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Welcome, patrons of the elements. Nearly three dozen champions from eight different worlds have been selected to fight on your behalf. Come claim your power and your champion, and help to weave this tale. Any element, no matter how strange, may be picked. When you wish, you may declare any currently known characters to be your champion, and this individual will be blessed with powers appropriate to the element you are the patron of. Beware of making your choices too rashly, as you may not alter your decisions later on, and if your champion perishes then so do your powers. No two patrons may share a power or a champion.

Now I, Syndic, claim the power of Author, and grant the power of Illustrator to Moargun.

For each of our prospective champions, you will witness the story as it unfolds from their own eyes, and influence them with your powers. Come now ye patrons, sit, and declare the element which you represent. First we visit the mind of a young human, our first of many…

Your name is Rick Foster. You are an eighteen year old hipster with an interest in internet culture and online games. Today is April 20th, a special day to any delinquent your age, and you have purchased a poster and 'supplies' to commemorate the occasion. Your Crapple Jacbook laptop sits open on your bed, begging for your attention. Your 'yolo pipe' is also beckoning, along with a number of other inanimate objects you could interact with. Not knowing which route to choose, you stand around smiling like a doofus.

What dost thou do?

>

>jump out window

>Blaze it.

>tie noose

>Change your name to Joseph Joestar

*Jonathan Joestar.

*Jonathan Joseph Jotaro Joestar Kujo
There! Badass enough?

*Jonathan Joseph Jotaro Josuke Joestar Kujo Higashikata.
fixed.

>pray to thom yorke

You decide, rather erratically, to contemplate leaping from the window. Jumping from a third floor window is not your idea of a fun time. You could break something. You decide not to, and step back from the window, shaking the thought from your head.

I claim the element of Water with my hero being Rick.

>check KYM for other users to invite to celebrate (all these supplies seem pointless to use alone)

Everyone else: get to picking an element!

i pick fire
>cry

>Notice that the window looks like a fat ass…

>make a fourm on lym about your life as a game and do what they say

>look under bed

>Ram into your wall
>Break the 4th wall and enter CaleQuest
>????
>Profit

>Look at some morp magazines.

>learn too cook?

>get on the crapple jacbook and listen to daft punk's new track

> Check out that poster with the creepy dog…thing.

>retrieve arms

(Oh come on, you KNEW this was coming.)

>Title thread

>Do a backflip

I claim electricity as an element.

>Pray to Thom Yorke

I shall issue this command until you take it or until this game ends unceremoniously, as is always the case. Whatever comes first.

Also, I claim Sound as an element.

Element: Light

Element: Heart.
hey, heart's an element! just watch Captain Planet!

You feel a tingling sensation, and are strangely aware of the fact that your body weight is mostly composed of water. In fact, it seems almost as if the very water vapors in the air around you are speaking your name. You have inherited the responsibilities of a champion! Cyber6x, the patron of Water, has gifted you powers beyond the scope of normal human capabilities. Although, you aren't quite certain what that means yet. Or even that it happened. In fact, you are fairly certain right now that you might have smoked something without realizing.

A neat looking amulet appears suddenly on your bed. You aren't sure whether to doubt your sanity or assume that you lost track of how high you were. Either way, this necklace needs to be worn, and you can't resist putting it around your neck.

This new bling is totally cramping your cool hipster internet style, but for some reason it just feels right.

>Pray to Thom Yorke

Come on, give me this. I don't even have a prom date.

>Be another person

>retrieve arms from the closet

Illicit magazines are littered on the floor under your bed, just barely out of sight. You decide to grab one and examine the cover.

Dem hawt lady parts. This is your favorite Morp. You feel that they might have gone downhill since this edition. Now might not be the best time to study anatomy, however, as more important things are transpiring. Such as, for instance, apparating blue amulets.

>fap

>Take hits from the 'yolo pipe'.

>Pray to Thom Yorke.

I don't care if you don't know who he is, Google is your friend.

>masterbate

>Pray to Tom York.
I don't care if I don't know who he is, Bing is my enemy.

>OPEN IRC CHANNEL.

Jesus, people, let a guy dream a little.

>booty call time

>play with your new claimed element?

>Open IRC Channel and chat with KYM users about the New Badass Game trending but its underground enough for you to like ironically.

>Go outside and ask someone who controls electricity for a fight with your new powers.

You stuff the Morp magazine back under your bed and turn to the Crapple Jacbook, which already has a number of ironic and cool tabs open about internet jokes and games. You swap tabs over to your exclusive and awesome IRC chat room. At that moment, who should appear but your best bud, who goes by the handle kawaiikawaiipls.

>Be another person

>DO A BACKFLIP

You are now Wo Cheng, the eponymous kawaiikawaiipls from Rick's IRC channel. You are also eighteen. You share an interest with him in internet jokes, as well as cute things, Japanese popular culture, and video games. The day is still April 20th, but you aren't 'down' with the same crowd as Rick, and don't have plans for today. You are pretty excited about your new triple x rated sim game. The cable went out earlier today, so you've spent most of the afternoon playing it. The static fuzz sound emanating from your television fills the otherwise soundless void in your room, and a grin creeps across your face. Staring deeply into the greyish haze of the tv, you plot your next move…

Claim the girl with the eponymous handle.
>embrace dakimakura

>Wo: dream about cute anime boys.

(The urge to simply say "fap" was incredibly hard to resist.)