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anonymousmisfit isolatedartisan italyans nasda #Friday-un time! Now here's an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and stll sleep in comfort. /www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/21609 weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to cuddle this is it. THIS IS F------ IT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WEVE FINALLY ARRIVED THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS S---, AND JUST GO TO F------ TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR F------ TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST F------ DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE MTHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO M------------ WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD Tumblr users should never make infomercials Reasons why tumblr users should definitely write infomercials.

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Uploaded Oct 15, 2014 at 02:44AM EDT

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