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Alejandro's Murder Mystery Thread, Book X: Dusting Off the Shelf

Last posted May 11, 2013 at 06:15AM EDT. Added Apr 21, 2013 at 11:02AM EDT
135 posts from 13 users

It's back. My shitty thread. It's finally back.

Okay, so the first ten people to post will be deemed the "players." I will randomly choose one of the players to be the murderer hidden amongst you all. Once the murderer is chosen, he/she will PM me telling me which player he/she would like to kill for that round. The murderer should act as one of the other players and not reveal himself/herself. If there are any questions, post them in this thread. Now then, shall we begin?

Alrighty then. First ten people. Go.

And good luck, everyone.

Cronus wrote:

Fuck me…
I'm too slow.
I'm too slow…
But I guess this would be fun to watch.

It's cool bro. I'll let you in because you and Chowz were supes to the max close to each other.

As of now, the entries are closed!

I will choose the murderer randomly and once he/she responds, I'll get on writing the thread bois!

My bad. Let's get this shit rolling.

>Be 11 losers
>Be camping at lake
>Do gay shit a lot while there
>Derpson and Chowz especially are homosexually attracted to each other
>That's not relevant
>The guys are sitting on the ledge of a bridge above the lake
>All of a sudden a quiet yet sharp noise cuts the air
>The noise ends abruptly as they look around to see what the noise was
>All of a second sudden
>"Where's Bob?" asks Robotnik
>Falcon screams like a four-year-old girl
>Points straight down
>Bob is belly-down in the lake
>Blood trickling from a single arrow through his back into his heart
>Oh yeah he's dead, no doubt
>Chowz and Herpson are making out and don't hear the commotion
>"We were all here" says Markhaox
>"WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME" shouts Nightmare Medic
>Whole shitload of commotion
>Ten little Indians left

Player List:
Medic
Falcon
Level4
Markhaox
Bob
404
Robotnik
Serious Business
Derpson
Chowz
Samuel

Last edited Apr 27, 2013 at 01:42PM EDT

hmm… He took out Bob, who is a veteran at things like this…
He seems more likely to have done this before, yet the guy still possibly could be a newcomer.

If I were going by my theory, the only plausible murderer would be Me or 404. Since it's a highly low chance, I''m discrediting that theory, and just thinking it was a random attack.

Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

If I were going by my theory, the only plausible murderer would be Me or 404. Since it's a highly low chance, I''m discrediting that theory, and just thinking it was a random attack.

I can see why you would theorize yourself as the murderer because it falls in line with my own suspicions about Nightmare Medic: the two of you were being extremely histrionic about the ordeal. However, I don't see the plausibility of 404 being the murderer. Could you please explain, my good sir? This could help out the rest of us, you know.

Must be medic, cause he's a medic.
And why would I like a rager fist anyway?
Edit: It's Derpson, not Herpson. You damn dummy.

Last edited Apr 27, 2013 at 03:20PM EDT

level4outbreak wrote:

I can see why you would theorize yourself as the murderer because it falls in line with my own suspicions about Nightmare Medic: the two of you were being extremely histrionic about the ordeal. However, I don't see the plausibility of 404 being the murderer. Could you please explain, my good sir? This could help out the rest of us, you know.

As I explained in a previous post, Bob was killed first. Now, I theorized that Since Bob was killed first, and he had experience with this game, someone had to have known of his experience. Now, the only ones here who have played a game of this before are me and 404. And I'm not the murderer, so that leaves too little of a chance for it to be plausible.

Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

As I explained in a previous post, Bob was killed first. Now, I theorized that Since Bob was killed first, and he had experience with this game, someone had to have known of his experience. Now, the only ones here who have played a game of this before are me and 404. And I'm not the murderer, so that leaves too little of a chance for it to be plausible.

I can see your point. I also agree with your assessment on the plausibility of your own theory. We must also take into account the possibility that this murderer has no course of action. Perhaps they will be choosing victims at random, regardless of experience in such games.

level4outbreak wrote:

I can see your point. I also agree with your assessment on the plausibility of your own theory. We must also take into account the possibility that this murderer has no course of action. Perhaps they will be choosing victims at random, regardless of experience in such games.

Yes, I realized exactly that.

Franco wrote:

Wait, wasn't Serious Business the murderer of Captain Falcon's murder mystery thread?
Could he be the killer in this one too?

No, The murder of MY murder mystery thread was MYSELF. I had THOUGHT serious was in a game…
Sorry for double post.

Last edited Apr 27, 2013 at 03:40PM EDT

Day 1:
Bob is dead, Chowz and Derpson are still sitting in a corner together, Medic is crying over Bob, Robotnik has no idea what's going on, Captain Falcon shocked me by screaming like a child, and everyone else has remained silent. Nothing else has happened from last night, and accusations are being thrown left and right…
Sets journal down, ready for another day.


I never liked this lake. Not enough trees, and too many mosquitoes.

But it looks like they're not the only bloodsuckers in our midst. I hear screams: and somebody points to the lake.

"Holy crap! It's BOB!" he shouts, pointing to something floating in the murky water. I approach, and it isn't a pretty sight. Fresh blood is still coloring the water around him, the dark crimson mixing with the vomit-green algae in the still water. He's been shot.

"An arrow?" I wonder aloud, not even trying to contain my surprise. The others start to panic: shouting and crying – all except the homosexuals, who seem oblivious to the danger at hand. Maybe it's better that way. Let them enjoy what time they have, for it seems we're all in danger.

Naturally, no one can leave now – not without raising even more suspicions. The commotions calms down, and a dread quiet falls over the group.

I squash a mosquito that landed on my neck. Not letting that bloodthirsty monster get me today.

Laud "The Bear Jew" Piestrings wrote:

While we wait… me and my imaginary friend will play tag in the woods.

Imaginary?
In the woods?
Sounds a bit like you're going to wait any try to murder someone…

Writes in journal.
Day 2: Nothing else since yesterday has happened. Buddy, my friend, got lost somewhere in the woods, but I found him and tagged him after awhile. Derpson finally left the corner, while Chowz is still sitting in the corner, desperately waiting for him. Serious is trying to solve the mystery, but the way he's doing it, I'm not entirely sure he'll find the culprit.

Only Buddy knows who it is, and he's off somewhere, walking by himself. He won't tell me anything yet, but maybe today there will be answers.
Sets journal down.

Last edited Apr 29, 2013 at 07:47AM EDT

OK, everyone. For our characters here, I will ask each of you horror movie logic questions, and if you answer them, we can get a better idea on who it might be.
First question:
Are your characters, other than Chowz and Derpson, virgins?
Mine is… unfortunately.
…
Next question: What's your character's race?
White.
…
Final question: Have you used any of the following on the trip: alcohol, marijuana, crack, coke, meth, or anything similar to that?
I have not.

Laud "The Bear Jew" Piestrings wrote:

OK, everyone. For our characters here, I will ask each of you horror movie logic questions, and if you answer them, we can get a better idea on who it might be.
First question:
Are your characters, other than Chowz and Derpson, virgins?
Mine is… unfortunately.
…
Next question: What's your character's race?
White.
…
Final question: Have you used any of the following on the trip: alcohol, marijuana, crack, coke, meth, or anything similar to that?
I have not.

1.
By the way, yes.

2. White.

3. All that tastes like sh*t and burns my tongue, none of it.

chowzburgerz wrote:

I won't miss you if you die. I hope you die before me.

It's funny how we hate ourselves like a cat and a dog while Alejandro writes the complete opposite.
If anyone dies, I hope it's you.

Laud "The Bear Jew" Piestrings wrote:

OK, everyone. For our characters here, I will ask each of you horror movie logic questions, and if you answer them, we can get a better idea on who it might be.
First question:
Are your characters, other than Chowz and Derpson, virgins?
Mine is… unfortunately.
…
Next question: What's your character's race?
White.
…
Final question: Have you used any of the following on the trip: alcohol, marijuana, crack, coke, meth, or anything similar to that?
I have not.

1. Yes…

2. White

3. Ooh! I wanna be the alcoholic!

Laud "The Bear Jew" Piestrings wrote:

OK, everyone. For our characters here, I will ask each of you horror movie logic questions, and if you answer them, we can get a better idea on who it might be.
First question:
Are your characters, other than Chowz and Derpson, virgins?
Mine is… unfortunately.
…
Next question: What's your character's race?
White.
…
Final question: Have you used any of the following on the trip: alcohol, marijuana, crack, coke, meth, or anything similar to that?
I have not.

Yes, white, and yes,

>Sitting around campfire
>Mourning the death of Bob, the dearly departed
>Medic, Falcon, and Level4 decide it would be best to burn the body
>Everyone else agrees
>Perform viking ritual funeral
>Make raft hastily out of twigs
>After pulling the arrow out, decide to shove it back in for the sake of the ritual
>Put raft on water
>Douse body in kerosene
>Light Bob's body on fire
>It goes up in flames immediately and burns SB's eyebrows off
>He looks ridiculous
>Go back to campfire
>Drinking champagne and toasting to Bob
>Chowz says he has an announcement
>Dis gon' b gud
>Gets down on one knee in front of Derpson
>Derpson is crying
>"Honey, we've known each other for so long"
>"You're heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it"
>"A full commitment's what I'm thinking of"
>Pulls out ring
>"Will you marry me?"
>Just as Derpson is about to respond, he falls limply off his seat, dropping his glass
>"HONEY?"
>Derpson feels faint
>"Chowz, bb, I…"
>"It's okay…"
>"Yes…"
>"Yes what?"
>"Yes I will marry you"
>"Or… I would… If I could just…"
>Derpson is fekken ded
>Chowz screams at the sky "NOOOOOOO!"
>Samuel says "Guys, over here"
>Everyone runs to where Derpson's dead body now lays
>They smell a pungent odor being emitted from the champagne
>It's ammonia
>Derpson was anosmic, he would have never smelled it
>He had four glasses
>Chowz, holding Derpson's limp corpse, vows to avenge him
>They turn in for the night, leaving the corpse where it is
>And then there were nine

Player List:
Medic
Falcon
Level4
Markhaox
Bob
404
Robotnik
Serious Business
Derpson
Chowz
Samuel*

Skeletor-sm

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