slightly horrifying tumblr posts

24 Slightly Unnerving Tumblr Posts For Gentle Spooks

Nothing like opening up the old internet, kicking back and relaxing by having a good laugh at the proverbial "horrors." For that, we turn to Tumblr.

Tumblr humor tends to be pitched right at the center of hilarious and unnerving, producing the sort of posts that make you laugh when you consider their implications. These sorts of posts have recently been at the top of /r/CuratedTumblr, a subreddit devoted to immortalizing some of the social media app's greatest posts. It makes sense that since it's still close to spooky season, Tumblr posts that have a dash of the macabre are getting popular.

We decided to celebrate Tumblr's unique sense of humor by highlighting some of the site's humorously unsettling content. From a "posting harem" to theological misunderstandings to debates about the passage of time, these posts make good use of that education you have while also providing a good laugh.

Social Anxiety

theunsubtleknife 601 Follow Feb 7 Social anxiety Is so funny you'll really be wondering "is it normal to get your clothes dry cleaned?" Yeah brother they built a whole business around it called "dry cleaning" 33,195 notes D D

(Source: Reddit)

Reader Beware

bonsaibabe i dont think goosebumps books ever came into print i think they just mystically appeared in public school libraries one day already in mediocre condition fckthestate this sounds like a plot for a goosebumps book about goosebumps books 380,825 notes >

(Source: Reddit)

New 'In Minecraft' Dropped

wetchickenbreast Follow 3d ago i keep getting fines for "excessive water consumption" it's not my fault that the basement prison cells all need their own toilets and showers. and like the prisoners are not pulling their weight AT ALL. all they do is sleep and be scared of the rats all day instead of painting with the easels i provided so the fines are really putting a financial strain on the household. if i didn't need them for their plasma i would have killed them all already because this is nottt as financially lucrative as i thought it would be wetchickenbreast 3d ago in the sims 4

(Source: Reddit)

Wonka Debate

penandinkprincess Follow listen i know each actor brings their own spice to a role, but i just can't take timothee chalamet's wonka seriously where is the madness behind his eyes??? the malice??? the complete disregard for the laws of mankind and decency??? penandinkprincess this man makes me fear that i'll be shoved into a taffy machine at the slightest provocation as! he! should!

(Source: Reddit)

This Man Is Now 'The Thing'

REI tilthat TIL a Russian scientist injected himself with a 3.5 million year old bacteria trapped in Siberian Permafrost 'after successful experiments on mice and fruit flies'. He says it has made him flu proof for the past two years and gave him more energy to work longer hours. via reddit.com mayflyinspace Oh so no one can drink the sarcophagus juice but this guy can inject himself with ancient bacteria, I see 32.470 notes D

(Source: Reddit)

Time Needs To Chill

anonymous asked: Pukicho whats your opinion on the passage of time pukicho Boop Oct 17 Hoping it'll eventually stop doing that malicthegreat Follow Oct 17 The present is a gift the past gives the future. pukicho Oct 17 The present is a large rock the past bludgeoned the future with. 14.6K notes ල

(Source: Reddit)

The Limits of Jesus

tilthat TIL there is no physical description of Jesus in the Bible. via ift.tt False volcel-official Luke 2:52 He's larger than a baby amateuropinions By the description of him driving the moneylenders from the temple, we can also tell that he fit inside the temple, which gives us an upper bound as well as a lower bound on his size. veraxplus It's been said that Jesus Christ was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple Source: tilthat 3,075 notes D

(Source: Reddit)

The Afterlife

ysabelmystic I just heard my mom tell my brother, "when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you're done" and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion. martianaviator Purgatory Source: ysabelmystic

(Source: Reddit)

Boopermore

felagund-fiollaigean M Apr 1 601 800 Follow while i slouched, nearly stooping, suddenly there came a booping, as of someone gently booping, booping at my chamber door. tis some mutual, i said, booping at my chamber door. only this and nothing more. 7,998 notes

(Source: Redd)

Spooky Outoors

bgm05 Follow Sep 13, 2023 Went outside and saw a bat flying around. Then i saw a toad in the yard. Straight up like a witch's brew out there. Stay safe 41 800 notes

(Source: Reddit)

Death By Pun

luckychatons ☑ 601 Follow Jun 1 me as an assassin: *whispers* knife to meet you luckychatons Jun 1 601 what a stabulous evening luckychatons 601 Jun 1 "how many people have you killed" sword of a lot luckychatons 601 Jun 1 *bad thing happens* Me: hakuna katana luckychatons Jun 1 601 *gets badly wounded, was bleeding out* Me: haha yeah I guess you could say I almost blade to death luckychatons 601 Jun 1 me, pointing to the girl they're looking for: sheath over there

(Source: Reddit)

New Jersey

thescaryjokes Follow when i was a kid i found an anti-new jersey fb group & as someone from new jersey i took it really personally for some reason, so I'd go on there and on an almost daily basis I'd make posts like "wont you visit our beautiful coastline? :)" and all the comments were like "i hope you get run over by a car" and it would give me insane anxiety but i kept doing it #modern flagellation technique

(Source: Reddit)

Words And Their Meanings

cumvvelt Follow "Guy" and "man" have different connotations with adjectival nouns. Like "tree guy" = arborist but "tree man" = he lives in a tree, or maybe he is a tree. thedupshadove Follow "I know a guy" = "I have a useful contact." "I know a man" = "I am about to tell you a story."

(Source: Reddit)

My Posting Harem

zeitghost Follow 4d ago me: "smoking that twisted vizier pack had me plotting and scheming." is that good? attractive woman with a three piece suit and half glasses, petting my hair and cooing affectionately: really good babe other attractive woman wearing full chainmail armor and a blazoned surcoat, leaning her head on my shoulder: you're so good at posting babe me: thanks ladies [i continue to smash my hands weakly against an inert stone slab]

(Source: Reddit)

Furry Inflation

trinketbug Follow May 19 WHY IS A BIG MAC $11.99??? PASE ORDE HERE "furry inflation" (2024) 25.1K notes

(Source: Reddit)

The Amulet, And You

frightstricken Follow Aug 13 But are you normal about your friend who wears the corrupted amulet? frightstricken Aug 13 Do you allow your friend to spill blood as the amulet demands? Do you accept the amulet as a sapient force whose needs are important and must be met without question? Do you give the amulet a little kissy when it gets lonely 21 965 notes

(Source: Reddit)

Body Craves Water

sandersstudies That feeling when your body is requesting something but you're not sure what so you just start eating and drinking random stuff to try and figure it out sandersstudies Me, eating a chocolate waffle at 7pm: Is this what you desire, oh prison of flesh? queerglassescutie @Dope-A-Meme Meanwhile your body is like I need water

(Source: Reddit)

Rules for Halloween

arrowheadedbitch existennialmemes Follow reblogged verytiredgay Halloween Reminders: ⚫ Discard any candy that has been Cursed • In the event that you are magically transformed into your costume, do not panic. It'll probably be pretty fun. ⚫ Discard any candy that looks at you funny. • In the event your soul is stolen, bummer. Try to enjoy your night anyway. Eat some candy. Honestly it's kinda like your appendix. you don't really use it as much as you'd think. ⚫ Discard any candy that speaks in ancient languages. That just can't be good. • Have fun! This world is a nightmare. Enjoy every chance for whimsy, whenever you can 2,919 notes

(Source: Reddit)

I Was Once Very Small

crabanarchy Follow i was actually born 9 months premature. they had to give me to a dust mite as a wet nurse. 17,113 notes

(Source: Reddit)

Artichokes

anonymous asked: how can you eat the fried hearts of something that once was alive and had a beating heart? do you feel any guilt? i hope you do. folk-punk Follow Jan 16, 2015 please google what an artichoke is 257.4K notes ง

(Source: Reddit)

I'm Soaking

orcboxer Follow Jul 27 "Oh, no thank you. I don't drink," I tell my new friends at the party, no matter what beverage they offer me. Minutes later I'm seen standing in the swimming pool out back, with a serene look on my face. The water level is slowly, almost imperceptibly decreasing. 8 711 notes

(Source: Reddit)

Escaping God

eesirachs Follow Dec 12, 2022 Anonymous asked: Can we escape god? eesirachs answered: no but he doesn't mind if you wriggle a little 5,272 notes D 3

(Source: Reddit)

Be Prepared For Anderson Cooper

mdtwn happy election eve!! make sure u leave milk and cookies out for anderson cooper tonight or he'll stand outside ur window and squint spacecrygirl 40,073 notes > D♡

(Source: Reddit)

Based Cybertruck

sonicspeeddemon The cybertruck of it was actually based

(Source: Reddit)




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