If you happen to find yourself in the unenviable position where your planet is being attacked by hot hail from a mustache-twirling space despot named Ming the Merciless, Ts Madison thinks it's best to grab a sexy travel agent with amazing bangs, a football star from the New York Jets, and ride a rocket cycle to the planet Mongo where you enlist the help of a friendly race of Hawkmen to destroy Ming, bed his hot daughter, and have an interstellar o--- with a slew of bore worms. As one does.