Hah, you can't nurture the shit out of me, i am a real dude who doesn't need any emotional crutches! Let me show you who's the real deal.
…
I saw a weird trenchcoat person from the window. Why she draws near everytime i avert myself from the view? Wait, why do i feel like i want to be hug and pampered this isn't norma- She disappears… gasp! Who's knocking my front door??

Me: Tell me, you ever had lewd thoughts about little boys?

(Timeline A)
"To be honest, a few times, but I think you're…"
Me: BEGONE THOT! (Proceeds to deck said bitch)

(Timeline B)
"Of course not! I'd never dream of such things."
Me: Okay good, you're good then.
Proceeds to walk closer
"Oh, you're approaching me?"
"I can't Ara-ara you without getting closer."
"Oh well then by all means, get as close as you'd like."