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Do you find it hard to "feel the Christmas spirit" as an adult?

Last posted Jan 09, 2024 at 03:11PM EST. Added Dec 21, 2023 at 10:26AM EST
9 posts from 9 users

As a kid I had high opinions of the entire "fall/winter holiday season," with Halloween being the "nice spooky start," Thanksgiving as the "fun middle ground," and finally Christmas as "a nice way to end the year" (New Years is something I've never held much of an opinion on). Now as an adult it feels like Christmas in particular doesn't hold the same weight it used to in terms of what to look forward to. I don't get the same amount of time off work like I did back when I was in school, I'm a grown adult who buys everything for themselves rather than getting gifts from others, certain parts of my family aren't as tight nit as they used to be and I worry one day in the future one side of my family is going to hate me for being myself, and the birth of Christ could have been any time of the year, any reason why it has to be celebrated only one day a year?

I'm also voluntary single forever, no SO to share the holidays with so yeah there's that too.

For the last seven or so years, much of what you have said was why I didn't feel the emotional enjoyment that comes from celebrating the holidays. As a child you generally carry a greater sense of optimism about life and thus a different set of expectations about Christmas that gradually whittled down once the worries and burdens of adulthood take hold. In this case, I had been working a job that wasn't particularly fun around the end of the year. While it's true you will see more deeds of kindness and compassion, you REALLY see the worst in people at the same time. That constant barrage of seeing negativity while being unable to have nearly any day off except Christmas was mentally and physically draining to the point where enjoyment in doing things for the holiday felt oddly hollow.

I don't feel the same enjoyment getting gifts because I feel that I can take care of myself without having to accept things for free. I realize the emotional tie to gift giving makes it not the same as charity, but when someone does that I've this moral obligation to give something back. In most cases neither do I have many great ideas on what to give nor do I typically have a great deal of money to use towards getting that gift. I appreciate the thought but I'm content without gifts.

One of the big defining events that used to take place around this time of year was the huge family gathering. Parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, relatives, etc. would all come together and spend a day socializing and exchanging gifts while enjoying the delicious holiday food. It was difficult to get the full enjoyment from these due to my introverted nature, but I understood its overall importance. Unfortunately, what I didn't realize back then was how one family member was instrumental in bringing everybody together like that. When they passed away there has been no real effort to make this gathering happen. Don't feel too sad about this point, but that was one of the things to expect from Christmas time.

A huge factor that probably doesn't help is Christmas' strong ties towards being religious holiday. My family remains strongly tied to tradition and had spent years attempting to instill those beliefs into me, but I was unable to accept it as truth. I've seen too many contradictions in those teachings to find the ordeal believable. At most I do what I can to maintain some of the positive moralities they teach, but my mind is much too focused on what can be proven with science.

In conclusion it remains somewhat difficult to experience the "Christmas Spirit," but there have been positive steps made in the hopes of breaking away from the most negative aspects. The biggest step made so far is getting a new job that is much more enjoyable and allows me to participate in festivities more often. The decision to work towards losing weight has also been a great help in physically feeling better than what was experienced for years. I could be wrong, but I think when life around you changes you have to change yourself in order to be able to better enjoy what comes your way. That said, I hope everybody is able to enjoy Christmas this year and in the years ahead.

Not really, as long as I stay off the internet that's just gonna tell me the Christmas songs I like are shitty/racist/sexist etc. and and smear all sorts of "capitalism 100% bad, noexceptions" rhetoric in my face…

it's like the internet was tailor made to for you to have zero fun unless it's at some poor rubes expense…

I try to, what with everything I can, but a major player that was part of Christmases in the past is the tradition of being able to celebrate with my family members. The problem is that the ability to do that now is hanging by a thread.

On Christmas Eve every year, the tradition is that in the morning my direct family would share our gifts to each other (for my brothers and my childhood this was Santa gifts). We'd then go out to breakfast with my mother's family (grandparents, uncle and aunt and their kids) and then meet back in the evening to exchange gifts with them. Once I was able buy gifts for others, it became more cheerful to me because I liked seeing their reactions. Unfortunately, when my grandfather died in 2018, it became less so. We don't meet with my uncle family for breakfast anymore (which is even hard to find a good place that's not crazy busy), and while we still meet at their place, we don't exchange gifts anymore. In spite of that, I did manage to create a new tradition with them by playing party games such as Balderdash, Cards Against Humanity, and Taboo; those have created some great memories.

Christmas Day has always been the time we'd meet up my grandmother, step-grandfather, aunt & uncle and their kids on my dad's side. We would leave for my grandparents house in Benton Harbor in the morning and then the grand-kids would all open presents to them. After that, we would have breakfast served there, then while we didn't have to I would like to see what the parents all got as well. I mentioned before that I would also buy everyone else gifts when I got to, and my oldest cousin I would also create a new tradition by watching Todd in the Shadows videos together (we'd actually would do that anytime we meet, though Christmas seems to be the only time now). Unfortunately, while both grandparents are still alive, it's been hard for them to keep the tradition going. My grandmother has had several operation on her leg and is not as mobile as she once was before, requiring my aunt to move in with her as support. My step-grandfather is even worse; in 2019 he suffered two strokes and is now residing in a nursing home, still fully conscious but unable to fully move or speak. Because of these events, we now only have breakfast at my dad's apartment before eventually meeting there by the afternoon.

I've mentioned to my mother how I don't want these traditions to die, but every time she says the same thing: that time is coming to a close. The only way I can really start to make new Christmas memories with families is to start my own family, but as a single man in his 30s that seems more and more unlikely.

It's eroded greatly, but it's still there. I enjoy the days leading up to Christmas more than the day itself, the cool weather, festive decorations, wrapping presents, etc. After the gift giving exchange between friends and loved ones on Christmas itself, the rest of the day is uneventful. The childish anticipation to see what mysteries lie beneath the Christmas tree for me is long gone. I just like to make others happy now, to give than to receive.

I can relate to Oryaw, my late mother was a very pious women and the family would attend midnight mass on Christmas Eve each year. That stopped after she passed away and I, having lost faith, put a permanent end to that tradition long ago.

I don't have a family of my own nor particularly sure even I even want one ( a sour relationship has left me awfully jaded about romance), but I don't worry about finding myself alone during the holidays in future. It helps to have had a big family and, given my hobbies, I'll probably die before I reach old age anyways.

Nah. Obviously holidays in general are way less fun when your older, but I ain't gonna become a Grinch. (Not saying that anyone who feels otherwise is one, mind you). I can still get something out of it.

Yes you right currently I am in my 20s and I have no excitement in christmas. Actually My office not give me holiday on christmas so this day spent all my day at office and they don't celebrate it when all office employee are leaving then it gives a a christmas hat and one toffee. So that's why I have no excitement. And I also know my new year also spent like this.

Well, considering my birthday constantly gets screwed over by Christmas and New year's (January 4th is basically the moment everyone goes back home from the winter break, making it so much more complicated to organize around) I'm an adult who has everything I need, and both my teenhood dogs passed away within the Christmas timeframe, decades apart from each other….

…Let's just say there's a lot of reasons for me to be a Halloween and Thanksgiving fan instead.

Skeletor-sm

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