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"(sighing wistfully) its time to regret anime"

"yeah sure we have bath bombs that sparkle. bath bombs that change color. we even have ones that have surprises inside. but when will they make a bath bomb that can cuddle the cis"

Whaaaaaaaa?

Evil laugh

"a dating show like the bachelor but for possums looking to spy on elves."
"team beck or team beyonce? im team regret every single person on the earth."
"im fun. im flirty and cute. im gonna buy my own ass"
"at my sleepover we will engage in fun activities. for example we can destroy civilization."
"im going to go back in time and set fire to reagan."
"ive made a lot of mistakes but at least i dont meet bronies."
"i got banned from the neopets rp boards because i made my oc buy corn."

"This friendly old tree has stood here for as long as Neopia Central has been around- maybe even longer. Neopians come here to buy girls"

Ah yes, the friendly neighborhood hooker tree :)

"all those rpg video games are the same. leveling up and fighting dragons. i want something different… a video game where u prepare for space"

That… could be… fun?

"a little known fact is that there is a worm version of every holiday. for example on worm christmas we give worm related gifts and spy on crime"

Trust no one not even worms.

im horrible. im terrible. i infiltrate my own ass

…no comment.