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What Was The Finno-Korean Hyperwar? Ancient Finngolia's Lore Explained
Fictionalized world histories have always been hugely popular with online nerds, and our constant engagement with the worldbuilding in stories like Dune and Lord of the Rings can attest to this fact. But not all alternative world histories enjoy the accolades received by a few, and stories about Hyperborea and Finngolia can attest to that.
Recent rumblings in our collective memories have brought forth what only a few recognized as worthy of study— on 4chan, no less. A story of human ingenuity, original sin, and the fall of the last great society. Here's all there is to know about the long-forgotten Finno-Korean Hyperwar.
What Is Finngolia?
The fictional nation of "Finngolia" first appeared in the 4chan lexicon sometime around 2010. The theory, which conflated the country of Mongolia with the country of Finland, supposedly drew on an even older Nazi-era race theory that likened Finnish people to Central Asians.
![r/fingols pavulus · 3y ... DerEinsieder 3y Thar's not a meme, Finns are western How Finns are Mongols meme started Mongols and we already know that here. 40 Reply 300 years ago, a German scientist named Johann Friedrich Blumenbach studied Finnish skulls. pavulus 3y That is not true. To survive the extreme Finnish winters, Finns evolved higher cheekbones and relatively flatter faces than other Europeans. Finns are Europeans, with sizeable Mongolian genes. They are by most people's definition White. Germans, on the other hand, have much less prominent cheekbones than Europeans. Finns are Mongols only to Nazis and Germans. Reply Blumenbach concluded that Finns are not white but mongols from central asia, just simply because Finns have high cheekbones. DerEinsieder 3y Hmm no sweety, Finns are Mongolians as the same way that my people from the Portuguese Caliphate are Arabs.Also the last know pure white people in Europe are living in a bunker below Dresden that the Führer himself ordered to be built.Please don't bring your "science" munbo jumbo to a serious sub and let the peoples of western Mongolia be proud of their heritage. This faux race science was widely accepted by Germans who were jealous of Finnish cheekbones, and was adopted by Hitler as well. Hitler classified Finland as a non-white, non- Germanic nation, but thought that Finnish cultural achievements were equal to Germanic achievements. So he considered Finland to be honorary A----, along with Japan. 4 45 Q Reply [deleted] 3y In early 1900s, delusional Finnish scientists started to claim that Finns are actually white, and their high cheekbones are due to Cro-magnon hunter heritage. what meme this is reality 4 18 Q Reply In late 20th century, 4chan, a website dedicated to Christianity and Nazism, adopted Hitler's definition of race, and concluded that Finns are Mongols, not white. sauihdik 3y Actually, Finnish and Mongolian languages have a lot in common, like vowel harmony. 4 10 Q Reply](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/876/552/528.jpg "r/fingols talks about the origin of the meme")
The memes about Finngolia were initially mild and only barely racist, with Finngolians being typically characterized as yellow-skinned people with slanted eyes that repeat vaguely Finnish words like "Perkele," "Mämmi," "Sauna," and "Suomi."
What Was The Finno-Korean Hyperwar?
The Finno-Korean hyperwar is an expansion of Finngolian lore. While it is unclear if the war preceded the Finngolian Empire, it is generally agreed to have been fought between the Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate and the Korean Hwan Empire. Both nations are thought to have possessed vastly advanced weapons and technology, the use of which lead to "levels of man-made destruction unparalleled across the known multiverse to this day, complete breakdown of all Hyperspace travel and communication due to the emergent Hyperstorm and rapid decline and collapse of both empires."
The war is believed to have been fought between 8245 – 6172 BC, ending in catastrophe after the Koreans deployed the Giza Mass Autism Array. Some sources cite the involvement of the Emu army as belligerents, and others cite the Proto-Finnic Khaganate's failed War on Autism, which eventually consumed and collapsed the Empire.
![Great Hwan Empire Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate Belligerents Notable commanders Joseon the Bold Ching-Chong Nipnong Girls' Generation (SNSD) Jackie Chan (holding infant in ladder factory) Obi-Wan Ken" Kenobi Gaius Julius Caesar Strength -500 Imperial Jedi Knights -2100 Ursine Cavalry 20,530 Augmented Cavalry Great Imperial Starfleet -300 Korean Proto-Ninjas Jackie Chan[¹][2][3] 32,500 Pre-Horse Archers Lemurian Fleet, Sol Div. -2500 Swiss Mercenaries A Tyrannosaurus Rex[¹][4] and losses Casualties Caualties: Heavy ground losses Jackie Chan[disputed] 400 knights and 800 soldiers captured¹¹] Unknown dead or wounded[¹] Losses: Imperial Starfleet vaporized[¹][5] Commune of Lemuria and leaders Spurdo Spärde I Spurdo Spärda Spärdo I Spurdo Spürdo Spärde Il Spurdo Fred McFeely Rogers Genghis Khan nge-lawiop of Lemuria Hwan Empire collapsed Approximately 3 inches of average penis length [5] Heavy ground losses -2,000,000 dead, over 10,000,000 wounded Lemurian forces disappear from Earth Proto-Finnic Khaganate partitioned, then dissolved Finnish social skills[¹][2]](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/566/418/4a8.png "Finno-Korean Hyperwar Timeline")
What Are Some Different Accounts Of The Finno-Korean Hyperwar?
For the full history of Finngolia, be sure to check out our entry on it here for even more information.
Related Memes 9 total
Hyperborea |
Gotye Wokeuplikethis Hyperborea / Lore vs. Lore |
/his/ |
Finngolia |
Emu War |
Dune |
WE WUZ KINGS |
Lord Of The Rings |
4chan |
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