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Eat vomit. Shit tastes like doodie.

Would you rather live in a world without cell phones, or live in a world without toilets?

My own vomit for two reasons:
1. I can't drink to excess without vomiting, and I already got used to the taste.
2. If I ate my own shit, I'd be as disgusting as this…

EDIT: Damn, beaten to the punch.
I'd rather live in a world without toilets, because I can go natural just as easy as on a throne.

Would you rather be coated in cake batter and pleased by five men and one woman, or strapped to a bed for an S&M session with five women and one man?

Damn, that's kinky. I'll take the S&M.

Would you rather
write a great book, but they'll make a movie of it and it'll suck (you don't make money from the movie)
or
create a great video game, but will have crappy sequels (you don't make money from the sequels)

I'll take the book, because videogames are mainstream.

Would you rather live for 2 more years, but with excellent health, not even catching a cold.
Or…
Living for 30 years, but you'll get sick more often. Don't worry, you won't get any deadly illness.

I'll take my chances with 30.

Would you rather:

Swallow a slug?
OR
Swallow a wasp?

A wasp, because it's smaller, and I'm not allergic to them.

Zombie Apocalypse with a shotgun, pistol and machete.
Or
Robot Revolution with an RPG, AK-47, grenades and a ninja sword.

Zombies are slow, but you'll get weaker weapons.
Robots are faster and smarter, and some have machine guns. But you got OP weapons.

Zombie apopcalapse. Even if my weapons don't work, I'm a pretty fast little guy.
…………………………………….

Would you rather attend Acme Looniversity from Tiny Toon Adventures as your favorite character from said show…?

Or…

Become the long lost fourth Warner sibling of Yakko, Wakko and Dot from Animaniacs?

(Why no, I didn't just watch Tiny Toon Adventures recently, why do you ask?)

Acme Looniversity.

Noclip ability or invisibility?

Noclip, because if nothing else it'd be great to hid in the walls and scare people walking by.

Omniscience or omnipotence. Note: You cannot use one to get the other.

Omniscience. I don't know what it is.

Would you rather only play games on a PC (no emulators) or on a game console that can play any video game?
inb4 pc master race

Game console that plays any game.
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Would you rather have to watch Johnny Test non-stop for 3 weeks straight?

OR…

Would you rather have to spend 3 weeks handcuffed to Miley Cyrus?

Handcuffed to Miley. Just imagine the EPIC trolling: famous celebrity and tween role model forced to put up with some random nerd. While eating dinner, while watching TV, while taking a shower…plus I would be famous!

Would you rather go to 6 flags or Disneyland (I cant think of anything right now)

6 flags.

Dicks or dicks?

Ummmmm, d***s?
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Would you rather hang out with Dexter?

Or hang out with Jimmy Neutron?

Both are boy geniuses who make cool things.

Dexter. While Jimmy has a cooler personality and will be much less irritating and pedantic to hang out with. He doesn't have a giant lab or inventions that are nearly as awesome compared to what Dexter has. For one thing, Dexter will let you take his giant mecha for a spin

Would you rather have plastic surgery to look like Steve Buscemi or Gary Busey

Wow. That's really, really hard.

Um…

Steve Buscemi.

I can probably fool people into thinking I'm a meth addict instead of just ugly.

EDIT: Oh, Jesus, how embarassing. I didn't post a "Would you rather…"

Good thing I caught it before I got locked out of editing… I don't necessarily expect the person directly below me to answer it as a result, but oh well!

Would you rather:

• Endure torture that lasts 10 hours but only rates a 3 out of 10 on the Pain-O-Meter.

OR

• Endure torture that lasts 10 minutes but rates 10 out of 10, and will probably leave lasting damage.

dawg

Would you rather give up bacon or give up pizza

Since kebab didn't answer Owens I'll assume he picked both: 10 hours and 10 minutes of torture that ranks 13 on the pain scale

I choose to give up bacon. It's bad enough that I'll lose Meatlovers and Hawaiian pizza. I can't lose my Chicken & Cranberry Pizza either.

Would you rather rip a toenail off or slice your lip open?

Rip a toenail.

dawg or torture for 48 hours in 100 on pain scale?

Dawg, I guess.
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SeeS or SooS?

SeeS
____________________________________
Would you rather play all Angry Birds games 24/7 or play better games for only 5 minutes a day, while the rest of your day is just watching Annoying Orange?

Angry Birds.

Would you rather chew on glass or piss acid

Acid. What's with the painful choices?

Your waifu/husbandu becomes real, but you can't be in a relationship.
or
You only get one day with him/her to do what you please.

@FlyShyGuy
Hey, angry birds not that bad.
Annoying orange?
dawg(dawg means both combined, so one day with her without a relationship.)

Tits or GTFO?

GTFO
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Would you rather have every word on this website replaced with swear words?

OR…

Have every user on here including yourself turn into that little goat?

Swear words. I've seen enough of that goat.

Would you rather
View every image in the cringeworthy gallery nonstop one minute per image
or
Masturbate while your dad watches?

Definitely the cringeworthy images.

Would you rather transform into an extremely annoying fast blue anthropomorphic hedgehog capable at moving at supersonic speeds

OR

a mechanical genius who is somewhat overweight, has a brilliantly thick mustache, and is capable of building entire robot armies in a short manner of time

The Genius. And I'll do what he should have done years ago, and make an underwater fortress.

Would you rather be Goat-tan's sex slave for one day
or
be Goat-tan's vidya gaem buddy for a month?

Definately Goat-tan's video game bud.
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Would you rather be a baby and go on adventures with Tommy Pickles and pals.

OR

Would you rather be the Kablammiest person around on Kablam!?

I'd be a baby.

Would you rather meet Filthy Frank in person or meet Chin Chin?

Uh… FF?

Would you rather…
Eat a gallon of cake batter

or

Drink a gallon of melted chocolate?

Probably the melted chocolate. Either way I'll probably get sick.
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Would you rather eat nothing but Spaghetti and meatballs for the rest of your life

OR….

Eat nothing but Subway Subs and Doritos for the rest of your life?

I'll go with Subway and Doritos. At least there's vegetables.

Would you rather turn into a cat, but you'll live in the streets, and finding food might get difficult; but HEY, you are super agile and have human inteligence.
OR
Turn into a fat guinea pig. You'll have owners who'll feed you delicious stuff, but you are fat and moving is difficult.

Handy or blowy?

I blow everything.

Heart surgery from Medic
or
whatever it is Aperture Science does to guests who want an extra $100.

Medic's a great surgeon right…?
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Would you want to be able to travel to any fictional worlds of TV shows, video games, books, etc., but at the cost of never being able to return to the "real world".

OR…

Be able to bring any fictional character to life…at the cost of one person from the "real world" disappearing and going who knows where?

First one. Bringing them to this world will be a lot of trouble, since I'd need to keep them away from any other person, and they'd live a terrible life.

Would you rather get a NES/SNES/N64 (only one of them) with 10 games of your choice
or
A Deluxe edition of PS4 with GTA V and Assasin's Creed: Black flag.

Considering I already have an N64, SNES, NES, and PS3 with those two games, I'd go for the PS4.

^ That's the game I'm going for.

Would you rather have an alien probe you, but its for both of your pleasures, or be abducted to serve as breeding stock?

I'll go with the first one. I don't want children.

Every person you have sexual intercourse with will find true love the next week
or
You get an attractive partner, but if you kiss someone other than him/her, she'll die a horrible death in your presence.

The first one –who am i gonna have sex with?–

Would you rather live the life of Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black?

Bieber, he actually does have fans. Rebecca Black does not.

Would you rather be inside of an action/adventure vidya gaem with the possibility of you being seriously wounded or killed or be inside an actionless sim or puzzle vidya gaem?

Action vidya. Because YOLO.
Soldier as your roommate
or
Soldier as your trainer

Soldier as your trainer. Roommate's weird.

Would you rather live next to an active volcano, or have to explain My Little Pony Rule 34 to your entire family

Live by an active volcano. My parents would kill me.
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Would you rather look at all the material on 9gag nonstop for 80 days.

OR

Look at all the material on Lemon Party nonstop for 80 days.

Look at 9gag nonstop. It's just a bunch of pictures from other sites.

Would you rather prevent FCKH8 and WBC from existing or watch them fight?

Watch them fight. It would be too amusing to miss.

Would you rather listen to this song through its entirety 100 times
OR
this song through its entirety 100 times?

I didn't expect to say it, but number 1

Would you rather fist will smith for 6 hours or punt a wasp nest more then 20 feet?

Wasp nest. I don't want to hurt Will.

Would you rather:
Have Rocket Jumping be possible, and the Trolldier set; plus reduced fall damage
or
Double jumping ability, 2x your speed and 3x your stamina; plus better reflexes

Double jumping ability and its stuff.

Blasphemy or Madness?

Blasphemy. Madness is insane!

Oscar or Nobel Prize?