not to piss milk-cat off >As if I needed any one to stare at me more, milk-cat's clawing at my chest apparently became more interesting than the movie >Most of the party-goers had changed their position to be facing us on the couch >The 5-6 girls there appeared to be pretty p----- off at her obvious come on and the guys had this disgusting look like they were watching their favorite b--------- p---. l looked towards bronie for support but he too seemed to be enjoying the show >Her scratches were making my chest feel itchy through my shirt and the buzz from the exstacy was wearing out fast - I did what any one in that situation would do -I dropped my emergency pill that I was keeping >The furries asked me if I had anymore and I told them truthfully it was my last one >It was immensely awkward being the center of attention and the room felt like it was moments away from an animal frenzy excused myself from milk-cat and tried to ignore her p----- off expression before grabbing brony and taking him to the kitchen. >Tm pretty f----- up, man, w-- was going on back there?" wasnt It's OK We're all from the same pack >His attention had moved to the lounge room two guys were making out on the floor and a girl and guy were humping on the couch. The others were watching casually >"Do you guys 'mate a lot? here. We want to welcome you into the pack

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Spidervance

Spidervance

Oct 01, 2012 at 01:20PM EDT

The greatest story never read.

+7

Hey it's Brian

Hey it's Brian

Oct 01, 2012 at 11:59AM EDT

Everything went…much…much worse than expected…

+3

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