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So since interactive adventure forum games have gained a boost in popularity due to "Poorly Drawn Stick Dude Quest", I decided to make my own poorly drawn adventure.
P.S. The naming of "John" was entirely coincidental, and has nothing to do with any other forum game adventure character of the same name.

Eat poster.

Attempt intercourse with the box.

John has no mouth, and therefore can not eat. Besides, who would want to eat that? It would taste all paper-y!

Evolve a mouth.

Retrieve arms.

John, once again, lacks the appropriate appendages to do so. However, he finds that the box's top loosens easily, and he flips it open. Inside is a weird red… thing.

the red thing is actually your wife, which is actually also a copy of Kanye West's My Weird Dark Twisted Fantasy.

you should look lovingly at your wife.

Give her the bedroom eye circles.

Climb into the box and must use

Do leg workouts.

John, despite being skeptical of the idea of loving a red ball thing, decides to kiss it out of the kindness of his heart.
[Click!]
What?
It appears that the thing was not a red ball, but a button! It opened a door that was behind the poster.

Dig a hole through the wall

>Open door, and go through

John thinks a more straightforward approach would just to go through the door.

Inside is… Well, another room, of course. This one has some writing on the walls, and… A door on the ceiling?

Read wall

Laugh uncontrably at the script of Jonah Hill's newest movie on the wall.

Draw birds above the ocean scribbles on the wall.

Question how you were able to do that, at that height, without arms or a pencil in your inventory. Then question life itself.

Erase words written on wall.

realize that your eyes are now carats and worry for your health.

There's nothing to question, as John knows why: Plot convenience!

John thinks a more straightforward approach would just to go through the door.

What? Carrots are good for you!

says you

Use telekinesis to open ceiling door.

Praise the sun. The sun will help you in your time of need.

Evolve a dick.

evolve 8 arms

do a backflip

Invert gravity. It's the only way to reach the door.

Question the plot, then question dat plot.

I don' know but I know the answer to the question of life itself.

What "sun"? John has not seen a "sun" since his spontaneous creation around a day ago, so he doesn't know if he should praise something he's never seen.

John highly doubts this is going to help him progress in this labyrinth of white rooms.

>Open door

>invert gravity to reach door

Why don't he just jump? Is that hard?

Or maybe I could draw the room upside down?

>Go through the door

Yes, let's go through the doo-
Wait, what?
John, did you just break the spacetime continuum?

>moonwalk through the door.

fix the spacetime continuum using legs

Hey, no, that's mine!

>Call Deadpool. His experience at fourth wall business will come in handy.

Ok, looks like John made himself a new friend. What should we call him?

Now's a perfect time to
>Delete System32

Dick