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KYM War Game

Last posted Aug 22, 2011 at 10:51PM EDT. Added Jul 31, 2011 at 01:34AM EDT
222 posts from 19 users

With no idea what he'd just gotten himself into, and certain of the fact that this That-guy must have been deafened by the sheer quantity of catastrophic explosions, Wheatley continued to announce just about everything his little optic was witnessing. Ponies were being blown to bits, while Osakan soldiers were being torn in two by love and tolerance alone. That and a whole bunch of crap the sphere couldn't understand. But for some reason, he felt relatively safe with this fellow. For now. He wasn't trying to kill him just yet. Oh. But what if he tried to? What then?

"Listen, whatever's going on here, I've got nothing to do with it…or at least I'm fifty percent sure about that. Going to say seventy, if that means anything to you. Seventy-five…eighty…/ninety/. Ninety percent sure. So if you have any reservations, at all--"

A nearby explosion silenced Wheatley. How close was that! It looked as if the Troll Army was keen on letting its presence known. "Hold me! Holdmeholdmeholdme!" Coward? Definitely. But Wheatley was keen on remaining alive through this ordeal.

RussianFedora awoke in a dark room.

He panted and caught his breath, completely at a loss for what happened.

When everything in his sight turned into reality, and the illusion of purple fog his eyes made faded…. He still couldn't see anything.

"Konichiwa!" Said a familiar voice, right in front of him.

RF searched his brain for the voice. Who was that? Family? No…. Friend? No….

Then, he realized.

"Chiyo-Chan?!??!?" He asked in amazement at the source of the voice.

"Yup!" Replied the voice.

"She speaks English too?" He thought to himself.

Before he could converse with her, he roughly awoke…. Again.

"OH COME ON!" He thought. He meant for that to be said out loud, but couldn't speak. He looked around. Blocks. Cubes. Large trees made of green and brown cubes, and castles made out of pixelated stone.

"Now I'm in Minecraft?" He thought to himself. He realized why he couldn't speak now, though.

He walked around for a while. He didn't like the fact that he was all blocky now, but he decided he had to deal with it.

Finally, after a long walk, he met up with a familiar face. Wheatley.

"WHEATLEY! OH, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU! I JUST MET CHIYO CHAN AN-" And Wheatley disappeared.

"Urrggghh" Fedora grunted.

For the final time, he awoke. This time, the world seemed real. His allies were huddled around him, trying desperately to revive him. He tried to say something, he tried to move, but he could do nothing. The conclusion he came to with this was he was watching through his body's eyes, but he was not alive.

He mustered all his strength, and he tried to become himself once again. He gathered energy through his heart and his eyes, his brain and his mind, his soul and his emotions, and his body lit up with energy. Electricity sparkled across his chest as he revived himself. After so much energy collected up, a huge beam of lightening fired out of his heart and exploded in a fiery blaze high up in the clouds. Energy sparkled and glistened as a surge in power smothered the sky in light.

And then, RussianFedora stood.

That-guy, attention grabbed by Troll Army incoming, up and ran. He had enough conflict for one day and wanted to tend to his Philosoraptor thoughts. Carrying Wheatley, he bolted off, it was times like these he was glad he was a pony, or a brony, whichever.
Galloping away quickly, That-guy finally found a nice secluded spot.

Away from all the action. Predicting Pwnzer to show up at any time he was on high guard.
That-guy just laid down and looked at the sky, observing everything, all while the sounds of battle roared in the distance.

If only Wheatley knew that this very pony he trusted with his life nearly killed an old friend. So much had happened in the past…what…sixty seconds? Time meant nothing to him really. It was kept in the span of 'things happening', and for a good lot of his life, that meant a lot of waiting.

Once they were away from the heart of battle, Red vs Blue from the looks of it, Wheatley also settled, safe and sound and able to watch to his heart's content. A light caught his attention. Warmth. Or something similar. He thought it was appropriate to be happy at the sight of it, just before realizing it could just as well be yet another explosion.

Shit was getting real down there now. Trolls carried signs that read 'THE GAME' in bold caps, and anyone with meat for a heart died instantly at the sight and comprehension of those words. One of the Osaka soldiers uncovered an old LP of Slim Whitman's song "Indian Love Call", which caused every extraterrestrial head to explode but was later masked by an equally loud playing of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up". Wheatley was grateful to be out of there…and yet something felt wrong. A chance to take it all back. All the horrible things he did. Friends were down there. He couldn't see them, but he knew.

RussianFedora could not take this war anymore. He gathered all his anger, and rushed into the air, gathering energy in his palms.

A huge ball of dark blue power filled up his palms, and with one breath he screamed at the top of his lungs and fired a great stream of laser at the collapsing camp.

"AUUUUUUUUUUURGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" He screamed as pure energy left his body and exploded on the camp, built on the slant of a mountain.

Fire consumed the forest, but all RussianFedora could see was liquid orange, flowing across the green, life-giving land like acid flowing across a meadow.

Then, he gathered an even greater ball of power, and aimed it straight at the main city of KYM, Homepage. But, he realized what would happen if he fired the energy at it. He simply waited in the air, not thinking about the energizing sphere of death he was holding. Finally, it's power level reached over nine THOOOUUUSSAANNDDD a too great amount, and a great, planetary orb of light exploded around RF. And out of the shimmering skin of this burning star, fire lanced out and burned the moist forest air. RF was sent flying straight down through the air to the ground, where he now lay, battered and torn, burnt and writhing in pain. Then, he noticed he was laying next to Wheatley.

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 12:54AM EDT

Then on the horizon there stood a Skeleton with glasses and scythe gleaming in the sun and robes as dark as the night. He then looked over the broken ground burnt with scars that would last for ages and yelled with a bloodcurdling yell that shook everyone who heard it.

Raising his weapon of doom and destruction did a cutting wave of darkness and yelled a word in a language that was undefinable by human ears and brought down many of the trolls but alas just himself wasn't enough so he brought out a horn of a demon and made a noise that blasted through the army.

A portal the size of which none of the trolls have seen rose from the ground and inside was many skeleton warriors. The reaper pointed and yelled in a dark voice,"CHARGE!!!!" The army ran from the top of the mountain, their red eyes where focused on the trolls and they would die yet again to protect every innocent and they rammed on to the trolls in a loud bang of metal and flesh. The reaper knew he was going to be involved in the most wild battle he ever fought.

That-guy noticed a charred body land right near him, but right next to Wheatley. Sitting up, he found out it was RF. Lying back down That-guy didn't really care that RF, the lad he had just conflicted with, and nearly killed, wanted vengeance. At the moment he was pondering, why ponies in war? He was not sure, but then he remembered Pinkies Plans, and he questioned Pinkies Plans. Something was off.

"Oh I don't know. Just me guessing and all. I tend to think about society and how if you do something unto them they do something back unto you and all that." That-guy said. As he looked up at SPAAAAAACCE. Or the sky, whichever time of day.

The reaper was pleased with the progress of the battle and felt a soul fading, he looked in the direction of which the soul was and found out that that there where two a pony and a man wearing a fedora,"Interesting." The reaper said as he approached the two.

He looked at them and he thought he should heal one, so he judged them and heal the most worthy.

He saw that the one wearing the fedora was a great sinner taking many lives with many powerful blast and deemed him unworthy. But….the pony he seemed innocent by his judgement and he was with a small ball whose past was unforeseeable. He deemed them both the ball and the pony worthy and reset their hourglasses.

"You think I take lives because I want to, Reaper? I take lives to free the citizens of this world from the pony menace! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE GONE THROUGH TO PROTECT THIS WORLD FROM ENSLAVEMENT? I don't believe you yourself understand what has happened here, and if it's the last thing I do…. I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL."

"Pick your scythe back up. I do not care if you are armed."

"The terms of the Duel: There are no rules, just do no summon your soldiers to fight for you."

At this, RussianFedora stood up, and a blazing light appeared in front of him. The light turned into a mighty Katana, and RussianFedora grabbed his sword, readied himself, and said "Your move, Reaper".

Natsuru awoke from a painful sleep and stood up. Her internal mana storage had mostly returned, but her body and soul still suffered damage from over usage of magical power. "I'm so stupid…" she muttered as she aimlessly wandered.

A squad of trolls surrounded her. "Tits or GTFO" One of them said. "I don't feel like either of them." Natsuru replied in a low tone "Perhaps another time?"
"FUCK YOU NIGGER!" Shouted one of them. "FALCON!!!! PUNC--!!"

Natsuru had grabbed the fist of the trolls falcon punch. "Suck it all in… Hells Refineing Fire."

She glew a magnificent white for a few brief seconds before redirecting all the trolls power upon his squad. "Thunder Blade"

Sizzling Blood few everywhere, as a spinning blade of electricity now was revolving around her. "Unfortunately I am going to have to rely on that tactic until my soul recovers." Natsuru said, energized. "However, it is perfectly fine for me."

That-guy was totally doing Philosoraptor thinking. Or something like that. Then asked ihmself a question.

"Maybe…maybe Osaka, Pokemans, and ponies aren't meant to fight. Myabe they are suppose to unite against a bigger threat."

RussianFedora stood on the hot ground, staring down with the Reaper.

"I said your move!" He said, slightly louder than appropriate.

"Arrggghh, I can't take your mind games!" RF yelled.

RussianFedora ran as fast as he could at the Reaper, and attempted to slice him across the chest with his sword, and was met with a scythe right to the stomach.

"Auuuggghhh…." He muttered. An all too familiar term to him. He collapsed to the ground , right at the Reaper's feet….

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 01:53AM EDT

The Reaper look to where his men where fighting and saw a force field, He wondered if it was one of his necromancers who needed help so he approached the shield killing every troll in his way with his scythe and took all their powers.

"NO! NOOOOO!!!!!!!" Fedora barked as he disappeared into the Reaper's field of energy.

RF fell into the netherworld. He was awed at the pure chaos this place emitted.

"I've gotta get outta here. I'll go mad!" He said to himself. And then, as he turned around, he was met with the face of Dr. Pwnzer.

Natsuru jumped out of the darkness and grabbed onto King Apple Blooms face. "Hells Refining Fire!!!"

Russian Fedora was absorbed into Natsuru.

"I won't let you touch him!!" She shouted.

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 02:05AM EDT

"Well looks like he has fan girls, im not a bad guy so ill let you keep him he lost anyway."
The reaper looked at the army in the distance.
"We have the same enemy we should team up together!"

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 02:05AM EDT

RussianFedora instantly was sucked into a light vortex, and now was in a beautiful world, filled with blue tones, and pink flowers, bright trees and….

Wait, he knew what was happening.

He was in Natsuru's mind!

"Natsuru, uhhhh. Thanks for the save. I don't know what to say. I'm flattered." RussianFedora said, before chuckling a little.

RussianFedora spoke to That-Guy in his mind.

"Ponies aren't here to enslave? Are you serious? Ponies have enslaved thousands to their will, under threat of annihilation! The ponies have only used you as a pawn, to destroy any resistance so they can hold all the power, as they wage war and kill millions! They are bent on enslaving every species, and becoming a great and powerful race, they want us to side with them, they want you to let your guard down! YOU MUST STOP THEM NOW! DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY ARE BENT ON? I thought they taught you love and peace? Well, does bombing a military camp for your own goal sound like love and peace? I think not. Please, join the resistance. You know the pony's plans, and you can stop them now, but only if you let go of the control they have over you."

That-guy responded though thought.

"Hm…just as Pinkie planned…" And then the realization hit That-guy.
"Well then…hail Lauren Faust! Or Celestia…I don't know! Whichever is good!"
That-guy aimed the designator at Apple Bloom.
"You ain't nothin' like Applebloom."
However more thoughts conflicted with That-guy, fire or not fire. He had accidentally mindfucked.

That-guy wrote:

That-guy responded though thought.

"Hm…just as Pinkie planned…" And then the realization hit That-guy.
"Well then…hail Lauren Faust! Or Celestia…I don't know! Whichever is good!"
That-guy aimed the designator at Apple Bloom.
"You ain't nothin' like Applebloom."
However more thoughts conflicted with That-guy, fire or not fire. He had accidentally mindfucked.

"Wait, you're actually siding with any of the ponies? Just side with Fluttershy, she is the only one not bent on destruction."

Then the idea came to That-guy, with major help from RF.

"It is decided then!" That-guy then aimed the designator at AppleBloom and pulled the trigger.
Nothing happened, or is that so? The Orbital Friendship Cannon turned in orbit and aimed at Applebloom. That-guy then pony shrugged and remarked.

"Hey, shit happens." And the cannon charged up it's lazer. But the warm up time took a while for this and was all k. That-guy had to work quickly to move RF and Natsuru and Wheatley out of blast range. WHICH WAS PRETTY FUCKING BIG.

Natsuru looked up and saw the light of the Freindship Cannon. "Ok then."

The wings of Judgement erupted from Natsuru's back and she began to accelerate away.

"That's why this is a newer version. Hence the warm up time. A prototype meant to fire at individual targets and cities."

That-guy then fumbled to put on sunglasses.
"Taste the rainbow."
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
That-guy then jumped to grab onto Natsuru with Wheatley.

And then the cannon fired at Applebloom. A huge trail of rainbows and lights, and laser to. Kicking up a huge cloud of earth.

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 02:58AM EDT

High above the battlefield hovered a lone brown pegasus with bright blue eyes his fro swaying in the wind.

"What is this sillyness, the trolls only procreate more slaughter with their pointless attempts to aggravate the ponies. and the ponies only further justify and fulfill the trolls by responding in turn. this is not the way ponies where taught. there is no love here, no tolerance, only hatred and anger spawning more anger and hatred."

Only growing more perturbed at the battle the Pegasus flys off to help any survivors of the conflict. knowing full well that if King Applebloom is involved that this battle wasn't going to end well for anypony.

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 03:08AM EDT

Natsuru struggled to keep the group up with her. The weight was tearing at her arms. At this rate the cannon would hit them.

"That-guy! Grab my boob!"

"Uhhh…."

"IF YOU WANT TO LIVE JUST DO IT!"

"Ok…" Honk

Natsuru suddenly accelerated at an upward angle away from the blast zone leaving a rainbow trail behind her. "WORLD PEACE!!!!"

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 03:13AM EDT

Natsuru Springfield wrote:

Natsuru struggled to keep the group up with her. The weight was tearing at her arms. At this rate the cannon would hit them.

"That-guy! Grab my boob!"

"Uhhh…."

"IF YOU WANT TO LIVE JUST DO IT!"

"Ok…" Honk

Natsuru suddenly accelerated at an upward angle away from the blast zone leaving a rainbow trail behind her. "WORLD PEACE!!!!"

RussianFedora watched recent events from Natsuru's eyes and had no idea how to respond.

"Oh don't give me that look." Natsuru said, briefly appearing inside her own mind in front of Russian Fedora. "I will get you out soon, so hang in there."

Natsuru landed inside a nearby forest, right on top of Kasrkai. "Oh, it's you again." Natsuru said dropping her passengers.

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 03:30AM EDT

"Aw, I kinda like it here. Plenty of sunlight, lots of cute little animals, and I'm pretty sure that Bonsai over there was talking about Sakaki.

"Is that a stripping doctor over there?"

Piano wrote:

"Aw, I kinda like it here. Plenty of sunlight, lots of cute little animals, and I'm pretty sure that Bonsai over there was talking about Sakaki.

"Is that a stripping doctor over there?"

Resulting in 10 seconds of instantaneous mind thunderstorm and forest fire before everything reverting to normal.

The wind didn't resume though for another full minute.

"Ok, I will let you out now."

Last edited Aug 01, 2011 at 03:35AM EDT

Natsuru Springfield wrote:

Resulting in 10 seconds of instantaneous mind thunderstorm and forest fire before everything reverting to normal.

The wind didn't resume though for another full minute.

"Ok, I will let you out now."

↑ Natsuru has something against stripping doctors.

as the Pegasus flys about looking for wounded he suddenly notices a rainbow out in the field

"what the…" squinting he recognizes the spiky red tail of one of his few friends That-guy hanging desperately to the blouse of a human female with a metal ball in his teeth

"what is that-guy doing?" the last time larrz had heard fron That-Guy he had been digging up information About project Pink-E.

"what could this mean…" Larrz began to follow the group, keeping a safe distance behind so as to not attract attention

Doctor Pwnzer remembered he had another bomb: A bomb that made all the Geocide Bombs look pitiful: The SEPULCHROBOMB! (always spelled in all caps and with an exclamation point). The SEPULCHROBOMB! could be tuned so the radiation only would kill people with the certain DNA or brainwave types in the SEPULCHROBOMB!'s computer guidance system. Pwnzer cackled maniacally. This would be his finest hour!

EP73 separates from the team, to infiltrate the Pwnzer cult's technology base. He pressed random buttons, "SEPULCHROBOMB! Deactivated." the database said. As soon as he had done this, he turned around to see Dr. Pwnzer. Angry. EP73 got ready for a fight. "So you think you can foil my plans, eh? Well, you're wrong! Prepare to die." "Never!" EP73 pulled out his Bladed Nunchuck. "Your move."

Wheatley, having actually rewound the events he totally missed after being shocked by RF's smouldering body, shutting off to take a bit of a nap for six hours, suddenly realized that however safe he thought he was--well, it was all a lie, really.

He had no weapons on him and no hands to use them if he did. He was the 'flight' instead of 'fight' sort, but he wasn't beyond encouraging others with his magnificent ideas. When the reaper appeared, he had to go back to his books on that one, because as far as he knew skeletons weren't supposed to be doing any moving on their own. Being found innocent or whatever was kind of nice, but hearing that his fedora'd friend was in clear violation upset him a little.

It didn't matter really. Things escalated quickly from there. Grabbed by That-guy before a rainbow explosion of mass proportions took out just about everything in sight, Wheatley naturally panicked. That-guy grabbed Natsuru's boob, and they were off.

"If you could just wedge me between them, that'd be lovely!"

What? He didn't have hands? anditsnice.

They landed well, though some more shit was going on that he had trouble understanding. They were in some random forest with a nudist? A nudist. Humans were awfully pasty and strange without clothing.

Wheatley wasn't wasting all his time until now. He was doing research on the Google machine to get a better idea of what he missed up in space. Beyond the spoiler tags, at the end of the internet, just beyond oldmemes and some digital cobwebs, plans began to surface. It appeared as if not all the ponies agreed with their General…but hey--it also appeared KYM had a vacancy in its 'facility management' department. He had some experience with that! Perhaps he could bring an end to this war…if he could simply control it.

Natsuru used a Permanent Summoning method to return Russian Fedora to the real world. "Welcome back you."

Pwnzer was talking so loud to himself that it would have been impossible for somebody in a 5 mile radius not to hear him. However, all Natsuru could make out was that he had a extremely big bomb.

"If he does end up using that bomb, If I get close enough to the explosion I can absorb it all and redirect it against him." Natsuru explained. "But there is a slight chance that I might burst because of it. If we want to stop Pwnzer, we will have to use a safer tactic."

"When the time comes, I want you to fire the Orbital Friendship Cannon at me. I can combined the energy with a Master Spark and obliterate pwnzer wherever he is hiding."

Pwnzer's voice dropped to a whisper.
"Those fools have no idea what they're doing."
He sighed.
"Though, getting rid of the scum would be a lot easier if I had the Death Note….why the hell did I burn it???"
He paused.
"Oh yeah, the heat went out and I was freezing to death…..heh heh. The Death Note saved my life: lol irony"

Skeletor-sm

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