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+4

Virgin vs. Chad - The Virgin Bowl vs the Chadvision Song Contest by Glide08

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SONG CONTEST No stupid cartoon songs, everything must be written Tries too hard to be manly, only turns out to be full of homoerotic-esque moments we WANT The CArToON SPONGE SonG TO plAY DURInG THe HAlFtimE Show So inherently macho even the girls havea beard You're probably especially for the contest thinking of Lordi and/or the Russian Elaborate stage show Grannies right nowfull of pyrotechnics Nobody remembers it once the next one comes, people only watch it for the ads anyway Players wear helmet and padding, still get brain damage doesn't stop the performers from wearing costumes with no protective The halftime show's glitz and glamour only serve to distract from the utter boredom of the game People watch it for the actual contest itself Runs for three glorious days A product placement ban so strict not even Facebook and the Salvation Army could avoid it you ARE uNdeR arREsT FOr NOt STANdiNG For ThE us AnThEm One day only, three-hour event that only has 11 minutes of actual play Glitz and gamour are part of the contests' DNA, only adds to the satsifaction when your country gets 12 points Songs are capped at 3 minutes to prevent a Shady corporations use it to showcase their latest products collective endrophine overdose across Europe Theme song only makes you wonder whether your d--- has becomethe winning country gets an a noodle Theme song immediately makes you brace for the "GOOD EVENING EUROPE!" Genuinely patriotic, fans are constantly waving flags and ograsmic bout of national pride

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