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@Digoxin

What’s with the painful choices?

Sadism

I'll go with the Oscar. Hardly anybody cares about either but I think people care about the oscars more

Toilet seat up or toilet seat down?

Down. I don't truly care either way, but it's better to go to the bathroom and not find the seat up after someone's just done their business.

Start an argument with an SJW on Tumblr, or browse through /b/ for one hour straight?

Browse /b/. SJWs are immeasurably more obnoxious than 4chan could ever hope to be.

YNG did not offer a choice so I will make one for him:

Would you rather be awesome or awesome?

We'll that's a tough choice there YNG, The Grey. But I think I'll go with awesome.

Would you rather spend he rest of your life eating only plan salads with no mayo OR the rest of your life eating only turducken soaked in grease

I'll go with the salads.

Would you rather listen to the entire discography of Justin Bieber or watch every episode of Jersey Shore?

I'd watch every episode of JS. At least I can laugh at how dramatic and ridiculous the show is.

Would you rather fight an angry, drunken (but not impaired) Andre the Giant (if he was still alive) or run through Harlem in blackface?

Harlem. You didn't specify which Harlem so I'm running across a street called Harlem Avenue that's in my neighborhood.

Would you rather have a SNES or Sega Genesis?

SNES. I already have like 2 Sega genesis's…

Would you rather be crushed by a ton of feathers or a ton of elephants?

Mind if I ask what an SJW is?

Also, feathers, I imagine are more comfy.

Would you rather lose your genitals or dominant hand?

A ton of feathers. They would just spread out and fall around me.

Would you rather be forced to walk around naked with all of your family members for an hour or be forced to wear clothes non stop for a week?

Wear Clothes.

Would you rather be forced to browse 9gag for 2 hours straight everyday, or the bad part of DeviantArt for 2 hours everyday.

Ninja'd! Probably browse 9gag. I'll lose faith in humanity at a far slower pace there than Deviantart.
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Would you rather be Spiderman for a month or Batman for a week?

Batman.

Would you rather go to Hell for eternity or Heaven for eternity? Assuming they exist.

"Social Justice Warrior."

randomly bombards in Would you rather eat a stick of butter or snort a tablespoon of salt?

@Lori S – You didn't answer the prior question, but I'll answer yours.

Eat a stick of butter. I would get hurt really badly if I snorted salt, but the butter would just make me a bit sick.

Would you rather eat a snail, or listen to this song on repeat? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCyp614J20A

hand me the fucking snail

will you rather have an lvl 1 lucardo or lvl 100 magikarp

LVL 100 MAGIKARP!!!!!!1!!1!111

Would you rather have an Xbox One or a Wii U?

Xbox One. I could just sell it and get a few hundred bucks.

Would you rather be scolded by your school principal in front of your parents, or be forced to apologize to a teacher in the middle of a class (full with 30 students)?

I'd go for the latter--it isn't as humilating as the first one.

Would you rather be forced to play Just Dance 2 every day for 6 hours straight for one year(you can still eat and go to the bathroom, though), or become a character on Family Guy?

Family Guy. At least then I can hide my passion of just dance 2 for a few more years Have some free time.

Would you rather literally do nothing a hour every day for a year or be forced to play any Kinect game of your choice for two hours everyday for three years.

Do nothing for one hour. If I couldn't do anything, I literally wouldn't be able to think about or comprehend myself doing nothing.

Would you rather stick your penis into a beehive for 30 seconds or an anthill for 30 seconds? Assuming you're allergic to neither one.

Ants. Assuming it's a regular anthill, not fireants or army ants, etc, they won't actually do anything. They should just run around acting confused.

Bees on the other hand will immediately think "fuck this dick" and shove their asses on it

….wait, what the hell did I just write?

Would you rather drink sewer water or rotten milk

Give them both the D.

"Would you rather drink sewer water or rotten milk?"
Rotten milk; at least I know what I am drinking.

Would you fight a Bear or a steroid injected Colonel Sanders in mortal combat?

Colonel Sanders since he's dead.

Would you rather be Jar Jar Bink's spouse (even if you're male) for a year & gain $100, or become a billionaire for the rest of your life?

Billionaire for the rest of your life.

Would you rather record and produce a one hit wonder or star in only one film?

Star in one film. More people would remember me.

Would you rather bathe in hot wax (150 degrees F.) for 10 minutes naked, or play dodgeball (with basketballs) against 20 of the best NFL players (with you naked & alone) for 30 minutes?

Dodgeball, definately.
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Would you rather swap bodies with your favorite actor or your favorite animal?

Favourite animal. #sloth4life

Would you rather be able to run at 100 miles per hour, Or fly at 10 miles per hour?

Fly. I could scare the shit out of people by flying above them. Besides, now I can climb buildings, and never fall!

Would you rather never have any sexual contact in your life (sex, beating the meat, etc.) but be horny all the time, or live in a a mansion with unlimited wishes & money, but never get to leave the solar system (and no, wishes cannot undue this)?

Live in a a mansion with unlimited wishes & money, but never get to leave the solar system… I have unlimited wishes, right? I'll just wish up some new earths!

Would you rather Eat a pinecone? Or poop a pinecone?

Just remember, the spikes on a pinecone…

I rather eat the pine cone thank you very much.

Would you rather walk alone in a random forest with Slenderman hunting you down or have Freddy Krueger haunting you in your dreams?

Slenderman probably. You At least have a better chance of escaping.
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Would you rather gain the ability to travel to the world of a Disney (or Pixar) movie, or would you rather be able to travel to the world of a Dreamworks movie?

Disney.

Would you rather make Paul Walker live or make Brian Griffin live?

Paul Walker, at least the guy actually exists unlike Brain.

Would you rather spend the day with Tomoko from Watamote or spend the rest of your life Bella Swan.

Tomoko. She's hot.

Would you rather spend $10 a month to use YouTube, or be paid $10 a month to use Vimeo? You can only use the one site, and cannot visit the other during that time.

Be paid $10 a month to use Vimeo.

I know it's not youtube, but it's still acceptable?

Assuming you are a 10 year old boy, would you rather spend the day with the pope or Michael Jackson?

Michael Jackson because he's dead. Besides, there have been dozens of popes (I don't know which one would be the worst).

Would you rather get pantsed in front of your high school crush while in a large crowd (100+ people) or have to wear a diaper for 15 minutes while running around in a movie theatre parking lot (in broad daylight)?

I'll take the pantsing. People forget that quicker.

Would you rather run through a bull stampede or drive down the wrong side of the highway?

F*ck da police.

Live in a world inhabited by Nintendo characters or inhabited by every other video game character?

That .gif looped surprisingly well…

Every other Video Game Character. Dunno why, just do.

Would you rather meet your great grandparents (Pre 1800) or great grandchildren (Post 2200)?

Great grandchildren. I love the future.

Would you rather stay in the Sahara Desert for an hour wearing all black and a winter coat that you cannot take off, or stay in the Arctic Tundra for an hour wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxer shorts?

arctic because polar bears have like fur

will you rather dry hump a moving motorcycle or teabag a trap door spider

Teabag the trapdoor spider. They aren't deadly and it would be for a second.

Would you rather hold your breath underwater in horchata sauce (like this ) or spend an entire day with 10 psychopathic killers from ADX Florence, but you get to choose?

Horchata sauce.

Would you rather be a mod or be the best clone ever.

Be a mod.

Would you rather get Dave's brain in a can or suck dicks for a living?

Get bra1n 1n a can.

Would you rather get h1t by a Nokia 3310 or a Falcon Punch?

I'll take the Nokia.

Would you rather visit North Dakota or North Carolina?

Dakota. Been to Carolina.
Would you rather go back in time to the inquisition, with no money or anything…
OR
Go back to the dinosaur era with an AK-47 and a pistol. You'll go back in 3 days.