People Are Sharing Tips On How To Masturbate After Getting Tear Gassed

In perhaps the bleakest example of Modern Problems Require Modern Solutions ever, Twitter users are sharing advice on how to masturbate after being tear-gassed at one of the nations numerous protests against police brutality after the death of George Floyd.

On Saturday, Twitter user @fionerss tweeted "PRO TIP: if you are exposed to mace and/or tear gas DO NOT MASTURBATE, EVEN AFTER YOU WASH YOUR HANDS SEVERAL TIMES. this is not a joke i’m suffering" (a top reply asked "what could possibly turn you on after that," which, fair).

PRO TIP: if you are exposed to mace and/or tear gas DO NOT MASTURBATE, EVEN AFTER YOU WASH YOUR HANDS SEVERAL TIMES. this is not a joke i’m suffering

— fiona 🌻 🌈 (@fionerss) May 30, 2020

This set off a chain of people sharing similar experiences and concerns with others offering advice on how to touch yourself after coming in contact with the substance, which is banned in war by the Geneva convention, that has been regularly been used by police forces against American protestors during the protests.

Damn how long do you have to wait before it’s safe again

— jellyfishdenovo (@jellyfishdenov1) June 1, 2020

I feel your pain. I was CS gassed and ended up in the groin apocalypse after taking a shower.

— Mike Hermida (@MichaelHermida5) June 1, 2020

Among the constructive responses, Twitter users recommended waiting three days after getting tear-gassed before masturbating, even if you wash your hands multiple times. If you must masturbate, wear gloves.

Yeah wait at least 3 days before going at it barehanded 😂

— throw french fries at me (@feastwhenyoucan) June 1, 2020

i always tell ppl to wash thoroughly before using the washroom to not burn their junk while wiping, this is a whole new level.if u gotta masturbate after, do not trust that your hands are clean enough, even after multiple washes/a couple days. use gloves or keep your clothes on.

— Tony Hawk's bastard son ☭ (@cancelyouridols) June 1, 2020

As for how @fionerss could fathom getting off after experiencing police brutality, she put it quite simply:

girl it was the next day and i wasn’t even turned on i just needed dopamine i’m fuckin depressed 😭

— fiona 🌻 🌈 (@fionerss) May 31, 2020