Notes:

My edit based on the music video for "Hero of War" by Rise Against. The soldier's head is replaced with Dipper's from Gravity Falls episode "Dipper vs. Manliness". On his head is an edited version of this template of James T. "Joker" Davis's "born to kill" helmet from Full Metal Jacket.
Text sources:
A hero of dong: cover of “Donkey Kong 64”
Yeah that’s what I’ll be: covers of “Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door”, “Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars”, “Hotel Mario”, “Luigi’s Mansion”, and “New Super Mario Bros. U”
And when I expand: covers of “Donkey Kong Land” and “Donkey Kong 64”
They’ll be damn proud of me: “Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends” title cards (“The Sad Story of Henry”, “Thomas’s Christmas Party”, “Thomas & Bertie”, “Thomas, Percy and the Coal”, and “A Proud Day for James”)
I’ll deliver this meme: “SpongeBob SquarePants” title cards (“The Play’s the Thing”, “Pizza Delivery”, “Have You Seen This Snail?”, and “Sleepy Time”)
To the grave if I must: “Gravity Falls” theme song title card
‘Cause it’s a dong that I love: covers of “Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest”, “Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze”, and “Donkey Kong 64”
And a dong that I trust: covers of “Donkey Kong Land”, “Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze”, “Donkey Kong 64”, and “Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest”